A place to live

by Maki-Chan

Published November 17, 2007

A place to live,
growing as the years go by,
enjoying the memories,
of the happy times,
times with your mother,
your father,
and your siblings,
for when times are bad,
A place to escape to,
when everything goes wrong,
A place to dream,
as you drift into the worlds of your mind,
but know that when you wake,
you'll be in a place of love and care,
A place to be loved,
to make your heart soar,
the chains of love,
strong with in your heart,
alowing you to live on,
The place that gives you all you need,
is the true home of your heart,
to me it is a place to live,
with those you love.
:smt027

Comments & reviews · 2
User avatar
Maki-Chan
Comment
Maki-Chan commented Comment · Nov 17, 2007

i'm not very good at peoty, so i'll try harder and i'll probably rewrite it!
thanks for the truth. :)

User avatar
Incandescence
Review
Incandescence wrote a review Review · Nov 17, 2007

Maki-Chan,


You have collected a bunch of words that mean basically nothing and called it a poem. It's like you walked into Hallmark, picked up a few cards, and jotted this down. There's nothing moving, touching, or original about it.

Read some real poetry, then try again.


Best,
Brad



"She doesn't even go here!"
— Damian Leigh