People don't understand why others like me are always plugged into a device and watching something or listening to music or why we get so sucked into it. But do you want to know a secret? Here's why, it's because people like me fantasize about having a normal life and love to dream about a world where there's no arguments, violence, or labels and when we are plugged in, that’s what we are doing, we are dreaming. Dreaming about that life when we aren't labeled "that girl with the issues" or "that boy who tried to kill himself". We are just ourselves and we don't have to worry about what happened yesterday or what's going to happen tomorrow. We are just there in that moment and everybody is free from judging and labels. We are us and we are all friends who understand each other. But then we are pulled out of that fantasy and brought back to the real world and we are told that our dreams are fake and that we will never live a normal life. But we all keep telling ourselves that we can go on and that we will be normal and we will find and get what we want out of life, but I am hanging on, hanging on by a thread and that thread is beginning to rip and everything in my life is getting to heavy to be held by that thread and I am done. I am done just hanging there waiting for someone to come to the ledge and pull me up. Because the truth is that no one is coming and no one will ever come and I will just hang there until that thread breaks and until I fall I will hang there limp, unable to move because of the shame. The shame that I feel for what I have done to my family, to my friends. I have ruined them I have asked too much from them and when I look back I see an evil me one that sucked the life out of my childhood. A girl that kidnapped me and took me to the hospital and therapy centers, and robbed me of the last 10 years of my life that I continue to struggle to get back. But just recently I have decided that those years are gone and I will never get them back. And that I am done trying. I will just wait and fall.
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125,007 Literary Works • 672,815 Reviews
Hey MaggieBray.
This is great and I wouldn't be surprised if you end up expanding on this or incorporating it into a story or something. This is a very serious and emotional subject and I commend you because of that. I found myself emotional from it which is always a good sign (meaning that your reader can become drawn in or connect with your piece). Only a small few grammar/spelling errors so I suggest just rereading. To give you an idea I found:
"...is getting to heavy to be held by..."
It should be:
"...is getting too heavy to be held by..."
and personally I would change:
"...but I am hanging on, hanging on by a thread..."
To:
"...but I am hanging on; hanging on by a thread..."
I just think it works better.
Overall, great job and I look forward to reading more from you.
Good job. Keep writing.
I really like this, snippet perhaps? I really think that is has potential as the start of a great short story. I don't mean to sound cliche with the above statement. I am a young writer as I assume you are also and I really can relate to that character wise. I hope that you continue to add more to this. I know that probably isn't helpful, and I apologize if I am beginning to sound like an English teacher. I really like it and I think that you put a lot of thought into it. My overall review, 4 1/2 out of five stars. Because I find constructive criticism useful, I took off half a star because my English teacher always told me that she never gave 100% because there was always room for improvement somewhere.