Ok so this is a test book kind of. I want to release chapter by chapter and get feedback on how its doing. I dont want grammaticle mistakes but I do want reviews on storyline goes and how you feel after reading it and so on.
Introduction:
Dr. Corey Riddle brought the unimaginable to reality. He is a scientist that worked on advancing the human brain to a higher level. He tested his experiments on animals of all kinds. He mutated and evolved species so many different times that he made facilities to keep them in so they wouldn’t escape.
Who is Dr. Corey Riddle you may ask. Well he is a very wealthy man who is 38. He inherited his money from his parents when they died. Though he was put into the system because the parents death happened when he was 5 he still did everything he could to forget about them.
Anyways at the year of 2456 he had 50 facilities worldwide that caged thousands of his failed experiments. Why didn't he go to jail? He had money so therefore he had power with the corrupt politicians and bail he could do whatever he wanted to do.
Soon he actually got permission to test his experiments on humans. Thier were 4 groups of humans consisting of a male and a female in each group.
The first group was named Project Alien and as you can probably guess he mutated the man and the woman into a alien looking species. He successfully made the transformation in them but as he was studying them they broke out of the lab and hid from human kind and grew thier race.
The next group was Project Advancement and this project was to make the human brain go to a higher level of thinking. This project was a success and Dr.Riddle put them in a Maximum Security lab for experimentation.
The third group of altered humans was Project Beast which for some ungodly reason Dr.Riddle wanted to make contact with the animal world so to do this he would make a human part animal and hope it would work. He successfully mutated the human and locked them up as he did with group 2.
Finally the fourth group of humans that was recorded was Dr.Riddle’s most gruesome group. He called this Project Manslaughter and the goal was to make giant death machines to which he could sell to the government. This project failed badly and instead of giant death machines he made sly, evil, vampires. This group escaped and hid in dark places of the world.
Now with all of this chaos other countries decided to tell the government that was protecting him to kill him immediately for his gruesome research and practice. The government that protected him decided to keep protecting him for the money and this event caused a global war. The war lasted 35 god awful years and when they were over everything had been destroyed.
Anarchy soon spread like a plague throughout the world and the only form of government was the small groups of beings that formed up.
During this war Dr.Riddle’s containment facilities were all abandoned letting all that they hold escape and become part of the Earth. New species and creatures were now inhabiting the Earth and standard humans had no idea what to do.
The 4 groups eventually became 4 new species and populated the earth. They interacted with each other. Now the world was hundreds of more times diverse than what it was before the Doctor.
The human race, once the most powerful race in the entire world was now fighting for existence.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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This seems like a really interesting book but the time period is a bit weird because by around the 2400s we wouldn't even have to test humans so I would change that.
Also does the doctor die if so then there would no main charater and if he doesn't then you should create a different main character like his son that's around sixteen because that age appeals better to young readers which tend to read fantasy and science fiction which is what you are writing.
Ok thank you in advance and to kind of clear up some things I just used the doctor to create the new species and start the apocalypse other than that in the actual story he has no significance. Now I know how that could be confusing because of the lack of information on the book and I am sorry in advance but basically my intro was just backstory and how my fantasy world got created. Sorry for the confusion and thank you for the review. I hope you read more because I need beta readers. Thank you again
Trust me I will and can you go look at my blog post im a bit stuck.
Of course I did and good luck again!!!
Hi MadMonk.
Have you ever heard of David Eddings? Well, he was a fantasy writer back from the '80s. His best known work is probably the Belgariad if you've ever heard of it. One of Eddings' signature storytelling cheats were his prologues. He would write the history of the world in his prologues to get all the exposition out of the way.
Now, there's another fantastic writer named Patrick Rothfuss, his prologues are useless, and don't necessarily need to be read. They're just about how there are three silences that this old motel is laying in. I don't get it either. But he gets across his worlds history and major events through small little stories-within-stories that create a mesmerizing mythology.
Guess which one you are.
THE FOLLOWUP: Well, in case you haven't guessed, you're Eddings. And while there's nothing wrong with this, couldn't you have opened with something a bit more interesting? Like said vampires stalking our main character at a burger joint? That'd be cool.
But you're the author and know what you're doing better than I.
This is ClackFlip the Mighty saying:
I know nothing Jon Snow. Nothing at all.
Thank you and yeah I know the intro kinda stinks but just as you said I am just getting backstory out of the way. I hope you keep reading because I need beta readers and I promise the story will be more thrilling. Thank you again for the review.