gffhfh

by MaitrePrinceRebel
  • December 27, 2005
  • Lyrics

Deleted

Comments & reviews · 1
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niteowl
Review
niteowl wrote a review · Wed Feb 01, 2006 3:05 am

Since you were the last person to give me a review (and perhaps the only one to give *gasp* constructive criticism on) a song and since a quick scroll revealed this is the only song on the first page with no reviews, I thought I'd go ahead and review it.

I really liked this. The first verse threw me off a bit. I'm not quite sure who's busy dangerously thinking. A subject pronoun may help there. And I didn't like the wealth line.

In the second verse, it says "Trying to do their best" but what are they trying to do their best at?

Good job, keep it up! :thumb:



Every time I’ve gotten feedback that was hard to take it was usually hard to take because there was truth in it and I didn’t like that (or didn’t want to receive it). That’s not to say all harsh feedback is good or that we should be harsh for harshness’ sake, but learning to absorb truth without letting it break your inner core/break you is a lifelong skill that keeps your mind elastic and open to learning.
— soundofmind