Forget.

This is a work I wrote when my Grandmother died of Alzheimer's disease. It was placed in an envelope and put into the coffin next to her. I hope you read it Babciu - I miss you so much.

I remember when I opened my eyes
And I saw your kind yet worn face
You looked like an angel from the skies
No-one could take your place

I remember you stayed up at night
Chased the bad monsters away
Sang me lullabies to stop my fright
Then laughed throughout the day

I remember you would always ask
If I was hungry, tired or ill
You’d make raspberry juice in that tiny flask
I wish I could drink it still

I remember how your eyes shined bright
You’d make me little sandwiches
You called them soldiers and pretended they fight
They would always be waiting

I remember how your eyes grew worn
We stopped coming to see you so much
For a while I missed you, I was torn
But my age grew and ignorance caught up

I remember how we’d bring you meals
When you couldn’t cook anymore
I missed the soldiers and I couldn’t feel
Like I could leave through that door

I remember how I wanted to see you
But I was too young to understand
That you wouldn’t be around as I grew
My head came out of the clouds and I felt myself land

I remember how I wanted to write this for you
How I didn’t think it was good enough
Each time I tried the words fell through
They weren’t perfect or calm, but gritty and rough

I remember how you looked at me
And struggled to try not to forget
I stopped the tears when you couldn’t see
That I wasn’t someone you had only just met




I remember when I couldn’t stop the tears
Because I wanted nothing more that night
One of my greatest fears
I had just wanted to say goodbye

I remember what I told myself
That I would try it one last time
I tried to see inside, to dig or delve
And I failed to make you see you were mine

I remember but you can only forget
All I want is for you not to leave
Without a memory of the life you had
And I wish I could make you remember

But now even I forget
I regret I never said this to you
And it hurts to know you will never forget
Because you never remembered

Just remember I loved you and I will
Not only for the whole of your life
But the rest of mine

*

Now I’m reading this after a year
And you’ve already gone
Just know I always held you so dear
It just seems our time together is done

I’ll miss you for the rest of my time here

Kocham Cie, Babciu.