No. 9

Everyone says that the poem is great, they loved it and they described how wonderful it is. Their comments really got me interested in your work and it made want to read it too. So I was wondering why you deleted it although the feed backs were all positive. I would also like to request that you would back again. (Please put it back.)

Wow, this is extremely powerful! I can't put my finger on one thing; the whole poem is amazing. I feel there could be many different interpretations, though, so don't get offended by it. I like how you repeat a lot of the lines, with only one or two changed words- it not only builds emotion but conveys the deep meaning you're trying to show. Great job!

I absolutely, positively loved this. It was amazing, powerful, and moving. I found a few, just a few problems (grammarical mostly) in this poem.

With the strength of the world on my shoulders, maybe a coma for dramatic pause
I ride, with careless resent through the vengeful
night.
A man who's been wronged, can't hardly
be right,
he has already lost, so why should he
fight?

With the strength of my family, my honor,
my pride,
I ride through the sticky and stuffy
night.
As Diana watches with vengeful I like the wording, it helps see an image
delight,
I drive through the misty and murcky might use murky; that's what I got out of this parttwilight.

With the strength of the world on my shoulders
'I'arrive, I don't know but maybe you should put 'I' before 'arrive'
with the hate of the damned inside me I really like this part
I fight.
As the ghosts of the wronged, tell me to Really moving here
do right,
yet I avenge them and leave out through the And here
night.

With the weight of the world off my shoulders
I fly,
I soar through the dew of the spiteful
sunrise!
Before I was wronged and now I am I like this part too
right,
moving fast through the day and putting past
my plight! I liked how you used plight, great way of using varying vocabulary

With the weight of the world on my shoulders
I cry:
"Voices are shouting at me through the Might want to captalize 'voices'
night!"
Shouting things that aren't just wrong or I like the descriptive words in this part
just right-
the ghosts of betrayers and the souls of
the wronged,
the forgotten, loved, hated, and
longed.
The ones who I rode through the night to
defend,
and the ones who I rode through the night to Nice word usage
end.

With the hate of the world on my shoulders I
try,
with the strength of the world on my shoulders I
ride,
with the weight of the world on my shoulders I
cry,
and with the strength of the world off my shoulders I
die... Surprising ending, very good

...with careless resent in the vengeful night.

wow this is a powerful poem. I guess a person has to look at it twice to truly understand what is behind the depth. It is quite emotional and at the same time inspirational. i like it a lot, and find myself very drawn in. Bravo! i feel if the writer can get the reader to feel then that is a job well-done.
my favourite part was:
'A man who's been wronged, can't hardly
be right,
he has already lost, so why should he
fight?'
I don't know what it is about those lines but they touched me. i have no complaints, i just feel this is a poem that narrowminded people may fail to understand because it requires the reader to look beyond normality to fully grasp the meaning behind it all.
Bravo, keep up with the good work. I'll be reading and a comment away.