Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
139,524 Literary Works • 672,598 Reviews
It's a lovely poem. It delves into a deep, stirring problem. This is mirrored by its subdued tone.
There were a few grammos and typos:
When your mopping a quiet room,
I think it should be you're.
You start to think.
Your mind wanders,
And You wonder why,
Why You?
... So much has happened,
So much is now gone,
So many things are happening to You,
You wonder,
Does God Have something against You?
When the radio beeps on,
Your thinking stops,
Reality comes back,
And you finally realize you just have to live with what your given,
That should be you're again.
That's when you stop crying,
That's when you stop being upset,
Is when YOu know you have to be strong,
What must be capitalised there and what must not?
Because sombody else has to be stonger.
So come back to life,
And just stop thinking about what happened before,
Think about the furture.
That should be "future".
I liked the tone, stanzas etc. They added to the sadness and almost lethargic feeling of the poem. Great job!
This was nice, but I felt like it could've had more imagery so we could really delve in on what you were feeling. I suppose it felt a little too summarized to me....it was a good overview of emotions but I want a little hint of a story along with it (which is not to say that it has to be long - just that your words have to count). This was nice, though, and I think if you expanded on this it could be great.
Keep writing,
StoryWeaver