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The Dream World

by Mariel

          Listen... Close you're eyes and listen.Do you hear that? That's silence- the sound of the wind. Probably not every one will,like only two will. I'm perfectly aware that you all know that scientists have discovered life on planet Mars but they have not discovered this yet- 'The Dream World'

          The only place where everything is just perfect. Perfect love, perfect sex, perfect girlfriend, perfect pain and probably perfect death. The only place where there is only one rule - Do not open you're eyes. Dreaming is like looking in a mirror. Ladies, when you look in a mirror, I'm perfectly aware that you'll see you're perfect looks, nice eyes, nice lips and so on but have you ever imagined life behind that mirror? Just looking at that mirror, you'll find out that you're left seduces you're right and vice versa. This probably means that life behind that mirror is perfectly the opposite of that of this side. When a virgin and then you cross that line, you will probably die of sex that side. This isn't fun not even rocket science.

          Look, you all know that guy called Lord, he has no face but he really gives justice. He created the world without corners so that when it pushes you that side you would probably push back. Now the world is so fair, it gives chance to every one, when you play you're life, you also play someone's. When you make a mistake, many will suffer from it but similarly many will benefit and when you dream, you make others dream. In real life,you will find out that many were born on you're date but when you see them now, you'll find out that some are deaf, blind and others dump. Some might have died at birth and others aborted before birth.

          Now in The Dream World, life is like writing a novel and then reading it when you well know that this and that happened on this chapter. That's how God works, he knows who's gonna die two minutes from now. You wait and see. But sometimes I ain't just with Him, he knew that Eve would eat the forbidden fruit but still he created her. I think he would only make Adam impotent!

           As I conclude, I want you to start believing in dreams. But wait, don't you think that when you dream, its like building a house in a house- A dream in a dream?That would probably be you're second dream cause you're already dreaming. Just reading this work piece you're dreaming! The probability that you've been sleeping for five years is one. All this is a dream, our bodies were locked up some where and everyone is dreaming.

But I love dreaming for one reason: Five years ago before I started dreaming, I had had a thought of writing something that millions would read but finally broke down. But you know what? When dreaming, we control everything and all is possible. Even if you die, you would probably turn the clock back and then go well.

           We've been sleeping for five years. I really don't know when we will stop sleeping but I'm sure that I will be the first to wake up. And when I wake up, the first thing I will do,is to write this story...

                                                                                                                      - Mariel Kayiira

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Points: 33
Reviews: 3

Fri Jan 26, 2018 8:40 pm
deleted22 wrote a review...

The amount it detail in this story is quite refreshing. This sort of remind me of a type of genre in writing that I don't see very often. And this genre is Magical Realism.

You connected the process of dreaming and the imagination beyond this world (literally). Dreams to me, seem like the closest scientific thing that involves magic, or really, imagination. It is so hard to understand dreams and it is so hard to grasp that one can create a very different world in the inside of their head.

I would also like to note that the hook is very well written and reached another level of imagery. Great use of figurative language and thank you for making think about dreams and how I view them now.

Awesome work!!

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841 Reviews

Points: 664
Reviews: 841

Fri Jan 26, 2018 1:10 am
Radrook wrote a review...

Thanks for sharing this personal opinion essay concerning dreaming. I love the introduction because it immediately involved me as a reader. As if the writer is directly talking to me.

I was a bit astonished with the claim that life has been found on Mars. So I assumed that the speaker is speaking from some future date when that might become a reality.

When the essay mentioned a dream-world I at first imagined the dreams that happen during regular sleep. However when control of the dreams was mentioned, I assumed daydreaming because regular dreams are far from self-controlled events.

The mention of perfection made me think about how perfection is relative. A perfect world in daydreaming will vary with every person. What does a sadist daydream about if not the pleasures of inflicting pain? What does a rapist daydream about if not raping? Same with murderers, thieves, liars, etc. Each one has a different sense of what constitutes perfection and dreams accordingly and feels happy within that daydream because it conforms to his or her moral standards.

there are other claims made in the essay which would require the presentation of evidence and counter-evidence in order to evaluate. So as they stand they are personal opinion. Nevertheless, the essay was very thought-provoking. I agree with the other reviewer that it is better to focus on fewer ideas.

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5 Reviews

Points: 9
Reviews: 5

Thu Jan 25, 2018 7:30 pm
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Po5eidon says...

This seems great! Only 1 thing though (Sorry). I think that the story is fantastic, but its quite a lot to take in. I think that you should take out a TINY bit of detail. It's like a massive meal, you can't eat it all at once, but if you put some of the food that you don't need away, it would be perfect. (Sorry if this offended you, I'm only trying to help)

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62 Reviews

Points: 20
Reviews: 62

Thu Jan 25, 2018 7:11 pm
CorruptedArrow wrote a review...

Hey Corrupted Arrow here with a review!
(The Comma Police is here! Anything I say here is just constructive criticism. If i offend you I apologize in advance.(I will try to be humorous.)

"That's how God works, he knows who's gonna die two minutes from now. You wait and see. But sometimes I ain't just with Him, he knew that Eve would eat the forbidden fruit but still he created her. I think he would only make Adam impotent!" There's a difference between 'Impotent' and 'Important'. I am a firm Christian, God still loves them. We are always drawn to the dark, and we fall into sin, but he still loves us no matter what sins we have made.

Anyways from what I can see you don't have any grammar and/or comma mistakes. Keep up the writing, have a good day.

"Death is cheap, and so is life, but a reputation is not easily recovered."
— SirenCymbaline the Kiwi