Only a few months into it and I don’t know if I can continue on like this. I don’t know when to shower. I don’t know the last time I ate something that wasn’t soggy or someone’s scraps. Does the crying ever stop? How do I even find time to go to the bathroom? I think my bladder has been full for the last day and a half. Do I just sit on the toilet with him in my arms in an effort to avoid the crying? Is this really what my life has come down to?
They told me he looks like a “good mixture of mommy and daddy.” Perhaps it was the drugs I was under when I heard these sweet nothings minutes after I proceeded to birth a small human that I grew for ten months, but now I am wondering what the hell everyone is thinking. His legs and arms resemble fatty pork chops, his head is slightly cone-shaped thanks to the wonders of the birth canal, he has very little hair, no teeth, and almost resembles an elderly man. I so appreciate the good intentions of such kind words, but he does not resemble either of us. I would go so far as to compare him to what I would imagine a baby alien to look like.
My husband has been back to work since the day after I gave birth to our son. Emphasis on the our. And he expects me to be able to handle this tiny baby alien we’ve willingly brought into our home and care for the children of the corn that were here prior to this alien baby’s arrival. My stepsons are dolls, don’t get me wrong; adorable six and seven year old dolls who are just absolute angels when they are sleeping.
But this baby is mine – flesh of my flesh. I’d never even changed a diaper before the day I gave birth and now I’m left alone, expected to change diapers and feed and not let anything happen to this child. That is a lot of responsibility that I wasn’t fully prepared for when I made this deal with the Devil – that Devil being my husband. Pregnancy planning was so fun and exciting when we were actually in the planning stages. When we realized we were successful it was also exciting. When morning sickness began, my ankles and feet started swelling, and the acid reflux was so bad that I had to sleep sitting up…I did not have any desire to ever become pregnant again.
Don’t get me started on breastfeeding. The pediatrician keeps urging me, “breast is best.” Okay, sir, but it is not your breast that is being attacked and mauled and cracking and bleeding. Words cannot describe the vast amount of pain simply feeding this child has caused me. If I had to choose to go through the pain of childbirth again or go through the pain of breastfeeding, I would gladly give birth again. And again and again and again.
They tell you “sleep when baby sleeps.” Fair enough. But when does the laundry get done? Or the dishes washed? Dinner cooked? Floors swept and mopped? House cleaned? And that’s not even the tip of the iceberg. But guess what: I sleep anyway. The laundry goes from molehill to mountain. The dishes begin to attract flies and insects of all sorts. TV dinner becomes a commodity. The house can clean itself. Because no one else can – and will – take my place. And I sleep. Just because I can and because I can put all of that off for another day.
Who knew that my baby would be one of those dreaded colicky babies? Who knew he would have the most sensitive stomach you could ever imagine? The wailing would start at 5 o’clock in the evening like clock work and wouldn’t stop until his eyes closed and he determined it was time for sleep. Don’t forget that between the screams there is homework to be done with the older heathens as they scream for snacks and insist that 4+3 is 8. 8 o’clock rolls around and the older kids head up to bed, as all the while you wonder when this child is ever going to stop the screaming and let sleep take him. Nothing works – gas drops, gripe water, tummy massages, rockabye baby. Nothing. Maybe an ear infection? One hospital trip later and finally back home at 2am. Diagnosed with colic and severe gas. A wasted trip for something we already knew. But at least he is finally asleep.
4am surprise! He’s awake! Ready to play! How does anybody function like this? I’m literally nodding out as I go to the bathroom. Who knew the toilet could be so comfy? He’s enjoying playing with the empty toilet paper roll as I enjoy the comfy toilet seat and a moment of rest. And then he pulls himself up with his hands on my knees and looks up at me. There it is: “Mama.” And my heart melts. All of the heartache and struggle and pain and exhaustion is gone. Because if it wasn’t clear when I started out this journey with a big ol’ belly, if it wasn’t clear enough when I laid in that hospital bed crying and moaning and pushing and throwing up from the pain of the contractions, it is clear now: I am Mama. I am his world. I am their world. I am the glue that holds it all together when they think it is all falling apart. And I wouldn't change it for anything.
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,857 Reviews
Great job! This story really puts you in the shoes of the mother who is struggling so much with the child. There was only one thing that I would change:
The whole thing has a lot of narration, and it sort of seems like the mother is just telling you what's happening, but not much showing. This might just be the style of the story, and you don't have to change it if you don't want to.
Overall, I really, really enjoyed this story. It had a nice ending that left you feeling satisfied. I can't wait to see more of your writing!
Glue is master race. Anyway, time for a review in this September Review day!!! OK, you describing about caring for a child. And when the baby called her "Mama". You rested, as your his world and glue. There"s some mistakes here, though:
Give a space after the number. For example: 3 am instead of 3am.
Also, it's very impossible for a baby to say a word at a young age, without the parent repeatingly saying it to them. Babies study the parent's mouth while they're saying something.
This was rrrrrreally good! Though, in just my opinion, this was a little too chatty like, it seems more like this was E-mail or something like that. Instead of actual writing. Anyway, Writing good.
Hello there! I'm here to review your piece.
I appreciate the rawness of the story. I've heard from many mothers that carrying and birthing a child is rewarding, but it's an overwhelming life changer. As you point out in your story, there's the hormones all over the place, the constant stress, the responsibility of taking care of a baby that can't take care of itself. You do a nice job of balancing the emotions, and what I would call facts/real life experiences in this piece.
There are a few nitpicks I'd like to explain below, and this is all completely subjective. You can choose to take it or leave it, but I hope you consider some of my advice
"Perhaps it was the drugs I was under when I heard these sweet nothings minutes after I proceeded to birth a small human that I grew for ten months..."
I would change the part that says "...that I grew for ten months" to "that grew inside of me for ten months." It makes more sense this way because the baby grew itself inside of you, rather than you grew the baby. (Then again, I don't know a whole lot about babies, so tell me if I'm out of line here ha ha, but I thought the baby grows and grows inside the womb over those nine months.)
"But this baby is mine – flesh of my flesh."
Try to avoid using prepositions in the beginning of a sentence. Typically, I'm pretty lenient with this rule if using "but" adds a special effect. You would also have to add a comma after "but" if you were to keep it. In this instance it's fairly easy to remove "but," and change it to "This baby is mine though- flesh of my flesh."
I notice you use prepositions in several other places to start your sentences. Try to change up a few of them, and if you choose to keep them, please remember to use a comma directly after the preposition. Example: "Because, I wanted to..." or "But, that was it," in most cases.
"That is a lot of responsibility that I wasn’t fully prepared for when I made this deal with the Devil – that Devil being my husband."
So I would change the wording around in this to: "This is a massive responsibility that I wasn't fully prepared for..." I wouldn't use "a lot," there are so many other choices you can make there
"Pregnancy planning was so fun and exciting when we were actually in the planning stages." I would cut out the "actually" here. It doesn't serve much of a purpose, and it sounds smoother without it.
"When we realized we were successful it was also exciting." You need a comma after "successful," like this: "When we realized we were successful, it was also exciting."
"Don’t get me started on breastfeeding. The pediatrician keeps urging me, “breast is best.” Okay, sir, but it is not your breast that is being attacked and mauled and cracking and bleeding. "
This line made me a laugh out loud! What wonderful sarcasm and humor here.
"The laundry goes from molehill to mountain." I really like this metaphor!
"Don’t forget that between the screams there is homework to be done with the older heathens as they scream for snacks and insist that 4+3 is 8." Ha ha, I love this!
"I am his world. I am their world. I am the glue that holds it all together when they think it is all falling apart. And I wouldn't change it for anything."
What a perfect ending. This creates a wonderful effect, and it's inspiring. The only thing I would change is instead of the last two sentences being separate, just combine them. So, instead: "...when they think it is all falling apart, and I wouldn't change it for anything."
I'm not even sure you need the "...and I wouldn't change it for anything." You could probably cut this out if you desire to do so, because it creates a more dramatic, long-lasting effect.
Don't get hung up on my nitpicks, because everything besides the little nitpicks, I absolutely loved! The metaphors you use are great, the way you describe raising a baby is right on point. It makes the story so human and so relatable. It really opens up your eyes to the fact that motherhood isn't all fun and games, but at the end of the day, it's well worth it.
Great job, and happy writing!
Kali Lennon
Hello there! Marde here to make a review (which, by the way, happy review day!)!
To start off, I love this piece. I love how you managed to transmit so much emotion and feelings through only this character that just months ago gave birth. This story is really detailed and very well constructed. I love how you could portrait that exhaustion and frustration on this literary work. Makes me wonder if you've actually been with someone who's going through this situation, because you make it feel as if it was literally you. I'm not kidding when I say this piece is one of the best I've read since ever. I really hope to find more like this.
However, I have some critiques I'd like to point out.
In the first paragraph, I was a bit confused. I couldn't pin point what was going on. I thought the character was the one crying. Sat down with HIM on the toilet, who's him? I couldn't really get it was a baby she was talking about. And maybe that was done on purpose but if you don't give a clue at first people might have to end up re-reading the first few paragraphs.
Then again, the first sentence of the second paragraph also sent me in a frenzie. Who looked like both of them? The only thing that kept me from thinking it was about the bladder was the fact that it said 'he' and not 'it', but I was still wondering.
When it was finally named that it was a baby the character spoke about then everything just seemed blurry, so I re-read it. Then it all made sense and I could fully enjoy this piece.
Those are the only points I'd have to make because otherwise this piece is genius! Just make sure to hint a bit more clearly 'baby' so readers won't get as lost.
Once again, I TRULY enjoyed this literary work. I hope to catch more from you! Keep up the good work!
~Marde!
Dear MLanders, I must say, this is an interesting take on the traditional story of motherhood. You bring a sense of realism and the actual world to a picture that is most often shown as "sacred" or "magical". This is kind of amusing, and I love your vivid use of imagery, but you might want to clear a few things up. In the begginning of the story, when you talk of "drugs" that she was using during the birth, you might wish to switch the word to pain killers or medications instead. If you aren't reading carefully, you kind of give the beginning of the story an air of " drug doing mother who is stuck with an awful husband, has no real food, and whose life just got pulled another step lower into her own personal H E double toothpicks." You might want to clarify with the "mushy, already cooked food" and the "house is pretty much a pile of poop" ideas, because I am pretty sure that, while you want this story to be of a mother living with a new baby and is suffering through every step just to find out why people have kids, you do NOT want this a tale of a mother dealing with a drug /abusive husband/definitely don't want this thing induced baby. Sorry if my grammer is off or if I use too many run-on sentences. Also, in the sentence, "All of the heart ache and struggle and pain and exhaustion is gone." you should use commas instead of all those 'ands'. Proper grammer, you know? Proper grammer for the sentence "...big ol' belly...", as well. Old should be spelled out. Other than that, and the bit of clarifying you need to do, this story is amazing! I can practically see everything you describe! Overall, I think you are an amazing author, and this piece shows it! I hope to see more of you soon. ^\/^ Good luck!