“What they don’t know won’t hurt them.”
But it suffocates me – slowly, quietly.
The secrets. The skeletons. The bruises from battle.
And still, it’s worth it.
So long as they never know.
So long as they never know that Mom tried to fix the home that was cracking beneath our feet.
That I held it together with duct tape and a prayer to a God that I didn’t even believe in.
That the light bill got paid with those same prayers – and pawned jewelry.
That the iSpy games and “missions” to find the milk with the farthest expiration date were just distractions.
Little diversions to soften the sting of what I had to steal to keep the fridge and their stomachs full.
So long as they never know that I cried in parked cars, in the shower, into my pillow every night.
That I rehearsed “we’re fine” until it sounded like a song instead of a scream.
That I said things like, “Daddy does love you,”
When I meant, “He doesn’t even know how. And I’m so, so sorry.”
So long as they don’t know that the bedtime stories are just rewritten truths.
That the monsters in those tales are based on the real ones.
That they are living in a storybook I’m rewriting in real time – in real pain.
That I keep sewing their broken hearts together with tiny pieces of mine.
The ultimate jigsaw puzzle.
But this is not my favorite game.
So long as they never know I choked on every lie I told.
That I still see red on my hands from every package of lunch meat I stole and every fraudulent transaction I committed.
They don’t make soap strong enough to wash it away.
That I made magic out of scarcity.
And love out of scraps.
So long as they don’t hear the silence I’ve stitched beneath our laughter.
That I fought monsters in courtrooms, and wolves just outside – always ready to blow the house down.
That I don’t sleep until the monsters live only in their books, not in our lives.
That I am fighting – every day – to keep them soft in a world that’s hardened me.
But not too soft.
Never too soft.
That I barter my own bones to build the foundation that they dance on.
That I am both the storm – and the shelter.
And they’ll never know.
Because I won’t let it touch them.
Because I love them louder than the world can hurt them.
Because I became the silence where pain should echo.
Because they will never hold what I’ve carried for them.
And they’ll never know.
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139,050 Literary Works • 672,402 Reviews
Hey there, MLanders! This is Alex, dropping by a review. So let's dive right in.
This was such a provoking prose! It's a shame to see you don't publish often, as I instantly feel in love with the way you write. It stirs so many emotions in me, most of them indescribable. I found the title to be particularly fitting for this piece. I like how the work starts with picking it up and moves to explore the devastating effects it has on the protagonist. I found it quite clever that you use only half of the phrase in the title, calling up on the reader to complete it. It's a great tactic to get them involved and interested in your work.
The symbolism of duct tape to depict a temporary and untidy fix to a problem is so unique here. The irony on God, too, is well executed. The horrible situation she finds herself in has killed her faith but she's too desperate to take chances and yearns for support from the universal forces, to make things better anyhow.
It's like the mystery of the bills magically getting paid is accidentally revealed in the narrative, though the satirical tone makes it obvious that it was intentional.
These lines hit cold as the slap of the harsh reality. When someone says they wish to live a life of the books, this is far from what they mean. But it's an overlooked truth - the books villains all have their actual muse.
Such shattering imagery! I love the way it's phrased, makes the pain feel all the more real.
I'm utterly speechless! These are surprisingly deep ideas, one could only come with after one has drowned in suffering.
The mother obviously wants to protect her kids, but doesn't want them to unprepared and breakable if they find themselves in a situation as similiar as hers. A very aching thought.
For some reason, this line was specifically powerful. It's flaunting that no matter how dark the world gets, a mother's love will always triumph.
All in all, a very riveting poetry. I found the format particularly appealing as it's so unique, and yet appears so pleasant. The flow is effortless and I find it's proud in its longer verses and unconventional structure, not trying to fit in the usual mould of writing. It voices the struggle of a mother who takes the lead in her household to keep it from collapsing. She isn't proud of her deeds, but has no choice if she wishes to survive. Despite all bad that she faces, she loves her children and wishes a better life for them. It's very saddening to hear this is inspired from personal events. I'm so sorry, nobody should have to go through such things. I hope you are in a better place in life now and that I get to read more of your great works very soon.
Hello, hello! My name is CATS and I’ll be reviewing this painful and emotional poem I think? Well, never mind that. LETS START!
Omg. I can tell that this is written from the bottom of you’re heart, full of sorrows, pains, and emotion. I love things that are written from someone’s heart, someone that had experienced it sometime. I find it relatable. Some stuff, no one knows but you. I love how you put your emotions into words, so fascinating and tragic. About being free, making choices in life. I think this poem can make people feel like that they are not alone in this world full of pain and sorrows. Thank you so o much. I am so excited to see more!!! Happy Writing!
Love,
CATS