Published September 3, 2011
Right? Everyone
judges me while
I’m sleepin’, spewing
lies like concrete webs
unbroken with time
or money.
Spaces command me
into nothing is to be ashamed
of as far as
everything’s solid? Right?
Well, if a cat has 9
lives to spend then
why does it meow when
it’s starving? Outside
my window another
one calls me out but I
just sing, nothing
and sleep. Everyone
judges me while I’m dancin’ but
I’m just dancing –
and I’m just sleeping
in fire; burning
in ice and
savoring sweetness.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
138,417 Literary Works • 672,117 Reviews
This poem was really interesting it was one of those poem where you interpret what it means to you, or that's at least how I read it. I thought it flowed well even though it kind of went off in different directions I was able to enjoy it. I like the comment about a cat with nine lives when why does it meow when it's hungry. I thought that was very creative thinking!
By far my favorite part of the poem, good job on this piece, it will definitely give me things to think about.... *watches my cat*Peace,
Snickerdooly
Hi there!
These four lines are confusing to me. Honestly, I'm not really sure what you meant by this.
Overall this is a good poem. You have a good flow and you used powerful words. You put good emotion into this. I really like the part where you talked about the cats. Good job!
I'm sorry if this wasn't very helpful. Keep writing!
Oh my God, I love this! Your language was absolutely perfect, with great imagery. I liked the part about spinning concrete webs of lies. It was pretty epic. And the line where you ask about why cats care if they starve when they have nine lives was pretty good, too. I didn't really find anything wrong with it, other than maybe that you should try to make the lines more balaned with syllables. Keep up the good work.