Published February 5, 2011
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139,534 Literary Works • 672,600 Reviews
Very well done, Bolshevik! I like the format, rhyming, and imagery of this poem! The dialogue does indeed give this poem a rich, powerful effect!
This was my favorite part:
"The sky crusted, the trees fell, our wood bench rotted and broke, the creatures fell ill, and the children sulked home-by night she was the world, and we were alone."
Again, well done!
That really is amazing. The choppy format of it made me hooked. Also, I like the description and dialouge. I really dont have anything to critique, you did a really good job with this.
Well, maybe you could make it a bit longer and linger more on what's going on, if you know what I mean. That's what I would do.
Awwww, this was a lovely poem. I also kind of liked how it was a story format as well, I think that added a lot. Lovely work