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Young Writers Society



Revenge of the Jabberwock

by Master_Yoda


A/N: I rarely write poetry, but here is a tribute to Lewis Carroll, one of my favorite writers. I hope you enjoy my more contemporary take on things.

Revenge of the Jabberwock

Twas predan in the dimpring ‘dow,
where flytherbugs prowl through nabsoo
and kindly was the sallyoh
who skoshed the peace basoo.

“Beware those beamish boys, my pet,
The swords that slice, the spears that bleed.
Beware their arrowheads and net,
Of the spligrous souls take heed!”

He crept, his jaws and claws atoe,
Long time the woxome foe he strailed --
So, lazified by the slailing tocks,
a welcome rest he hailed.

And as in uffish thought he stood,
The beamish boy, his eyes ablaze,
Came rockeding through tulgey wood
Conjercing him to daze.

One, Two! One, Two! and through and through
The claws and jaws went splicker-splod,
He left him dead and with his head,
galumphed back to his pod.

“And hast thou slain the beamish boy?
Come to my arms my jabberwock!
Oh frabjous day! Callooh, callay!”
He chortled down the block.

Twas predan in the dimpring ‘dow,
where flytherbugs prowl through nabsoo
and kindly was the sallyoh
who skoshed the peace basoo.

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Wed May 23, 2012 2:01 am
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Terracotta wrote a review...



Hi Yoda,

What fun! I love this idea. It's always entertaining to see a new twist on an old story. :)

For what they're worth, here are my thoughts:

I think the beauty of Lewis Carrol's "Jabberwocky" is that, even though you don't KNOW what the words mean, you can still GUESS what they mean. I thought it was a little difficult to guess what some of the words you used meant (e.g. "Conjercing," "slailing tocks," and "atoe") .

I think in the first stanza you are describing the Jabberwock's habitat, so it's supposed to sound eerie, like a bog? I feel like the line "where flytherbugs prowl through nabsoo" communicated that very well, but I don't think I understood the next two lines.

Hope this review is useful! :)





I wrote a nonsense poemt




Terracotta says...


That last part was supposed to say, I actually wrote a nonsense poem inspired by "Jabberwocky" a couple months ago. If you'd like to review it some time, I could post it here too. :)



Master_Yoda says...


Hey Terracotta,

Thanks for the great review.

The words you wanted interpretations to:
Conjercing -- Magically forcing. A mix between the words Conjuring and coercing.
Slailing -- slowly trailing
Tocks -- Moments of time. Not ticks, but tocks.
atoe -- simply means on his toes. As in His claws upon his toes.

The sallyoh is a type of bird with the call "sally-oh", who broke the silent peace to alert the jabberwock of the beamish boy's presence.

Why not post your own poem? I am not very good with poetry, but I'll look it over if you would like. :)




Overripe sushi, The master Is full of regret.
— Buson