Published September 1, 2006
a debutante, a staccato stunt
she tripped over a donkey
a horrifying face, a bland blunt
the ass laughed in mocked affection
her embarrassed face, her exposed smile
the crowd pointed and put in her in a spotlight
her tears were despair, her lips were smeared
society rejected her as trash
but she did not give up, but she did not stop
her dispostion and composure were fleeting
she fought on, she caught on
she discovered liberation in finessing
she stood on stage, her wings were top - notch
her gown was floral and had jewelry
she was musical in performance, so sultry
the cameras said " i want to watch"
the man was fearless, he was proud
his daughter was treasure
the judges gave her first place
for courage and couth stature in a uncomforting position
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139,546 Literary Works • 672,605 Reviews
I love the way this was written but it was kind of vague. I think if I understood what it was about I would have enjoyed it twice as much. Overall, I love the imagery, I could see this having a little more dialogue perhaps, and some of the lines were choppy such as:
she was musical in performance, so sultry
the cameras said " i want to watch
Anyways, good work...I looked at your myspace and you seem like a very interesting person. Welcome to YWS.