To little C
I told you so.
One
She looked down, she was either flying over glass, or very smooth water. She studied herself; she wore a pure white dress, and multicolored gems adorned it’s silk-like fabric. Her strawberry blonde hair perfectly cascaded down her back, framing her blue eyes and freckled nose. But most amazingly she saw wings, shining a thousand colors, reminding her of untouched snow. A field of sunflowers. The scent and sight of a rainbow after a long awaited rain. And the welcoming smell of freshly baked pumpkin pie.
*
Alex awoke to the sound of her alarm, she quickly tossed off her blanket, rolled out of bed then hastily made her way across her room to her still beeping clock. After getting dressed in school uniform she quickly brushed her frizzy hair and ate breakfast. Alex rushed down the road and, even then, barely made it to the bus on time.
Alex was the first stop so she had a lot of time to think on the ride. As the almost hour-long bus ride word on, Alex got to thinking about her mother, she had never gotten the chance to meet her, since she died in childbirth on her own birthday, but today would have been her 33rd birthday, and Alex’s 12th birthday, she wondered what her mother was like and what she would have done today.
When she got to school, the halls were overcrowded with zombie-like students all mashed together in the commons. Alex wove her way through them to try to find her best friend and spotted her, hanging out near the snobbiest girls in school. Confused, Alex waved to get her attention. Taylor, seeing her, came over and gave her a side hug. “Happy birthday!”
“Thanks, but not so loud, I don’t want people singing to me in class or anything.”
Taylor sighed and rolled her eyes. “It could be a nice opportunity to have a little popularity for a change.”
“Since when have I cared about popularity, and why were you talking to Ashly and thems peoples?” But Alex didn’t get a response because then the bell rang and the whole student body shoved their way towards home room.
As she was walking back to fifth period after lunch with Taylor, Ashlyn showed up and abruptly stopped right in front of Alex causing them to bump, but Taylor kept walking. Ashlyn and her friends were the most popular girls in school, they wore so much makeup they looked like their faces had fake masks on over top. “Hey Alex!” She sneered, “happy birthday, it’s too bad your mom couldn’t tell it to you.” “Oh, and watch where you're going twerp!” Remarked one of her friends. Then Ashlyn flipped her hair in Alex’s face and they all left snickering. The comment infuriated Alex and she was now fuming as she charged ahead to catch up with Taylor, plowing through people on the way.
“Ashlyn and her goons ran into me and made fun of my mom, I don’t know how they even knew, unless someone told them, and why didn’t you wait for me?” Taylor looked guiltily down for a second then broke off as we walked by her class and rushed inside.
Alex was upset the rest of the day, she had very little sleep and her dad would probably be working all day, not to mention her back started hurting, so as she got home she ran up the stairs and threw herself onto her bed. She thought of her dream kind of wished she had the wings so she could just fly away from reality.
Her father, noticing her rush through the house and up to her room, came upstairs, he peeked in, then came in. He sat himself down next to his crying daughter and put his comforting arm around her, “It was a busy day at the workplace, so I'm sorry I couldn't decorate. But we could still go to the movies. Would you like that?” Then his phone started ringing and he left the room. Alex knew it wasn’t like this, but she always felt like her father chose work over her.
*
The next morning Alex woke and again felt her back throbbing with pain. Though when she checked her back she saw nothing.
Alex sat behind Taylor while a couple seats behind her Ashlyn and one of her friends giggled throughout science, and when Alex dared look back she saw them point at her and make faces. She mostly tried to look at Taylor’s dyed red hair that was cut into eyebrow length bangs she was constantly shaking out of her eyes. Alex normally found this amusing, but not today. Throughout the rest of the day Alex was busy avoiding Ashlyn’s gang and massaging her sore back.
Meanwhile unbeknownst to her, during third period Ashlyn approached Taylor,
“You wanna be popular Taylor? Like us?” She gestured at two of her goons standing behind her.
“Depends?” Taylor responded cautiously but curiously.
“Ya wanna hang with us?”
“Just like that?” She asked
“Taylor, I’m gonna call you Taytay, all you gotta do is embarrass your friend there.”
“You mean Alex? Why?” she said shocked.
“She bumped into me in the hall, plus you won’t need her once you’ve got us around. She’s lame. We wouldn’t want her to end up hanging out with us just because she is confused and still thinks you’re friends. It will be better for her.”
Taylor agreed but had a knot in her stomach just at the thought of having to hurt Alex. It would be better anyway, right?
The next morning was Friday and Alex’s back was hurting bad, but knew it wasn’t worth it to ask her dad if she could stay home since he was gone at work all day and never let her be home alone. He would probably just tell her she was imagining it. “I wish.” Alex thought to herself. So she suffered through school too distracted to see Ashlyn’s group paying Taylor special attention and Taylor nervously speaking to her. So she was glad when she could go home for the weekend and rest.
Two
By Saturday, Alex’s back was still aching, though she told no one. She tried to go through her day normally, but by night it felt as if her back was going to explode! As she lay on her stomach sleep did not come quickly but when it did she seemingly immediately slipped into a dream. Alex was walking down a hallway in school but she looked like an old lady hunched over a cane. As she continued walking a giant tooth sprang out of her back and Ashlyn and her friends came out of the wall laughing at her, Taylor was with them.
Alex woke up confused, but it really did feel like a giant tooth had popped out her back. She looked at her clock, it was 12:36. A.M. She got out of bed and turned on her light, then almost fainted. She looked at her reflection, her nightgown had ripped entirely, and coming out of her back, were the wings she had in her dream on her birthday! I must still be sleeping! She thought. But when she found she could flap them she almost squealed with delight! Her wings were translucent and were designed somewhat like giant dragonfly wings, shining with many colors, each of the colors finely blending into each other, rolling and changing like colors in a soap bubble. She turned slowly to examine them. She couldn’t wait to tell Taylor, If they were real.
*
At first she had been excited to show Taylor but then she realized, how was she even going to be able to go to school? For the rest of the day, Alex thought about ways to conceal her wings, she tried numerous things, one of which really did make her look like a hunchback! But in the end she came up with an idea. She cut two holes in the back of one of the uniform shirts then wrapped her shining wings around her body, although her back still ached a bit, then slipped a sweatshirt over her wings.
Alex got up the courage to talk with Taylor on the way out of school, “Hey Taylor!”
“Hi.”she grumbled, fearing and anticipating what lay ahead.
“You alright?” Alex was suddenly scared something had happened.
“Just tired.”
Alex was too excited to pursue further or to see it when Taylor turned around in the crowded hallway to make sure Ashlyn was watching. Alex bent forward whispering.
“Guess what?!”
“What?” Taylor groaned.
She bent in farther “Last night,”even quieter, “I got wings!”
Taylor saw her opportunity and yelled, “Wow, Alex thinks she’s a fairy!”
Then she looked back at Ashlyn as everyone was laughing at Alex. Alex was shocked for a moment then ran crying out of the school feeling betrayed. Behind her Ashlyn approached Taylor.
“Good job Taytay, you’re one of us.”
After seeing Alex’s face, Taylor wasn’t sure she wanted that anymore.
Three
Alex cried for the whole walk home, how could she do that to me?! I was just being nice and she embarrassed me in front of everyone! I thought she was my friend! What happened! That’s what I get for thinking I could trust her. When she got home Alex ran to her room and cried herself to sleep without any dinner.
When Alex woke up, she was still in a dreamlike state, numb from losing her only good friend, everything felt fake. She looked at the clock, why was it blank? She got up and turned on the light, instead of the school clothes she wore yesterday she wore the pure white dress! The multicolored gems lined her neckline, hem and sleeves. When she turned around she found her neckline curved down her back to allow her wings to freely move. The hem, weighted by the gems, hung just above her bare ankles. She smiled, It was perfect! Then something caught her eye, in place of her drab, wooden door was a white, solid door, also studded with the same precious jewels, a golden handle in place of her metal knob, and even the hinges were seemingly made of gold.
Only for a moment did it flash through Alex's mind that going through this door may mean leaving behind everything she knew now. Then, remembering the events of the last few days she continued on.
Alex approached the door, she put her hand on the handle and pushed down, opening the door to a world of wonder.
*
Alex held her breath as the beautiful door opened and she stepped out onto a pad of soft moss, her bare feet sinking into the flower dotted green. She looked around and spread her arms to soak in the warm, shining sun rays, cutting through the green canopy above, singing birds hidden somewhere in the trees. Suddenly from out among the trees walked a young girl with long brown hair, probably no older than ten, with shining silver and blue wings, and a short summertime dress.
At first Alex was startled, but the place was so serene it was hard to be upset for long, this girl had wings too. Then the girl started speaking. “How did you do that? My names Emily. What’s yours, wanna be friends?”
The girl seemed way to friendly for Alex's world, but, then again, this didn’t seem like her world. She also had an accent of some sort, though Alex didn’t know where from. She couldn’t believe it, she was talking to a real fairy! Probably. “Um, I’m Alex.” She responded hesitantly.
“What brings you to the northern forest?”
What the heck is the northern forest? “I don’t know, I was in my room then the next thing you know it I’m here! Why are you here?” Alex said distracted by the amazement once more.
“I’m here visiting my grandma. I just thought you were invisible or something, that’s high level magic! How far away is your house?”
For the first time Alex noticed she couldn’t see the door leading back.
“I don’t know! I came from Tacoma,” then more hesitantly “do you know where that is?”
Emily looked at Alex with confusion that gradually melted into wonder.
“Yes but you can come to my house for now. We can eat breakfast!”
Only now did Alex realize how hungry she was, she hadn’t eaten since school lunch the previous day! And that hardly counted as food.
The two new friends walked through the sweet smelling forest, they quickly got to a clearing and the cutest little cottage Alex had ever seen.
The house was a little cottage that resembled a giant black and white bubble. The door looked like it took up most of the front! It sat beside a pond with giant lily pads with huge flowers on them.
“Tacoma is on earth right!?”Emily asked.
“Um, Yes?
“But how did you get there?”
“Uh, I was born there?” Alex said forgetting she was talking to a fairy in a seemingly different world. They entered the house and Alex was surprised to find it was huge as a palace on the inside! She looked around and saw a massive kitchen and elaborate dining room on one side of grand golden stairs leading up and down in many directions. When she looked back, the door now looked puny compared to the house beyond. She also briefly saw a piano and plush sitting room to the other side as they walked to the dining room. A maid with tan skin and no wings walked in holding two platters full of what looked like pink, purple, and blue clouds sitting on them.
“But I thought fairy’s were only born here? I heard only humans,” she paused to shudder, “lived over there.” Emily picked up a piece of the stuff on the platters and popped it in her mouth, inviting Alex to do the same. Alex rose her eyebrow at that last comment but popped a small peice in her mouth. When Alex put it in her mouth her mouth exploded with flavor. Before she ate it she expected it to taste like cotton candy, instead the pink stuff tasted like citrus mixed with the distinct taste of marshmallow and when she ate the blue and purple stuff it mixed with the pink to create a taste similar to a watermelon but slightly different.
“Well I thought I was a human until a couple of days ago.”Alex said over a mouthful of what Emily later said was som, a fruit that grew on some of her grandmas trees.
“But how could that be? You have wings.” Emily pointed out.
Their conversation continued, Alex explaining her situation while slowly learning about the fairy world from Emily.
“Wow, that’s amazing,” Emily said, “well for now I can let you stay in one of the guest rooms here, there’s plenty and my grandma won’t mind.”
Emily led Alex up one of the grand staircases and down a hall to a spiral staircase that led up to a door. The door looked as if it was made of the inside of a shell, shining and colorful with a petite light wooden knob that Emily turned and opened.
The room inside was huge and looked to be the top of the house. The ceiling was a glass dome spreading far overhead and to the sides. In the center was a colossal, open clamshell with a cyan bed inside the bottom half, and many other furnishings around the room.
“But on the outside this house looked tiny, how could it be so big?” Alex asked, astonished again.
“I don’t know. My Grandma is a level five fairy, she does all sorts of amazing things!” Emily then went on to describe how you can change the dimness of the glass, explaining the black and white look from the outside. Apparently all the edge rooms had glass like this on the outer walls.
Hours later as she fell asleep Alex finally remembered home. How would she get back? Then again, did she really want to go back? Her father was much too busy with work and she no longer had any friends, maybe this could be her home now. If it was real. Alex also had a deep suspicion it was all a dream. She drifted off into a comfortable dreamless sleep.
Four
The next morning Alex awoke contented to the sound of birds singing in the warm morning rays. She got up and found her gown as spotless as the night before. Alex felt totally serene. She got up and went down the spiral staircase, then down the hall. She started to walk down the soft carpeted grand stairs, until she heard a lighthearted conversation from the sitting room. She playfully crept a little farther along the stairs so she could peek over the rail to spy Emily in a flowing blue dress and what must be her grandmother, a small happy looking lady in a lavender gown and a tall bun of gray hair.
“Don’t worry, she’s really nice, I gave her my old room.” Emily stated.
“That is good,”as her grandmother spoke, her multitude of wrinkles creased in a friendly way. “it has been a while since you have had a friend come over here.”
Alex decided to back away from the rail to the middle of the stairs and walked with her hands clasped in front of her lap. When she got to the bottom she turned toward the sitting room and called “Emily?”
“We’re over here, in the sitting room.”
When Alex walked into the room Emily stood and said happily, “This is my grandma.”
Emily’s grandma stood, her squinting eyes momentarily closed “You may call me Kristine, I insist.” Then Kristine saw her for seemingly the first time and opened her light blue, almost gray, crystalline eyes wide as if parting a sea of wrinkles, then turned back to Emily. “You said she was from earth?”
“Yeah, she said she was born there.” Emily responded nonchalantly. Kristine turned back to Alex.
“I know who you are.”
“You do?”Alex said, confused.
“You do!”Emily said equally confused, shaking out of her calm state, sitting upright and staring at her grandmother.
“You are Annora’s daughter, you must be.”
“What?”Alex said, even more confused. “First, Who is An-nore-a and second, if you're wondering, my dad is not named Annora.”
“Not your dad, your mom.” Emily whispered, her eyes widening with a sudden understanding that Alex didn’t share.
“I never knew my mom.” Alex said with growing in confusion and frustration. “And even if I did, how would you know her, you're a fairy!” she was practically yelling.
Kristine, unfazed, calmly explained. “Annora was a fairy who broke the first law and fell in love with a human. As punishment she had her wings removed, with no kind magic I must say, and was banished to earth. Her magic stripped away. And since then no fairy has been able to get to earth. I was a close friend of hers. She looked just like you.”
The understanding finally came in a wave that crashed over Alex, “So I’m half fairy?” This was why she sprouted wings, why she had came to this world in the first place. And possibly why her dad had never even mentioned her mother’s name. Or maybe he never learned her real name. Or he was just sad like he had told her? And she never knew.
Five
It was a quiet breakfast with Alex trying to process everything she just heard. She absentmindedly ate some orange and yellow som while drinking from a crystal cup filled with an unknown pink liquid. Any conversation was usually Emily, and was typically met with awkward silence. After finishing her breakfast, Alex asked to be excused and went up to her room.
Even when she had sprouted wings she never had thought of her mother being a fairy, not to mention a banished fairy who broke some magical fairy law. She wished more than ever that her mom was here. She could have known what to do. Alex wondered darkly if Emily would still like her. She had shuddered about humans, now at least she knew she was half fairy, but her fairy half was someone who had broken the number one law and had been exiled to earth. Her thoughts were put out of her mind when Emily suddenly burst through Alex’s door, panting.
“Alex, we have to get out of here! There is a huge monster outside! Grandma’s keeping it off for now but we need to go!”
“A monster? There are monsters in this world?”
“I’ll explain later, for now we have to go!”
“Okay!” Alex said while tearing the cyan blanket off her bed and wrapping it around herself and half running half tripping down the stairs after Emily.
When they got outside Alex watched spellbound as Kristine hit a shadowy beast, somewhat resembling a giant wolf, with blast after blast of purple magic, each time the wolf flinched back snarling. But she was awoken from her trance by Emily tugging her into the woods. Alex ran after Emily stealing a glance back at Kristine who retreated to her house to escape the wolf ramming repeatedly into an invisible force field that seemed to surround the house.
Alex turned to see Emily flying into the air, her wings lifting her above the trees. “I don’t know how to fly!” Alex called up at her, afraid Emily would leave her behind. Hearing Alex, Emily looked sympathetically down at her, then flew back down to wear Alex stood.
“Then we run.” Emily said, grasping Alex’s hand again and taking off away from the house.
Even though they were running from a horrifying monster Alex couldn’t help but think: Emily does still care about me. Otherwise she would have flown off and left me behind. Alex’s blanket fluttered behind her, and with the possible surety of a good friend, she ran a little faster.
*
They were grateful for the blanket that night as they lay in the dew-sodden grass of a small clearing. From their little gap in the foliage Alex could see the much brighter fairy stars shining many colors into the dark night. “I didn’t know there were monsters in this world.” Alex said, staring at them.
“Well, that’s the thing. Usually there aren’t,” Emily replied, propping herself up on her elbow as she talked. “We thought the Fairy Armada had taken care of them ages ago. You see from what I know, they have been trapped for a hundred years at the desolate lands. But obviously at least one escaped somehow to attack us.”
After that a long science ensued, and Alex fell into an uneasy sleep. Alex was floating in a gray mist, the only other thing she could see was a dark, hulking shape in the distance. As she squinted to see it more clearly the form started moving, turning to reveal sharp teeth and red eyes. It was the wolf! At the sight of her the beast charged, running with its teeth bared. Alex willed herself to wake up, the beast was almost upon her.
Alex bolted upright. Emily was already awake, and collecting yet another, strange magical fruit for breakfast.
“Good morning.” Emily said, sensing Alex's awakening.
“Oh, um, good morning, Emily”. Alex yawned then, gathering her bearings, strode over to where Emily was standing, surprised to see that there was only one fruit on the entire tree, but when Emily picked it, another one magically grew right back, full sized and all.
They sat on the blanket for breakfast and Alex finally asked a question she had been wondering about all morning. “So what do we do now?” Emily had already thought of that.
“We go southeast to Nylidam, the main city of the fairy world where we can speak with the Fairy Armada. But not before I teach you to fly.”
“To fly!?” Alex couldn't believe it! Even when she watched Emily rise into the sky it never occurred to her that she could probably learn as well.
*
It was all good and well, that is until Emily asked Alex to climb the tallest tree and jump. Now standing in the loftiest bough and looking down, Alex had second thoughts. “Are you positive this is safe Emily?” To which she replied by confidently jumping off the branch and dove towards the ground, lifting up at the last moment and flying back up to where Alex stood.
“It’s way easier than trying to take off on the ground!”
“Whatever you say!” She began getting up her courage, suddenly Emily just pushed her, sending Alex tumbling off the tree.
For a couple of moments shock and terror overwhelmed her before she remembered what she was doing and unfurled her wings, wrenching her upwards into Emily who had dove down to save her. And they both went down in a tumbled heap to the ground, miraculously uninjured.
After scrambling away from Emily, Alex profusely started apologizing to her until Emily held up her hand, silencing Alex.
“No need. I shouldn't have pushed you in the first place.” They both sat there gasping, then laughing, until Emily stood brushing her hands off. “Well, let's try this again.” Hauling herself off the ground Alex followed Emily up the tree realizing that only a week ago her biggest concern was avoiding Ashlyns gang. Now she was running from a bloodthirsty monster, and learning to fly. It was more than enough to laugh, or cry!
They got to the top of the tree once more and again, Alex held her breath as she jumped, this time she spread her wings slowly, right as she started falling. And found herself gliding above many of the smaller trees, then she found that if she moved her wings back, then up again and flapped, she could actually gain altitude! The wind felt good beneath her and though the wings had looked fragile, they supported her weight effortlessly, it was amazing how instinctive it was! Soon she was flying back to where Emily was hovering in the air. It was exhilarating! As she crashed down, laughing, onto a wide branch below Emily, she let out a whoop of joy!
After learning to hover and begin from off the ground, Emily found a way of knotting the cyan blanket so it worked as a backpack which they filled with fruits and a magically refilling canteen of water. Then, with the pack slung across Emily's shoulder, they took off towards Nylidam.
*
As night fell they finally stopped, wings weary from the long flight. And with the promise of an even longer flight ahead Emily magically started a fire, ate some som, and laid down to sleep. Alex again slipped off into a dream.
She was again in the dark mist, but as the wolf charged her she thought she glimpsed a look of desperation in those terrifying red eyes. Alex bolted upright,her forehead wet with sweat. It was still dark out, and as she gazed across the fire she saw that she had woken Emily with her sudden movement.
Bleary-eyed, Emily yawned and stretched as she rose from the ground.
“Are you okay?”
“I don't know,” Alex admitted. “I keep dreaming about that monster attacking me in some sort of mist. It's kind of frightening.” She stared up at the beautiful, starry, desert sky they had slept under. Then, trying to change the mood, Alex asked how long it would take to get to Nylidam.
“Probably two more days if we fly well, speaking of which, we should go right after we eat breakfast.”
As they flew over the landscape it slowly changed from craggy rocks and sand dunes, to grassy fields and orchards of som and other fruits that Alex couldn't recognize. Along with earth fruits such as bright red strawberries and overflowing bushes of blueberries, as well as some more exotic fruits such as pomelos and dragon fruit.
While she was taking this all in Alex saw Emily starting to descend out of her peripheral vision, flying low over the trees. “What are you doing?” She called.
“We’re almost out of som, besides, I am kind of starting to get sick of it.”
Alex, had savored and relished every bite of the fairyland “fruit”, but still she followed Emily down.
Finally Alex, somewhat clumsily, landed near Emily on the luscious green yard in front of a cozy, enchanting farmhouse.
Six
“So are we just going to knock on the door and beg for food?”Alex queried sarcastically.
“No, this is one of my friends, I met her after accidently…crashing onto her roof.”
“What?!” Alex was trying not to laugh. And failing miserably.
“Okay. In my defense I was five and it was my first time flying very far.” Emily's cheeks shining bright red under her tan skin, shining through.
In that moment a petite girl, probably no larger than a fourth grader, stepped out of the farmhouse door, squinted for a moment then yelled out to our landing spot. “Emily?”
“Raelyn!” Emily shouted running towards her, arms outstretched in the fading daylight, Alex following awkwardly.
After a few moments of haven't-seen-your-friend-for-far-too-long, hug, Emily, rosy cheeked once more, seemed to remember Alex standing there.
“Raelyn, this is Alex, my friend. From Earth.”
“Hi.”
“Alex this is my friend…”
“Wait, YOUR FROM EARTH!?”
“Um, yeah?”
“But, how?”
At this point Emily interceded, “It’s a long story and we’ve been flying all day, could we tell it... maybe at dinner?” She said hopefully.
“Of course!” Raelyn said smacking her forehead. “I’ll take you inside.”
Raelyn led the way through the small, but plush house. Instead of couches and wooden chairs, fluffy beanbags and oversized pillows line the walls. Giving the rooms a very homey feel. The main lights were the many windows and the occasional, warm lamp.
Distracted by her surroundings Alex snapped to attention when the chatting friends ahead of her stopped, causing her to almost crash into them.
“And here,” Raelyn proclaimed in the same open-voweled accident that Emily owned, not noticing the stumbling Alex behind her. “ is your room.”
Emily went straight for a beanbag chair in the corner, having been here multiple times, while Alex stared around the room. The whole floor was what felt like a memory foam mattress and the edges were lined with the same furnishings of the rest of the house, the light seemed to come from the walls themselves.
Seeing Alex's amazement Emily said, “You think that's cool? Watch this!” Emily swiped down on the wall behind her and as she did so the light emitted from them dimmed.
Alex sat down on the floor while leaning her back against the pillows. “It’s so strange to think that less than a week ago I was sitting in a classroom, and now I am sitting in the world of fairies with wings on my back.” She whispered, mostly to herself.
“What is it like in the human world, being a human?”
Raelyn, who had gone to get food, burst through the door and with a dramatic flourish exclaimed “HERE IS YOUR MEAL!!!”
Emily clapped and laughed while Alex jumped about ten feet into the air. Raelyn, still trying to hold a platter full of food, almost died laughing.
“Ha, ha,” Alex intoned. “Very funny.”
Raelyn stepped between both of them, still laughing, and sat cross-legged on the cushy floor and set the platter in front of her. “You should have seen your face! Anyway, kill the bird, what brought you here?”
“Kill the bird, what bird?” Alex was very confused, she wasn't going to kill a bird.
“The bird of suspense, you know, you have to kill the bird of suspense and tell your story.” Emily said, as if it was obvious.
“Oh, so like, spill the beans?”Alex replied, not even noticing the sarcasm.
They both just looked at her, then Raelyn turned back to Emily, “So, the bird?”
“What?”
Emily ignored Alex as she started the story, “I was walking in the woods around my grandma's house when I see her,” she said as she jabbed her thumb towards Alex, “step out of thin air into the clearing we used to play in. I went to talk to her and that's when I found out that she was human.”
Now it was Raelyn’s turn to be confused, “Human? But, I mean, she is obviously a fairy, look, she has wings.”
Emily gestured at Alex to explain. “I don't really know either, I was human one day and then my back suddenly started aching then, next thing you know it, I have wings. A couple nights later my bedroom door was replaced by this really cool white door and when I stepped through it, I was in the clearing.”
“I still don't get it, how was she a human, but now is a fairy?”
Emily looked at Alex solemnly, “She is Annora’s daughter.”
Seven
Raelyn apparently still didn't get it, " Annora was still a fairy, so how did Alex not have wings at first?"
"The point is, she came here than the next day, a beast attacked us." Emily replied, finally being able to get to the point.
"Beast? Like, a big racoon or what?"
"What? No, okay you know what? Just, hey Alex, why don't you explain what this beast was."
"Well, um, the beast was kind of a giant, midnight-black wolf with shining, red eyes that tried to kill us and now permanently haunts my dreams."
"Oh. Wait, waitwaitwaitwaitwaitwait, but aren't all the beasts in the desolate lands?"
"That," Emily said, adding emphasis by pointing at Raelyn, "is why we're here, we are stopping by on our way to Nylidam where we will tell the queen and hopefully get the Armada to help defeat the monster. We need to hurry, we just stopped by to get some supplies and food and see if maybe you wanted to join us?"
Raelyn looked down almost shamefully, “I will gladly see if I can get you some food and supplies, but I don’t think that I can stand up to a giant wolf thing.”
At that statement, some of the hope seemed to drain out of Emily’s eye, but she still continued smiling. “Okay then,” she sighed, then continued, still not quite meeting Raelyn’s eye, “We will need some actual packs and more food.”
Raelyn stood and gestured for them to follow her out of the room. “Come follow me out to the fields.” Raelyn and Emily left, leaving Alex momentarily lagging behind, confused on what just went down between them.
Alex followed Raelyn out a back door to the field that they had flown past on the way to Raelyn’s house. As they walked, Alex noted that the crops were grown in nested concentric rings with a path for irrigation in between the rows. Must be maintained by magic to be so perfect. Then, when she looked back ahead she saw the first boy she has seen since leaving her world.
*
Raelyn led them to a boy with dirty blond rustled hair. His eyes were a bright green and he was deeply tanned. He wore a green, leather tunic and pants. His wings were sharp, green, and leaf-like. He had a scythe that he swung onto his back where it stayed between his wings.
“Peter, this is Alex, Emily’s friend. She’s from earth!”
Peter, for his part, was the first fairy Alex had met that didn’t have an immediate reaction to her origin and gracefully bowed, extending his hand and replying, “Pleased to meet your acquaintance Alex, Emily,” he said nodding to Emily then turning to Raelyn, “how can I help?”
“I need you to get some…”
Raelyn never got to finish her sentence as a blaring alarm went off from somewhere above the farm and the sky flashed red. Peter and Raelyn looked around quickly for the source of the alarm before everyone snapped their heads towards a thunderous noise crashing through the crops towards them.
It was the wolf.
Eight
The monster tore through the starts of the farmland, racing towards us, Raelyn yelled, “protect them!” And ran back into the house, Peter immediately leapt up and blasted the beast with some sort of green ray. Alex gasped and the beast looked straight at her, then charged. Emily grabbed Alex’s hand and tried to fly up but couldn’t lift her, she was still gaping at the beast.
“Peter! Come help me lift her, she’s in shock or something.” Peter glanced back at the beast for a moment, who was tearing through their perfect crops, then dove to grab Alex’s other hand. As they lifted her slowly off the ground Alex snapped into focus and tried to beat her wings. The wolf was almost upon them and jumped towards them as they flew barely out of reach. The wolf sat and whined, still looking up at Alex.
“Let’s get out of here!” exclaimed Emily, and together, Emily and Peter still practically dragging Alex, they flew away from the beast and house. The monster followed them, keeping pace and staring up at them. This continued until they reached some woods and the beast lost sight of them. Peter then lead the way to a camouflaged tree house in the canopy.
Opening a hatch at the top of the house, Peter motioned them to go inside. Alex fluttered down and sat on a cushion inside, dazed. Peter took a look at Alex and motioned Emily into another room to talk.
“What’s going on, what was that thing?”
Alex answered, “We think it is some kind of monster, it attacked us at my grandma’s house too.”
“That’s strange, monsters usually just destroy anything around them. This beast seemed totally focused on your friend though. Raelyn said she was from earth?”
“Yeah, she said she just got her wings and was human before, my grandma thinks she is Annora’s daughter.”
Peter just nodded, after thinking a little he asked, “Do you think her coming here is related to the monster?”
“I don’t know, maybe? My plan was just to get to Nylidam and warn the fairy armada.”
They heard Alex scream.
Alex sat up in a cold sweat, Emily and Peter ran out from the other room.
“Alex, are you okay!?”Emily asked, frantically looking around for a possible threat.
“Yeah, I just had another nightmare.”
“Nightmare?” Peter asked, “Tell me about it.”
“Umm, okay. So each night since the thing attacked us, I have had nightmares of the wolf seeing me and running towards me, it’s honestly a little terrifying. The dream progresses a little each night before I wake myself up. I am starting to think the wolf is trying to tell me something. It is just a dream though.””
Peter looked at Emily, then back at Alex. “Alex, how much do you know about when your mother was a fairy?”
Alex shrugged, “Only why she isn’t one anymore.”
Peter looked at Emily again, “Go keep a look out outside, see if it comes close.” Emily flew out the top-hatch and Peter sat cross-legged on the floor, his wings fluttering a little behind him. “I worked in Nylidam last year and had asked a coworker about her.” He said “She was a dreamer, some of the most powerful fairies were. Dreamers sometimes have visions while they sleep, sometimes it is someone reaching out for help, or some sort of warning, but it always helped them know how to act, and if they woke up before seeing the end of the message it repeated each night. Sometimes if they kept ignoring it, multiple dreams would overlap each other then eventually the dreamer would not be able to understand any of them. Some dreamers would go insane…”
Alex had been staring at the ground while he spoke, she looked up at him and furrowed her brow, “So you're saying…” she trailed off.
Peter shook his head, “I am saying that if you inherited your mother’s power, it could be a whole lot more than a nightmare.”
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Good morning! It was an interesting read, so thank you for posting it. Here are some things that worked well for me: You're very descriptive, which helps with this kind of story. I also like how you foreshadow changes that are about to happen.
Here are some things to work on: Be careful about run-ons and clashing phrases. The simplified comma rule is, if you can delete it and it not change the sentence, then put a comma with it. The story also felt a little rushed, so sometimes I felt like I got a little action whiplash. Finally, anytime someone new begins to speak, separate it into a new paragraph. That will help us follow the story a little easier.
Thanks a lot spunkyspacekitty ! That is super helpful. I know I need to lengthen the chapters, that is some really good feedback! What if I do the beginning bit about the character description in the prologue, would that help it out? That dream does need to be in there somewhere since it comes back in later.
It could make a really good prologue! I like that idea.
Thanks
Hi! I'm spunky, and so far, it's really good!
Chapter one-
Glows: Ok, this is a very interesting storyline, and there is a lot of rich imagery. So far so good
Grows: There are a ton of run on sentences. Also, you should try to switch up the length of your sentences, just for variety. Also, starting a story with a description of the protagonist is not the way to go. It loses people's interest right off the bat. Try starting with a hook.
Two-
Glows: Really amazing! This caught me off guard, and surprised me! Also, the I enjoyed the dialogue, and again, the imagery is really good
Grows: Try to lengthen this chapter. If you keep the suspense about what happened to Alex, it would be amazing!
Three-
Glows: Once again, another banger! I did not expect that at all! I can't wait to see where this is going!
Grows: Try to work on your formatting a little bit. At the beginning, when Alex was talking to herself, it should be italicized and in parentheses. And again, like in the last Chapter, I think it could be lengthened for suspense, and so it doesn't feel too rushed
Four-
Same as above
Five-
Glows: This was the best chapter so far! I really like the interaction between Emily and Alex
Grows: I think the part were Emily pushes Alex from the tree would be a good place for a bit of humor.
Six-
Glows: Once again there was very pleasing dialogue, and I liked the humor in it. And the "Kill the bird" part was gold!
Grows: I would suggest adding a bit more of description of Raelyn's home
Seven-
Glows: Ohhh, cliffhanger! That was really awesome cliffhanger! And, again, pretty good dialogue
Grows: None
Eight-
Glows: I just…Oh woah. That was pretty epic. That cliffhanger! I need to know what happens next!
Grows: Same as before
Overall:
This is a really neat and fun and exciting story, but it needs some work. I really enjoyed it! Keep up the good work!
The formatting is weird because I pasted it from a print formatted Google doc.
Yeah, I thought that. It happens to me too.
Hello, Stormblessed here!
Welcome to YWS! Nice to see that you're already reviewing and posting!
In the future I would suggest making multiple posts for this story. It's a lot to read, and the huge spaces between chapters is a bit odd.
Besides a few small things, your spelling and grammar is really good! It makes for smooth reading, and makes reviewers jobs easier, for sure.
Here are a couple things I noticed.
Since this story is written in past tense, this sentence should be written like this: "Alex tried not to laugh. And failed miserably."
I think you meant "Emily," here.
Occasionally when you write dialogue, you miss the space between the quotation mark and the next sentence. If you go over it again carefully, you'll find what I'm talking about.
Other than that, this was really good! I hope to see the next chapter soon!
Hope this helped!
Stormblessed242
Thank you so much! This helps lots.
Heya!!! I know I'm supposed to be talking about this book (I read a bit of it) It's a good novel!!! So anyways I need help because I have no idea how to write a book and I feel kind dumb but yeah how do I write? Nvm I figured it out lol
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sorry I didn't know how this works and I was just trying to get help I won't do it again
hey. this is great. i think the chareters are well rounded. i thought it was nice alex shared her b-day with her mom to. its really nice over all. sorry for the short review tho.
This is the book I have been working on... I am looking for where can I improve, general thoughts about characters and plot etc.