Published August 8, 2011
Sorry, posted this in the wrong section. Transferring it over to the correct one!
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139,058 Literary Works • 672,402 Reviews
Is it just me who can't see it?
Does this mean the story exists elsewhere? If so, could you put a link on my profile? This is the second time I've come here today, wanting to read the story, but being unable to find it. I honestly want to read this now, just to find out what it's all about!!
Please feel free to come to me if you want anything reviewed
~*cottonrulz*~
Great first chapter! I liked it a lot! Can't wait till chapter 2
Love it! The atmosphere created is effective and your grammar and spelling is good also
Thanks very much for the feedback!
I really liked this piece. I love the way you paced that conversation between the two. Is this a romance? It feels very relaxed and breezy. This was made for the summertime, I can tell it is. I found the first paragraph, however, a bit too informative. Remember: show and don't tell. If it is twenty-one degrees, describe it. If there is music playing, I want to hear it. The last paragraph was a little cliched. It could be a bit more original I think. Overall, great stuff! Can't wait for chapter 2.