Published April 10, 2009
Remembrance
It had started, simply enough with a fork
It was just a fork, what harm could it do?
Like a lone citizen standing in front of a tank
The solider alone in his endeavor is silenced
But he is not forgotten
Or is he?
The populist outcry of injustices is stifled
Black, Yellow, Red
The Other
The knives of government are victorious,
Adding the utensils of the world to the fork
Are they remembered?
Three cups join in solidarity
They are silent, unmoving, constant
But as they gain their wants and wishes
They turn against each other
In a fervency of violence that consumes them
Will we remember?
A family of brown rimmed plates are condemned
Shuffled along, starved
The cry of a child, encamped; short-lived
Incoherently tousled together
Their lives have become dispensable
How will we remember?
The fork is no longer alone
The world's victims have joined him
In the overflowing crimson dishwater
But the harm is still unseen,
Still repeated
When will we remember?
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
139,447 Literary Works • 672,564 Reviews
Very proper language.
It diddnt really come off as lyrical to me.
As prose, maybe, I dont know I'm no expert.
On to content.
This was a great work, to me at least, some of the parts come off as just kind of tossed together, like you went for a specific feel and or emotion and just kind of jumbled a few things together for a simple image.
I'd work on harsher tones in written form to put forward a clearer and more striking visual image for the reader.
Otherwise, very well done, stunning.
Exe's and Oh's, Eraqio.