Young Writers Society

I liked it. Not much into love poetry and all that milarky(is that how you spell it) But it was short and good. Different from most love poetry as it shows teh hurt instead of the enjoyment and verlasting happiness(which is unreal)

it's a really good poem. but it doesn't look like one. very good!!!!!!!!!1

I think this is a nice little poem. I liked the first half especially: they made me feel like I was in a room where the walls were closing in. Try for a different phrase than "turned me down" just because it's used alot and in such a short poem, seems to take away from the overall effect. But overall, I liked it.

Don't worry, it doesn't matter if it's 4 lines or 24, poetry is whatever you want it to be. Anyways, I really like the first two lines and their sound and the feelings behind them. It's like the feelings of being in the middle of something. Because this is such a short poem, is there another, maybe visual, way you could express "turn me down"? "threw me away" is good as it is because it expresses hurt and some anger and "threw" is an action and is also working as a visual. "turn me down" is more telling and not showing. I think that short poems like this need a lot of sensory details and visuals as much as the author can put in because there's only so much room for those feelings. do you understand what I'm talking about? Oh I hope you do otherwise I might just sound crazy, haha. But other than that, I like this poem a lot. There seems to be a lot of sadness and emotion here, so, good job!