"Simple, I'm LOVELESS. P.S. in the box are tapes, security tapes. These tapes date back to five years ago, when I was kidnapped. In the tapes you will see me, but for future reference, you won't recognize me. You won't even know I'm there. I'll be watching over everyone. The kidnapped, the abused, the mistreated, the ill hearted ones. I will be watching and helping, even if it means killing all the wrongful ones or delivering them to the elder's doorstep or police stations. I'm like everyone's personal assassin but I help and hurt. I show no mercy. Signed forever alone, Loveless." As I finished the note, I glanced at Elder Jackson. "Do you believe this?" I had to ask because some of it sounded far-fetched.
"If it's on the tapes, then I'll believe every word." His gruff voice answered.
"But Alpha Asher, Alpha Lionel Asher would never....he'd just--"
"If it's on the tapes, then I'll believe every word." He interrupted me and said again. Knowing he's right, video feed never lies. I sighed, for Lionel's sake, I hope this is as far-fetched as it sounds.
Scooping up the box, I walk towards his office, with all the Elders in tow. Pushing his door open, I spot the television in the corner. Going towards it, I put in the first tape. And low and behold, the truth was out.
I lowered my head in shame as we watched all the security tapes. Not for me but for Lionel. He would, should be ashamed, even in death of the video feed.
When we made it to the last tape, it was of the massacre. And low and behold that too, the note was right. One female killed a pack that would've been considered almost elite. Now she was elite, and even covered in blood, she was striking and mysterious.
"Loveless." I whispered, wondering what her real name was. Her wild, untamed black hair was sticking to her due to fight and blood added to it as she shifted back. Those long tanned legs, covered in scratches and blood due to the battle -massacre-, yet the way she walks can only be described as fierce. There's so much blood, I can't even tell her natural skin tone.
"Why Love? I treated you well. I loved you. Why?" I could hear the desperate plea in Lionel's voice, as if he really did love her, yet he commanded his men to pin her down and he didn't stop them when they attacked her. I wanted to laugh at his voice. He lost all my respect. "I love you." I snort, as if.
"I know no love." She spoke for the first time throughout this whole tape. Her voice sounded broken yet strong and fierce. It was rough and really void of love.
We watched as she broke is next like the first man then disappeared into the house, but the tape kept rolling. Unlike the others when it just died out completely. Fifteen minutes later she emerged out of the house with a bag and clothes on. Looking closer, I could tell she had taken a shower. Now instead of blood cover skin, she has light brownish skin. She stood in the doorway looking over Alpha Lionel's body for a few seconds then she looked directly into the camera as if knowing where it was located by heart.
Her light blue eyes pierced into the camera as she spoke again. "As I said, I'll be there. I'll be watching." Then she lifted up her right hand, which held some type of remote, as she clicked a button the screen went black. We stood there staring at the screen for a couple of seconds. I was about to reach for the remote to turn it off when it popped back on and showed her in the office were are in now. "Oh and answer the phone." She said while tapping the black land line on Lionel's desk. Then screen when black as soon as the phone on Lionel's desk started to ring.
I looked to the phone, then towards the elders. They, on the other hand, looked from the phone to me. Gulping then sighing, I reached over and picked up the phone.
"Speaker." Came one word from the voice I've been hearing for the past couple of seconds from the security tapes. Nodding, even though she couldn't see me, I put the phone on speaker.
Before I could speak, she spoke again. "Elders. Jackson Martinez, Donovan McCane, Margret Harrison, Jomel Inkling and Phecia Patience." She called all of them out by name. Honestly, I don't know how she knew their whole names, even I, their personal assistant, don't even know their whole names. "And Evan Derek Jay Watson." The sound of my name coming from her had my heart skipping a beat and my wolf skipping about.
"Hello...." I said speaking for all of us, but I drifted off hoping she would let us in on her true name.
"Loveless." She says instead.
"What is your real name child." Spoke Elder Margret, her name giving off her age and since of sereneness.
"That name held love Margret," she almost sneered the Elder's name, "and as I have said, I know no love. So therefore my name is simple. I'm Loveless and that will never change. Now down to business."
"You have to come in for the crime that was committed here." Donovan spoke in a harsh voice before she could continue.
"NO," she spoke loudly then softened. "The first crime committed went unjust and would have continued going that way for many years until today Donovan." Again it sounds like saying the Elders names are like poison on the tongue. "So therefore the crime committed today shall do the same and become unjust, unheard of, and un-found out. You Elders," she slurred in an insulting way, "have come a little too late to give ruling. I gave my proposition, and I will stick to it, whether you, Elders, condone it or not. I survived because of strength and lack of love, others are not like me but I will help them. And helping them is like helping you, so consider me working for you."
"How will we keep in contact?" Jackson ask. Not speaking in the tone Donovan used but one of sympathy and almost regret. He must realize her words are true. They've been busy with other packs that, now, they chose to visit.
"No, you do not keep in contact with me. I keep in contact with you. Now, before you have any more deaths on your hands, I'd advise you to go calm your guard Jackson. He is about to walk into his mate's room and realize she died in this 'massacre' but due tell him that his mate, Angelic Novella Price didn't wait for him. Tell him she was mated to a man, who also died in the massacre, named Jamie Samuel Price. She was madly in love with him. And as he continue to get mad, tell him to go take another sniff in her room and see if he smells something else. And to my correct assumptions, the smell of Jamie will be identified along with Angelic's. Tell him not to fret and move on." She finished and the line went dead as soon as we heard a very loud, sorrow filled growl emerge from upstairs.
The Elders and I almost ran out of the office and up the stairs as quickly as possible. We saw Mitchell in the hallway, staring into a room with a whole in the wall beside the door.
"This was my mates room and she died in that....that....abomination of massacre down there." He pointed towards the stairs and front door but didn't look that way.
"How did she know?" Questioned Phecia, to which I answer automatically.
"Because she's watching."
"WHO knew? Who's watching." Asked Mitchell in an angry voice looking in our direction.
"We were told to tell you that your mate, Angelic Novella Price, was already in love and mated with another man, Jamie Samuel Price. She said that Angelic didn't want to wait for her mate. If you take another sniff in her room you will notice the man's scent." Jackson informed his guard.
Mitchell's brows were furrowed as he looked back at the room and walked in and inhaled. A couple of minutes went by and we heard a growl come from the room and the sound of glass being broken.
He walked back out and looked at the Elders then questioned, "How did you know?"
"She told us she'll be there, she'll be watching." Was all I said, but it was toward the Elders.
"Doesn't that mean she's close then." Mused Margret, probably thinking of some way to catch her or to get in front of them.
"She's wise and smart too Margret, so the answer to that is no. No, she's watching but not from a close or far distance. She's watching from somewhere else." I say wisely, because that's basically my job. I am, almost, the voice a reason to them. And even though I haven't see her in person or really talked with him, I think I understand her. I actually feel as though I've known her for a while now.
Looking toward the ceiling at the in the corner. Everybody follows my line of sight to the security camera as well.
"Wise one. Goodbye." We heard her say, as if it was over an intercom of speakers. There was a click and disconnecting noise and then it went silent.
I thought it once and I'll think it again, she's mysterious. No….she’s loveless.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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Whew! You surprised me. It was an intense scene and you had paced yourself correctly, so it doesn’t lag nor does it feels too quick. I get why she left the note, so ignore my thoughts on it in the previous chapter’s review. As I have read werewolf stories, I’m familiar with the terms mates, elders, packs etc. For someone who hasn’t, I’d suggest you give us a bit more clarification on that. Don’t info-dump, but subtly add it in between thoughts/dialogues/actions of your characters. Who’s the narrator in this chapter? We know little about him, except that he works for the elders. Perhaps, you should take the time to introduce us to him, show us a bit of his personality, without being too direct.
I thought the guard’s name was Jackson.
I have a feeling he knew her before she got kidnapped.
This sounded awkward to me.
Try:
I stared at the phone, almost in fascination. Such a mysterious girl, she bore the pain of the harsh world. She’s Loveless....
I’m curious as to why Lionel ordered his people to attack her in the first place, which led to the massacre. If you could tell me, that’d be great!
Overall, amazing work! I’m excited for more. Update soon. Well done, and keep writing!
Yay! I'm eager to read it now.
Hello. Wonder again.
I thought this part of your story to be more interesting then the first part. It seems as you write more it gets better. You described the character more clearly and told more about why she's heartless--"loveless". This was very cool let the last part but I found a few errors:

We watched as she broke is next like the first man then disappeared into the house, but the tape kept rolling.
Isn't it supposed to be: ...as she broke his neck'?
Then I also spotted: And even though I haven't see her in person or really talked with him, I think I understand her. I actually feel as though I've known her for a while now.
It should be: I haven't seen her.....talked with her,
That's it as far as that goes. One other thing I noticed was you usually have a sentence like this: "She is my blood brother. A dear friend." Said Jane. I'm just using this as an example but you need to put a comma after the end of the sentence if you are going to add: she said or he said.
Anyway that's it for my review. I hope you found this hopeful. You really are a good writer keep it up. Keep writing and NEVER get discouraged!
~\/\/onder
Aye-yi-yi. Suspenseful as implied. Not to mention the subtle intensity. I must say that this story has me eager for the next installment. Well done. Is Loveless some sort antihero? Or is she just a nonentity? Or is she like Gossip Girl? Omnipresent, but no one knows who the hell she is? Yes, I'm GG fan. Guilty pleasure. Either way, I am intrigued. She obviously has no respect for these...wise men? Elders? Secret society? Sorry for the Twenty Questions, but you made the mistake of provoking my curiosity. Shame on you (or not). I cannot find much to offer criticism on, except for when another speaker cuts off or interrupts another speaker, you end the speaker's dialogue with -- if you know what I mean.
Nice story.
See ya:D
Oh thanks, I didn't even notice that. And please do read the first part. Loveless - The Massacre You'll get the whole letter and see what the 'massacre' was about.
Huh I never thought her to be and antihero but yeah it seems like she is.