Young Writers Society

Home » Literary works » Novel / Chapter » Mystery / Suspense

12+

LoaMR: Ch.IX: Change of Tracks 2

by MailicedeNamedy


Benedikt Silberlilie couldn't enjoy coming back to his home.

The long journey had visibly exhausted him. If only he had someone there to talk to, to welcome him at the front door... He didn't want to get a cat or a dog because he didn't have the time to look after them regularly. Moreover, he was rarely at home.

Almost sweating, he left the automobile in front of the garage and took the steps up. The cool north wind gave movement to the treetops. A breeze brought him to better thoughts. There were urgent matters he had to attend to.

The study was in a disastrous state. Documents and reports lay everywhere on the floor. Books hid the desk and the jade plant and orchids had already died, despite the open window. Panting and depressed, he set his bag on a vacant chair and swam through the load of work. He found the phone quickly; it rang just as he was about to sit down. But when he picked it up, the other person had already lost patience.

"Hmm..."

He tried to find out who it could have been.

He immediately set about cleaning up and in between kept getting ideas about who might have called him.

"Crap!"

He remembered that he wanted to stop by the company. He looked at the grandfather´s clock in the living room and thought he could make it to the main building before he had to call Claire. He ran down the steps at full speed and was in the car faster than he would have liked. He hit his head on the roof and cursed loudly as the vehicle rolled down the driveway.

***

His assistant, Ernst Rothmann, was no longer expecting him. He was reading through some contracts and then sorting new files into the cupboards when his boss entered.

"Good evening," he greeted, "I forgot some important documents that I had to submit to the boss. I had let him know before I left..."

"All done," Rothmann confessed with satisfaction, "I brought the papers up myself because Mr Haarmann asked for them. That's why I had to rummage through your papers for a moment."

"Good, because it's important. As an assistant, you have thought of everything. Thank you very much."

Benedikt sat down in his seat, exhausted, and looked at the desk. It was tidier than at home. He disliked his table lamp with its green shade. While he pondered who might have called him, he played with the lamp, constantly illuminating his work surface. Hoping, he even thought it might have been Claire when he immediately put it out of his mind.

The manager stood up and looked around the room. He had been doing this job for over fifteen years. Why he had been chosen, of all people, he could not understand. He had been in therapy and away from his children for too long when he was promoted overnight. Doubting his abilities, he turned out of the window and left Rothmann alone with the files.

The view of Seelenherz Square was not only breathtaking when standing on it. If one explained to a visitor that they were in the middle of a city of millions, one could only verify this statement when one went beyond the trees. The two buildings were encircled by all kinds of trees.

There was a hint of pink in the air.

Benedikt did not know why, but he accepted it. The sun cast a brilliant light on the surrounding trees and the building. He almost couldn't make out Rothmann as the sun stood awkwardly.

Benedikt rested for a moment. His hands trembled nervously as he sat back on the chair. The last few days had been too much for him. If he didn't have his assistant, he would probably be lying collapsed on the floor.

Just as Benedikt picked up the phone, his assistant's desk rang.

"Seelenherz Inc, headquarters Berlyne, Rothmann speaking, deputy of Mr Silberlilie. What can I do for you?"

He listened briefly as he signalled that it was for Benedikt. The tired man got up and dragged himself to Rothmann.

"Hello, Benedikt Silberlilie, here?"

"Father, it's me! Why didn't you call?" came from the Bakelite device.

"Bolderich!"

Almost screaming, he spoke to his caller. Relieved and shocked at the same time, he stopped next to Rothmann.

"Why should I call?"

"We were going to have dinner tonight since you came back from Senfl Castle! Seems like you forgot!"

"Forgive me, Bolderich. I didn't think about it anymore. Listen, we're having dinner tomorrow night, I'm still at the office right now. Business isn't going so well. Besides, I have to call Claire tonight. I have too much on my plate."

"A father apologising to his son? I've never heard that before. You seem overworked. Well, I'll be waiting for you tomorrow at Star Square at 6 p.m.,” Bolderich laughed. "Say hello to Claire from me! Goodbye."

"Goodbye..." Benedikt mumbled.

Grasping his forehead, he crawled back to his worktable and took a seat.

"A coffee? Tea?”

"No thanks, otherwise, I won't get any rest at all," he grinned, "As you heard, business hasn't been so good. Levin has the temps lining up for another company. Buyers from abroad must have more money than us."

Rothmann smiled at his boss.

"A little joke? We are Seelenherz Inc."

"Unfortunately, no. And now the dinner. How could I have forgotten? I think I've been thinking too much about my youngest daughter the last few days."

"Claire, isn't it?"

Benedikt returned it with a nod of his head.

"I'll call her now. Could you leave the office for a moment?"

"I have some papers to deliver to Mr Haarmann."

Alone in the office, the father of a family could take a breath before he wanted to call his daughter. He could not have known that she was already on the train to Pfalzburg, closer to him than he thought.

Aunt Waltraud was equally astonished when she heard Claire's statements on the phone. Two hours, Benedikt had never been on the phone that long. It was also unusual for his sister to keep the mayor waiting in the restaurant. No one knew where Claire was. For the father, there was no other option than to notify the police immediately.

The aunt was able to reassure him, saying that Claire was away with Emma. She saw the father as the trigger for this silent holiday opportunity and said she would be back. If necessary, she could check with Emma's mother.

For Benedikt, it was more than too much.

He never had any concerns about his work in his life. Now he was asked the question of whether he should be there more for his family or for his job. He found the answer when he went for a walk shortly after sunset towards the Atriale district, in the east of the city. The very next morning he made a phone call and immediately got an appointment with his therapist, Miss Kaufmann.

***

"Problems for Mr Silberlilie mean changes in plans for me in the coming weeks. Mr von Senfl has passed on the negotiations. I suspect that my boss blames himself. He didn't get the contracts to Mr Haarmann in time," Rothmann explained.

The flat was made for a young couple.

There was no hallway. One went straight into the living room, from there into the bathroom and the narrow, elongated kitchen. The parlour, separated by a wide opening surrounded by purple curtains, led three steps further into the bed-chamber. The three rooms were octagonal, with high ceilings and large windows. A balcony connected the bathroom with the kitchen. The colours were light overall, the wooden door frames painted black. It was noble.

With the balustrade, one had a view of the inner courtyard.

The smell there was reminiscent of factories. Exhausted and starving workers came from there to their rooms and spent the night in one of the overcrowded beds just across the courtyard in the building. Sometimes Rothmann thought he could hear the squeaking of shoes. Thin walls were a horror for any privacy.

He still felt comfortable. He couldn't afford to live here, so he shared it with a colleague. In general, he was happy to take the underground to his workplace without changing trains, even though these journeys annoyed him.

"That sounds awfully bad. Will you be home late the next few days?"

The voice came from the bathroom. Rothmann went back in the kitchen preparing dinner. The balcony doors were open.

"Tomorrow evening in any case. Mr Silberlilie is having dinner with his son. That's where I benefit from the few hours to tidy up some files and make some phone calls," he returned as he sliced the tomatoes, "I must honestly confess that I've been a bit sloppy the last few days as well. Work takes me sometimes, sometimes not."

"Really? Were you asleep? I'm sure some people will have noticed."

"No, don't worry, I wasn't asleep. I had some problems with Miss Hirsch. She came to the office so often to talk to my boss, even though she knew he wasn't there. It made me so angry that I lurked for her. All the while I was waiting for her at my desk for three hours."

"Really? You are one to me. You're even better paid than the mimes in the vaudeville. Maybe she likes you."

"Nonsense. She is too old. Besides, she knows that marriage means her expulsion. I think she comes to our office because we are the only ones who don't gossip about her. After all, Benedikt is her boss too."

"Because she's a woman?"

"Are you almost ready, dinner is on the table."

"Smoke one and I'm done."

He rarely had a cigarette, but sometimes Rothmann needed it. The only person who knew about his smoking habits was his roommate. She was also the only one who knew that he was a member of a tobacco college, although Rothmann was very reluctant to go there. His visits were mostly about work, he avoided the place most of the time. If someone waved to him in the street, he would act friendly and strike up a conversation with the mostly older gentlemen if he were recognised. But in general, Rothmann did not care much for smoking. His roommate agreed. Although she would have loved to be in a tobacco college, she was refused entry. This led to discussions between her and Rothmann from time to time because she tried several times to get in.

This was not the only thing that was much rumoured in the house.

The older ladies from the fifth floor whispered that they had no real relationship. Rothmann didn't care. They were probably senile and moronic. He didn't care what they said about him or his roommate, as long as everyone did their job well and quickly, no one should be criticised for their private life.

The elderly ladies earned their living by providing beds. The many workers who lived in these houses all had to toil in the industrial areas. Most of the halls there belonged to Seelenherz Inc. and were allowed to make themselves comfortable in the back houses.

The men would be happy to swap places with him, though Rothmann could sing a song about how it wasn't always nice to live with an unmarried woman. She came and went as she pleased, she had been away for the last few days for work and was only supposed to be here for a short detour before she had to leave again.

The bathroom door was opened. It was followed by the warm fog.

"Where are you?" she asked.

"Balcony. Smoke. Like you said."

"I didn't even notice you."

Ernst removed the puddles she had left behind. He was already used to cleaning up after her and always wondered how she managed to keep the flat clean on her own. He was often away on business and when he came home, everything was as tidy as he had left it. He didn't think she cared; she must have grabbed someone from the back of the tired factory workers to clean the flat. Or she lived somewhere else entirely in the meantime. Ernst wasn't sure about that and didn't ask. As long as everything was in order and clean, there was no reason to criticise her.

As he inspected the bathroom, he now heard her speaking from the kitchen.

"Are you coming to dinner?"

"There's a place set on the balcony," he replied, recoiling as he now caught sight of her juggling the two plates.

Ernst came back into the kitchen, washed his hands, and brought a wine outside to her. She already had the bowl of salad by her and was nibbling on it. He joined her and poured her wine while she distributed the salad.

***

"The tomatoes taste really good," Ernst revealed at the first bite.

"Fresh from the market. I got them this morning before Mrs Fuchs from fifth was awake."

"Is she giving you trouble?"

"No. Don't worry. The police don't show up because we're not married or anything. Divorce is becoming more popular, so is raising children alone. The Great War didn't change the men's world alone, it changed the women's movement. You see it when you walk the streets. Forget skirts and orders from men. We, women, are becoming more independent and don't want to stay in the kitchen forever."

"Should I get scared now?" asked Ernst gloomily. “You come back after so many days and already you start debating again, Daphne.”

"No, just don't. I mean that everything will change."

"I'm sure it will. Oh, do you remember the boss's other children?"

"Claire and Greta...?"

"Claire and Giselle. Well, as far as I know from him, Claire, his youngest daughter, is now also supposed to move here and attend the Petra Schröder School."

"Mr Silberlilie is a very conservative person. Does he want to make her a chambermaid?"

"I'm not getting involved, it came to me now because you were talking about Emanpa... Emancipation."

"Seems I have to teach your boss a lesson. The poor girl can't be for it voluntarily!"

"The bread is very fresh. From the market?"

"The same market. Don't change the subject now! I was just talking about equality! You can already see that very well on the streets these days. The war is far away, and we can celebrate as long as the time is available to us. What I meant is that the Great War is an excellent help to us women. Perhaps this war will also change the world..."

"I'm sure it will. But in the end, you will all be alone. Men die at the front. Not at home."

To IX.3.


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
2829 Reviews


Points: 296170
Reviews: 2829

Donate
Fri Oct 29, 2021 8:06 am
View Likes
HarryHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

First Impression: Okayy...this was an interesting chapter. We get to know a little bit more about Benedikt and also learn of an interesting situation with his office that certainly raised a few alarm bells before it was all swept under the rug. And we also got a lot of information about that assistant, perhaps a bit too much information there.

Anyway let's get right to it,

Benedikt Silberlilie couldn't enjoy coming back to his home.

The long journey had visibly exhausted him. If only he had someone there to talk to, to welcome him at the front door... He didn't want to get a cat or a dog because he didn't have the time to look after them regularly. Moreover, he was rarely at home.

Almost sweating, he left the automobile in front of the garage and took the steps up. The cool north wind gave movement to the treetops. A breeze brought him to better thoughts. There were urgent matters he had to attend to.

The study was in a disastrous state. Documents and reports lay everywhere on the floor. Books hid the desk and the jade plant and orchids had already died, despite the open window. Panting and depressed, he set his bag on a vacant chair and swam through the load of work. He found the phone quickly; it rang just as he was about to sit down. But when he picked it up, the other person had already lost patience.


Okay...well this is quite a start here. I have no idea who to suspect or where to begin with trying to figure out how or when this happened, but I really love the sudden bit of mystery that we get thrown into with it even striking Claire's father. I assumed maybe he would have something to do with the more mysterious aspects of the story as well and it looks like I maybe assumed right. At any rate, this is a nice way to really throw this surprise on us, let's see how Benedikt reacts here.

"Hmm..."

He tried to find out who it could have been.

He immediately set about cleaning up and in between kept getting ideas about who might have called him.

"Crap!"

He remembered that he wanted to stop by the company. He looked at the grandfather´s clock in the living room and thought he could make it to the main building before he had to call Claire. He ran down the steps at full speed and was in the car faster than he would have liked. He hit his head on the roof and cursed loudly as the vehicle rolled down the driveway.


Okayy...interesting change of mind there....I guess he remembered important things he should've been doing so it makes sense for him to go off on a tangent like that all of a sudden, but it is a bit of an odd moment there for him to all of a sudden to run away from his messy office, I wonder if this is maybe a setup for another moment.

His assistant, Ernst Rothmann, was no longer expecting him. He was reading through some contracts and then sorting new files into the cupboards when his boss entered.

"Good evening," he greeted, "I forgot some important documents that I had to submit to the boss. I had let him know before I left..."

"All done," Rothmann confessed with satisfaction, "I brought the papers up myself because Mr Haarmann asked for them. That's why I had to rummage through your papers for a moment."

"Good, because it's important. As an assistant, you have thought of everything. Thank you very much."


Ahh...this wholesome friendship of sorts between Benedikt and his assistant continues I see. I really loved seeing their interaction in the previous part where they got involved and this is no different. It really one of the least toxic relationships we get to see in this story.

The manager stood up and looked around the room. He had been doing this job for over fifteen years. Why he had been chosen, of all people, he could not understand. He had been in therapy and away from his children for too long when he was promoted overnight. Doubting his abilities, he turned out of the window and left Rothmann alone with the files.

The view of Seelenherz Square was not only breathtaking when standing on it. If one explained to a visitor that they were in the middle of a city of millions, one could only verify this statement when one went beyond the trees. The two buildings were encircled by all kinds of trees.

There was a hint of pink in the air.

Benedikt did not know why, but he accepted it. The sun cast a brilliant light on the surrounding trees and the building. He almost couldn't make out Rothmann as the sun stood awkwardly.


Alright....we're sorting going off on a description bases tangent there for the nth time in one of these stories...and I think maybe this is one of those times where it works better than on most other opportunities. Here we seem to have him sort of being in somewhat of a reflective mood and just kind of looking out towards what's out his window...its a nice moment.

He listened briefly as he signalled that it was for Benedikt. The tired man got up and dragged himself to Rothmann.

"Hello, Benedikt Silberlilie, here?"

"Father, it's me! Why didn't you call?" came from the Bakelite device.

"Bolderich!"

Almost screaming, he spoke to his caller. Relieved and shocked at the same time, he stopped next to Rothmann.

"Why should I call?"

"We were going to have dinner tonight since you came back from Senfl Castle! Seems like you forgot!"


Ooooh, so this is his son calling...was not expecting that, looks like he's just kind of equally too busy to help out both his children. I do feel a bit sorry for the poor guy from the couple of scenes that we have seen of him. So far I see no real reason to dislike him or like him...so we'll see how he behaves in the times to come here.

"Forgive me, Bolderich. I didn't think about it anymore. Listen, we're having dinner tomorrow night, I'm still at the office right now. Business isn't going so well. Besides, I have to call Claire tonight. I have too much on my plate."

"A father apologising to his son? I've never heard that before. You seem overworked. Well, I'll be waiting for you tomorrow at Star Square at 6 p.m.,” Bolderich laughed. "Say hello to Claire from me! Goodbye."

"Goodbye..." Benedikt mumbled.

Grasping his forehead, he crawled back to his worktable and took a seat.

"A coffee? Tea?”


OKay...well that conversation actually went somewhat well, a lot better than I thought anyway. Either Bolderich is a better actor than Claire or he genuinely seems to have a fairly good relationship with his father especially with that little joke thrown in. That seems like a normal moment for once in this story.

"Unfortunately, no. And now the dinner. How could I have forgotten? I think I've been thinking too much about my youngest daughter the last few days."

"Claire, isn't it?"

Benedikt returned it with a nod of his head.

"I'll call her now. Could you leave the office for a moment?"

"I have some papers to deliver to Mr Haarmann."

Alone in the office, the father of a family could take a breath before he wanted to call his daughter. He could not have known that she was already on the train to Pfalzburg, closer to him than he thought.


Okayy...Mr. Narrator, calm down. You don't need to tell us all of that. We know very well, so please, just let us make that assumption and then prove it to us later whenever this call actually happens. You don't need to go off on a tangent and explain everything, that kind of ruins the moment somewhat in some cases too.

The aunt was able to reassure him, saying that Claire was away with Emma. She saw the father as the trigger for this silent holiday opportunity and said she would be back. If necessary, she could check with Emma's mother.

For Benedikt, it was more than too much.

He never had any concerns about his work in his life. Now he was asked the question of whether he should be there more for his family or for his job. He found the answer when he went for a walk shortly after sunset towards the Atriale district, in the east of the city. The very next morning he made a phone call and immediately got an appointment with his therapist, Miss Kaufmann.


Okayy....well that's a good move on his part. Its good to see that as a father he's starting to question himself a little in whether he is truly doing the best. He really seems to me so far like a genuinely good man but one who dived a little too deep into his work and is maybe only know starting to realize that was a bad idea. He doesn't as evil as Claire makes him out to be at any rate.

"Problems for Mr Silberlilie mean changes in plans for me in the coming weeks. Mr von Senfl has passed on the negotiations. I suspect that my boss blames himself. He didn't get the contracts to Mr Haarmann in time," Rothmann explained.

The flat was made for a young couple.

There was no hallway. One went straight into the living room, from there into the bathroom and the narrow, elongated kitchen. The parlour, separated by a wide opening surrounded by purple curtains, led three steps further into the bed-chamber. The three rooms were octagonal, with high ceilings and large windows. A balcony connected the bathroom with the kitchen. The colours were light overall, the wooden door frames painted black. It was noble.

With the balustrade, one had a view of the inner courtyard.


Err...this one is a slightly odd transition, I don't quite know where we are going immediately. I end up having to read it through a couple of times to figure out where this is trying to go and I don't think that's a good sign. I think maybe the start of this could do with a little bit more streamlining.

The smell there was reminiscent of factories. Exhausted and starving workers came from there to their rooms and spent the night in one of the overcrowded beds just across the courtyard in the building. Sometimes Rothmann thought he could hear the squeaking of shoes. Thin walls were a horror for any privacy.

He still felt comfortable. He couldn't afford to live here, so he shared it with a colleague. In general, he was happy to take the underground to his workplace without changing trains, even though these journeys annoyed him.

"That sounds awfully bad. Will you be home late the next few days?"


At any rate, love the description as always. It is sooo thorough that its truly amazing to see and looks like we're also running into mabe another character here although I feel like this is maybe one of those more random side characters than anything else..

"No, don't worry, I wasn't asleep. I had some problems with Miss Hirsch. She came to the office so often to talk to my boss, even though she knew he wasn't there. It made me so angry that I lurked for her. All the while I was waiting for her at my desk for three hours."

"Really? You are one to me. You're even better paid than the mimes in the vaudeville. Maybe she likes you."

"Nonsense. She is too old. Besides, she knows that marriage means her expulsion. I think she comes to our office because we are the only ones who don't gossip about her. After all, Benedikt is her boss too."

"Because she's a woman?"

"Are you almost ready, dinner is on the table."

"Smoke one and I'm done."


OKay...seems like just a regular sort of adult conversation, I have no idea how these are supposed to go usually but I feel like this is realistic enough...its a fun little dynamic here at any rate...and we're not really learning anything important besides maybe a little bit about Rothmann's personality but strangely I'm okay with it at this point in time.

This was not the only thing that was much rumoured in the house.

The older ladies from the fifth floor whispered that they had no real relationship. Rothmann didn't care. They were probably senile and moronic. He didn't care what they said about him or his roommate, as long as everyone did their job well and quickly, no one should be criticised for their private life.

The elderly ladies earned their living by providing beds. The many workers who lived in these houses all had to toil in the industrial areas. Most of the halls there belonged to Seelenherz Inc. and were allowed to make themselves comfortable in the back houses.

The men would be happy to swap places with him, though Rothmann could sing a song about how it wasn't always nice to live with an unmarried woman. She came and went as she pleased, she had been away for the last few days for work and was only supposed to be here for a short detour before she had to leave again.


Okay...I feel like maybe we dived a little too deep into the inner working of Rothmann's lilfe and then all about the gossip around him, and its a bit much I think. I don't mind if these details all exist and even if you reveal it all, but having it all dumped on us and in the same place...it can get a little boring and it seems a bit unnecessary.

Ernst removed the puddles she had left behind. He was already used to cleaning up after her and always wondered how she managed to keep the flat clean on her own. He was often away on business and when he came home, everything was as tidy as he had left it. He didn't think she cared; she must have grabbed someone from the back of the tired factory workers to clean the flat. Or she lived somewhere else entirely in the meantime. Ernst wasn't sure about that and didn't ask. As long as everything was in order and clean, there was no reason to criticise her.

As he inspected the bathroom, he now heard her speaking from the kitchen.

"Are you coming to dinner?"

"There's a place set on the balcony," he replied, recoiling as he now caught sight of her juggling the two plates.

Ernst came back into the kitchen, washed his hands, and brought a wine outside to her. She already had the bowl of salad by her and was nibbling on it. He joined her and poured her wine while she distributed the salad.


OKayy...well this is just kind of some generic domestic stuff going on here and its a good scene. I don't mind it at all, but I feel like it does nothing to really contribute to the story yet and that's just not that great. I feel like maybe you should include a bit more that has to do with the story a little earlier. I like how you take the time to establish these things but sometimes like in this situation it drags on for a little bit too long.

"No. Don't worry. The police don't show up because we're not married or anything. Divorce is becoming more popular, so is raising children alone. The Great War didn't change the men's world alone, it changed the women's movement. You see it when you walk the streets. Forget skirts and orders from men. We, women, are becoming more independent and don't want to stay in the kitchen forever."

"Should I get scared now?" asked Ernst gloomily. “You come back after so many days and already you start debating again, Daphne.”

"No, just don't. I mean that everything will change."

"I'm sure it will. Oh, do you remember the boss's other children?"

"Claire and Greta...?"


Okayy..maybe this is finally swinging towards the sort of things that we want to see here...with the conversation being about the children and maybe we can now get an exclusive look at how other people besides Claire see Benedikt's treatment of his children.

"The bread is very fresh. From the market?"

"The same market. Don't change the subject now! I was just talking about equality! You can already see that very well on the streets these days. The war is far away, and we can celebrate as long as the time is available to us. What I meant is that the Great War is an excellent help to us women. Perhaps this war will also change the world..."

"I'm sure it will. But in the end, you will all be alone. Men die at the front. Not at home."


Okayy...well there we go, we end on a note I feel could eventually become rather relevant to this story and that is definitely something that I like seeing here. :D This is a good point to end on here.

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

Overall: Overall, another interesting part. I think this one I'm shifting back and forth between whether I like it or not and its kind of in the middle. I feel like that large chunk of seemingly mundane backstory there just makes this part a little weaker than some of the others.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry






Thank you for your review! :D I like your interpretation of Benedikt.



HarryHardy says...


You're Welcome!! :D



User avatar
375 Reviews


Points: 38346
Reviews: 375

Donate
Wed Oct 06, 2021 4:58 pm
View Likes
RandomTalks wrote a review...



Hey Mailice!

RadomTalks here with a short review!

This was a nice continuation of the previous part. In this chapter we have mostly focused on Claire's world which again makes me wonder what Leonard has been up to.

I will be honest. With the way Claire always blames her father for every misfortune in her life, I had envisioned him as this big bad evil person. However, I quite like the shades you have added to his character, providing us with his perspective as well, so that we get a bigger view of the picture and understand what is going on from each side. At first, I got the impression that Benedikt is quite unorganized in his managements. His movements are often flustered, as is reflected from several instances like him hitting his head against the roof of his car, and he is not as meticulous as I had initially thought. In fact he feels like just another person, just another single father who is caught between providing for his family financially and at the same time, emotionally. He does not know how to do the latter, I have realized. He forgets that he has scheduled a dinner with his son and has no real idea about who Claire is as a person. He is trying hard, but he is looking in all the wrong directions.

I am not really sure what to feel for him. I can understand Claire's anger with him. She has a more independent streak in her and her wild imagination requires freedom. Her father on the hand, controls and dictates her life, which is bound to suffocate any person. I don't think he enjoys doing it though, he just does it without knowing or understanding. I feel that if he devoted some time to his children and actually got to know them and understand their likes and dislikes, they wouldn't face this problem anymore. There wouldn't be this distance between him and his children, and Claire wouldn't have all this anger and resentment to hold on to any longer. Still, the fact that she is moving into his city might call for a new understanding between them. Maybe they will finally sort their relationship out?

I was a little surprised that we got to see a bit of Ernest in this chapter. I am not sure if he has some role in the bigger context of the story or if we are just exploring the setting and the other people of that time. You had a distinct message that I feel you wanted to bring up through his narration - the position of women in their society. While, I got the feeling that he was above such mentalities when we first learned about his roommate, his latter thoughts proved his traditional thinking. I liked the fresh voice that Daphne represented. It was contradictory to Ernest's and it was passionate and reasonable. The line "Men die at the front. Not at home," hit differently with me, and I liked how you have shown us his mentality through just those few words. They hold much deeper meaning and I like how you have highlighted this new and important concept of equality and gender in this chapter.


The aunt was able to reassure him, saying that Claire was away with Emma. She saw the father as the trigger for this silent holiday opportunity and said she would be back.

I noticed that you took a more far off voice in this part, referring to them as 'the aunt' and 'the father', and I was wondering if it had any special significance, because it felt a little out of the blue to me.

That's all!

This was an interesting chapter and it has moved the plot along for some of our characters. Again, I wonder what is going on in the other side.

Keep writing and have a great day!

Until next time! :)






Thank you very much for the review! :D



User avatar
573 Reviews


Points: 43004
Reviews: 573

Donate
Sun Oct 03, 2021 5:05 pm
View Likes
ForeverYoung299 wrote a review...



Hey! Forever here with a review!!

I completely forgot about Bolderich until this point. We saw that he went to a new place for finding work, I wonder where he actually is. We can see how stressed Benedikt is by the fact that he couldn't even recognize the voice of his own son(I don't really know if one could actually recognize voice over a telephone at that time). He is like stressed about his business, family and maybe other things too, who knows. Also, I am a bit curious to know who really called him in the first part. Have gotta remember it, can lead to mysteries.

He actually seems to be quite concerned about Claire and he is not at all like we thought him to be in the first perspective. Like he doesn't even seem to be ambitious which we can see from the fact that he was not ecstatic when he heard of the promotion. He is only a dedicated worker, a bit too dedicated actually.

The main thing which I wonder about in this part is something else and that is the relationship between Claire and Benedikt. On the positive side, Claire seemed to have a hope of settling all the misunderstandings and I guess Benedikt isn't even concerned about all these. On the negative side, Benedikt can be a little picky about the occupation of Claire and if I am not wrong, Claire wouldn't really like that. That can provide further stimulation to the misunderstanding. Also, I wonder if Emma would have any role in it.

This woman, I mean Ernst's room partner seems to he enjoying the freedom given to the women. That's common though, everyone would enjoy their own freedom. I like how you incorporated all those contemporary conditions in the story through your characters. Readers can get a glimpse of that time in a great manner. I like this woman, it would be quite interesting to see her protesting against Benedikt. That can lead Ernst into trouble though. Ernst seems to be a faithful worker to his boss. I am not very sure but Ernst might be a bit patriarchal(I am again not very sure if this is thr right word to describe them) like his boss.

The life of the workers working in this company is definitely not a very easy one. They seem to be quite hard, in fact. I am waiting to see what is gonna happen when all of them meet together. The chapter is going good.

Keep Writing!!

~Forever






Thank you for your review! :D Patriarchal is actually a good description.




Don't be pushed around by the fears in your mind. Be led by the dreams in your heart.
— Roy T. Bennett