Published October 7, 2011
I could write you a letter, sing you a song, or even sacrifice my life
But instead, I will give you one single teardrop
Small and tiny it may be, but it shall explain the truth about me
Innocent, quiet, and different from the rest
Yet there is a raging fire in my chest
I hope you understand what I say
My life is complicated in a simple way
The doors are open all around me, yet I choose not to go
Why?
For reasons that I don't even know
I have a home, a family, and friends, but something is missng from my life
Something so easy to find, but so difficult to reach
So take my teardrop
It may not make any sense now, but one day
This is where you're answers will be
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140,681 Literary Works • 673,591 Reviews
i love this poem i think everyone can relate this at some point in their life not just girls but guys too i hope you can learn shedding tear over this doesnt always work but i understand and i think by far this is my favorite poem i've read so far! you're so extremely talented never stop!
Oh my gosh..... this is one of the single best poems ive read on here! you are a great poest and i hope to read more often
Hey! I thought that this poem was really very good! Good title and it had a great meaning behind it, as the other reviewers pointed out. I shall now attempt to suggest how you could improve it (this is my favourite part haha
)
First of all, something that I noticed right away was how you put a comma after every line. Most people tend to fall into this trap when they write poetry (I do that often too) but sometimes by putting too many commas it can detract from the poem itself and hinder the flow, if you know what I mean. So I think that perhaps you could omit most of the commas you used, just a little pointer.
Another thing is how I noticed your poem wasn't organised into verses or stanzas, perhaps you could do that too.
This was a good beginning, well done. But perhaps you could change "give" in the first line to "write".
I like how you broke off the rhythm with the sudden "why" at the end. I think you could change the first line a bit - I know ending it with "say" creates a rhyme with "way" later on, but it sounds a little......awkward? Maybe "I hope you can understand what I say" would work better? Your choice.
Hmm..I don't know, but this part didn't seem to flow quite as well as the other parts or what I make out as verses or stanzas. Maybe change some words or omit some of the words, because a likely reason as to why some of the verses don't flow properly is because there are too many words or syllables in one line. Also you seemed to rhyme the other verses, but you didn't rhyme this one.
So overall great job! Sorry for all of the crticism, I just wanted you to help improve because with a few changes this would be even better than it is now
P.S. My favourite line, as everyone else has pointed out, is
Not only does it sound nice but it's also a bit of an oxymoron, and I love oxymorons
Overall, great job! Really enjoyed reading it and hope the review helped!
I love the meaning behind this poem. The things that you can't ever explain to people. I feel like this ALL the time!!!
I agree with smilelikeyoumeanit, that my favorite line is 'my life is complicated in a simple way'
My only suggestion is to tweak a couple things in the last two lines
It may not make any sense yet, but one day,
This is where you'll find your answers at
I would change it to:
It won't make sense yet, but one day,
This is where your answers will be (OR: This is where you'll find your answers)
But it's not mine so do whatever you want!
i love this poem. I think it shows what every girl goes through from one time to another.
that is my favorite line, i translate it as how a girl can be really dramatic and things they think are hard in the grand scheme of things are not that bad. It reminds me a little of "rent" and would fit rather well in that musical, which is amazing. i really love this poem i don't know what to say to improve because i think adding to it would spoil it.