Published May 8, 2008
The raven, the tyger
I awoke
in bed I laid
my lips on fire
from bleary dreams I follow
even as she pushed me to sadness
into the bleakest of blunders
outside a parking lot, a liar
I swim away from those garish thoughts
in and out of her embrace
so sweet it was to kiss breast's plunders
those gaunt ghosts, those yellow eyes
beat upon my soul as a new day
beckoned
yet I sank into her pillow
afraid of distant plights
I forgot to forget
the raven perched on my concrete house
shaped like a Roman dome
she crumbles, her raging
it falls apart
I puked a bucket
on her carpet
let loose a small droplet
the sounds we made
of blood and muted
bathtubs and luminous flares
sail above me under the moon
drown me beneath a kafka sip
full of insects, bury me in an open ocean
she was throwing those ravens into my mouth
forced me to drink the shark potion
she tells me I'm convulsing
into a heated conversation with the invisibles
she says my time is up
“hold my hand you deceiver”
“why don't you let me take off your clothes”
naked, I'm wet with sweat
“no more fever” she says
“cool your fears, your sobs
and goblins
rest your head on my chest”
She sways me
cradles me back and forth
a blanket of God's light
and I'm fighting for thirst
submerged....
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I love dense imagery.
But there are a few times within the poems where the tenor of the poem shifts in such a way that the imagery loses its effectiveness. Lines like "I forgot to forget" are unfortunate next to "the raven perched on my concrete house
/ shaped like a Roman dome". Switching to the imperative midstream in "drown me beneath a kafka sip / full of insects, bury me in an open ocean" gives me more of a sense of confusion than profundity. Or again in "she tells me I'm convulsing / into a heated conversation with the invisibles", the imagery is weakened by the "heated conversation" which is euphemistic and cliche.
I really like this poem. Just cut out the weeds among the beautiful imagery and language.