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Young Writers Society



The Price of a Soul [Chapter 4.2]

by Mageheart


Last Line(s): He grabbed the top two stapled packets.

“...Which is more than I can say about many,” he added, an almost bitter tone to his voice.

Quinn wiped the tears away with the palms of her hands.

He held one of the packets out to Quinn. After a moment, she took it. Her hands were still shaking a little, but she felt better than when this conversation had started. She tried looking down at the paper. She only got as far as Adam's name; she couldn't focus on reading anything past that. She kept sneaking glances up at Issac as he looked at Gabriel's papers.

He finally caught her looking at him.

“Is something bothering you?” he asked.

She took a deep breath.

“...Yes,” she admitted. “Something is. I...I want to tell you something.”

Issac gave her a tiny nod.

For a moment, she couldn't speak. It was like she had gone mute. She knew the words that she wanted to say – she thought of saving them so many times – but she couldn't force her vocal chords to get them out. It was only when she saw the soft look on Issac's face that some control over them returned to her.

“I'm not straight,” she whispered. “I like girls.”

For a reason she couldn't understand, Issac smiled.

“...I had my suspicions,” he said. He set the file aside when he saw Quinn's eyes widened. She wasn't sure if that revelation made her feel relieved or not. Wasn't it bad if something like that was so obvious? She had thought she had done a better job hiding it. She had tried her best to explain sudden blushes as being too hot. Staring at another girl was just daydreaming taken too far. And the reason she hadn't ever mentioned a crush was because it was hard to get crushes while traveling all the time.

But it was...good, at the same time. It felt like some of the work had been done for her already. She didn't need to explain why she knew she wasn't straight to Issac if he had already picked up on the signs. And after having such an intimate conversation about love, she knew he would be alright with that.

“I saw you looking at Bell's pin,” Issac explained. “And her, in general. The expression on your face was familiar. It was as if you were seeing a potential future for yourself for the first time. You saw someone older than you be much comfortable in their identity and about who they love.”

She stared at him.

Adam's papers were forgotten beside her.

“You sound like you're talking from experience,” she realized. She scooted a little closer to him, green eyes alight. “Are you-Can I even ask...?”

His smile grew.

“I'm also not straight,” he confirmed. Quinn couldn't help but grin. He was like her! Her best friend wasn't straight, either. Her voice wasn't muted anymore. She felt like she could sing or shout or say anything that her heart desired. “I think the best word to describe me would be biromantic. Panromantic also works, if you prefer that.”

“I've seen those words online,” she said. She wasn't entirely sure she had the perfect grasp on them, but she could look them up later. It seemed silly to quiz Issac on his sexuality right now. The room had suddenly came back into focus around her: the beds, the desk, the papers, and the mystery that they were trying to solve. And even though it felt like a gentle but warm flame was burning in her chest now, Quinn knew that she needed to put her attention towards finding the eight.

Terry. Sylvia. Kaia. Percy. Suzanna. Emile. Logan. Adam.

She was going to find them.

She glanced over at Issac.

They were going to find them.

She picked up the papers on Adam again. Even though the packet had several pages, a quick flip through it revealed that there really wasn't much on Adam. He had no living family. He had grown up in a presumably small town in Arizona that Quinn hadn't ever heard of, and had come to this one because he had nowhere else to go. Nolan had made a note in the corner of one of the pages that Adam was happy to work any hours he had available. He didn't even seem to want that much vacation time. With no family commitments and a strong dedication to his work, Adam was the perfect employee.

But Quinn couldn't understand why anyone would ever want a life like his.

It sounded like a miserable existence. She doubted the haunted house paid its employees above the minimum wage. She couldn't understand why someone would be so drawn to it.

“Adam's life seems so...sad,” she finally said.

A flicker of something Quinn couldn't place appeared on Issac's face.

“...Is that so?” he said, in a distant kind of voice that Quinn had never heard him use before. She waited for him to admit what was bothering him – something had to be bothering him if he was using that tone – but he said nothing.

He just handed her the files on Gabriel.

“You should look through this one,” he suggested. He took Adam's files from her. But his eyes were looking somewhere else as he slowly flipped through the pages. She doubted he was taking in a single word on the paper.

She looked down at Gabriel's.

A face that had been hidden underneath Adam's papers stared back at her in the very corner of the page. It was the face belonging to the man from the graveyard and the bus. His smile looked forced; it barely reached his eyes. He hadn't mastered the art of faking happiness in front of a camera. Gabriel was dangerous. She knew that. But the forced smile just made a pit grow in the depths of her stomach. He had seemed so happy talking to his coworkers. Was he really happy back then? Or was it just an act like everything else?

She looked through the papers.

He had twenty-six years instead of Adam's twenty-seven, but their information was almost identical. Instead of a small town in Arizona, he had said during his interview that he had grown up in a small town on the East Coast. He had tried living in the suburbs up north for a few years on his own, but it hadn't worked out. He eventually found his way to this town and the haunted house. He had no living family. He was willing to take as many hours as Nolan wanted him to. And he said that he didn't need vacation time because the haunted house job only last a little over two months.

“Gabriel and Adam's papers are almost identical,” she pointed out. She handed the files over to Issac. “If you look through them both, there's barely any information on either one of them. Is that...Is that normal?”

Issac studied the papers.

Then he let out a sigh.

“There is something I haven't told you about demons,” he admitted.

“...Is it bad?”

He let out another sigh.

“It depends on how you look at it.” He got to his feet. “But I would say that it is. You should grab your hoodie again. If I'm going to tell you about this, we need to be in a place that will help you understand the gravity of it.”


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Sat Sep 19, 2020 12:41 pm
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Valkyria wrote a review...



Next chapter; let's do this!

“Is something bothering you?” he asked.

She took a deep breath.

“...Yes,” she admitted. “Something is. I...I want to tell you something.”


She's going to tell him she's straight, right?

“I'm not straight,” she whispered. “I like girls.”


I knew it.

“I'm also not straight,” he confirmed. Quinn couldn't help but grin. He was like her! Her best friend wasn't straight, either. Her voice wasn't muted anymore. She felt like she could sing or shout or say anything that her heart desired. “I think the best word to describe me would be biromantic. Panromantic also works, if you prefer that.”


Aww, Quinn is so happy she's not alone.

What does biromantic or panromantic mean?

They were going to find them.


Teamwork!

“There is something I haven't told you about demons,” he admitted.

“...Is it bad?”

He let out another sigh.

“It depends on how you look at it.” He got to his feet. “But I would say that it is. You should grab your hoodie again. If I'm going to tell you about this, we need to be in a place that will help you understand the gravity of it.”


So, much like IcyFlame has said, I feel like Quinn is a little too okay with this. They've been traveling together for three years. It's probably for the reader's sake, world-building, and such, but I would like to see more character development. Perhaps Quinn will learn more about defending herself. There is this great article on character development that I think you could look at: Advanced Character Development

Overall, I love this section! We found out more of Issac, and we have something to look forward to.

Lovely read!
Valkyria




Mageheart says...


Thank you for the review!

Aww, Quinn is so happy she's not alone.

What does biromantic or panromantic mean?


Yeah. <3

Anytime there's "romantic" thrown at the end of an orientation, it means that someone has a romantic interest in the gender being mentioned. What Issac is describing is basically the asexual version of bisexual or pansexual (being attracted to two or more genders). He could have said he was ace as well, but I wanted to make it clear that he still can fall in love with people - he just doesn't have any sexual interest in them.

(I'm still a little questioning, but I actually lean towards biromantic - and I usually mention it that way when talking to other people, so I thought Issac would, too. :))

So, much like IcyFlame has said, I feel like Quinn is a little too okay with this. They've been traveling together for three years. It's probably for the reader's sake, world-building, and such, but I would like to see more character development. Perhaps Quinn will learn more about defending herself. There is this great article on character development that I think you could look at: Advanced Character Development


Thanks for the recommendation! After I write this draft, I definitely need to sit down and figure out how I can balance wanting to show the reader this new world through Quinn's eyes, while also making sure Issac doesn't leave her in the dark so much. I do want Quinn to get a confidence boost by the end of the story, but the situation with Issac definitely wasn't what I originally had in mind.

So thank you for bringing it up! It's good knowing what needs addressing when I someday revise this draft, as well as something to make sure I avoid doing in future chapters. <3

Thank you again for your review!



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Wed Sep 09, 2020 9:15 pm
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IcyFlame wrote a review...



Ok, I'm back! Let's keep on going xD

“Is something bothering you?” he asked.

Something more than all the stuff she's just opened up to him about?

She knew the words that she wanted to say – she thought of saving them so many times – but she couldn't force her vocal chords to get them out.

Do you mean she thought of saying ? Otherwise I think I don't follow what you mean with this sentence.

“I'm not straight,” she whispered. “I like girls.”

Oh ok! I actually thought we were steering towards her having some feelings for Issac so I like that you've taken it another way here. I'm never sure how you should bring up something like sexuality in a novel so it's interesting to see how you've done it here. I'm glad Issac is so accepting!

She had tried her best to explain sudden blushes as being too hot.

Hmm, I'd consider removing this sentence - it seems a little forced (:


And even though it felt like a gentle but warm flame was burning in her chest now, Quinn knew that she needed to put her attention towards finding the eight.

Awwh bless her!


“There is something I haven't told you about demons,” he admitted.

“...Is it bad?”

He let out another sigh.

“It depends on how you look at it.” He got to his feet. “But I would say that it is. You should grab your hoodie again. If I'm going to tell you about this, we need to be in a place that will help you understand the gravity of it.”

Oh boy, another thing he hasn't told her... isn't she getting a bit fed up by now? Some best friend if he keeps keeping things from her!

A good section here, though I'm not sure if it would be too heavy if reading the chapter all in one go but that's not something to worry about right now anyway <3 Thanks for the lovely read!

Icy




Mageheart says...


Thank you for your review! :)

Something more than all the stuff she's just opened up to him about?


Yeah. :P

Do you mean she thought of saying ? Otherwise I think I don't follow what you mean with this sentence.


I did! I totally missed that typo, so thanks for catching it. >>

Oh ok! I actually thought we were steering towards her having some feelings for Issac so I like that you've taken it another way here. I'm never sure how you should bring up something like sexuality in a novel so it's interesting to see how you've done it here. I'm glad Issac is so accepting!


Thanks! Her having feelings for Issac is something I never considered because he actually gets a love interest later on but I wanted to make sure it was clear early on that I wasn't planning on going that route.

Oh boy, another thing he hasn't told her... isn't she getting a bit fed up by now? Some best friend if he keeps keeping things from her!


I need to remember that Quinn doesn't know everything I know about Issac and the world so I can have her actually react to that a little better.



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MissGangamash wrote a review...



It makes more sense now that Quinn knew Bell was gay seeing as she is, too. I now get why she was so scared when she had her first crush.

This feels like a young YA novel, so its nice to have this scene this the two main characters discussing their sexuality. For me, I prefer it when it doesn't have to be a discussion - simply that they are who they are, but here it makes sense as Quinn didn't really know what to think about her own feelings. She's still at that stage where she feels a little guilty.

I like that Isaac isn't straight, either. I just think heterosexual demons just seems odd? Like, being straight and gay is a human concept so... why would demons and other supernatural creatures follow these labels? But, at the same time, it does make sense he's labelled himself because he's been on Earth for a long time so he probably had time to search and try to 'define' himself.

Again, this is another nice chapter with the two of them. I feel like their relationship is really starting to form.




Mageheart says...


Thank you for your review!

This feels like a young YA novel, so its nice to have this scene this the two main characters discussing their sexuality.


That's exactly the type of novel I was going for! I feel like my writing is a weird hybrid of more mature YA-style plots, with a more middle grade style of writing. I'm happy to see that the story actually makes sense with whatever you'd call my writing style. :P

For me, I prefer it when it doesn't have to be a discussion - simply that they are who they are, but here it makes sense as Quinn didn't really know what to think about her own feelings. She's still at that stage where she feels a little guilty.


I definitely feel the same way! Some of my favorite times characters have come out of the closet in shows are when it's just straight out stated, but Quinn's never really had the chance to be out and queer. I thought it was important for her to have a conversation with Issac about it, even though this chapter was definitely something I had originally envisioned happening later on in the novel.

I like that Isaac isn't straight, either. I just think heterosexual demons just seems odd? Like, being straight and gay is a human concept so... why would demons and other supernatural creatures follow these labels? But, at the same time, it does make sense he's labelled himself because he's been on Earth for a long time so he probably had time to search and try to 'define' himself.


I agree!

Also, the characters in this novel are very loosely inspired by the characters of Supernatural. I'm not too big of a fan of the show and haven't watched past the sixth season, but my friends are obsessed with it. I also thought there was so much missed potential, so I've been joking that this series is basically me making Destiel canon. :P

He'd be the Castiel of the eventual trio that forms.

(Issac wasn't straight before I watched Supernatural, but I've decided to make his queerness much more obvious from the get-go because I really don't think it's something that needs to be avoided.)




The emperor is rich, but he can't buy another day.
— Chinese Proverb