I can only see
How wonderful
The world is
When you’re here
You show me the sun
Paint me a rainbow
With your hands
So gentle and soft
You tell me
How the birds chirp
But my favourite song
Of all of these
Is the song you sing
With your eyes
So deep so alive
Can I tell everybody
I’m in love
I feel like dancing
Like a little girl
Dressed like a ballerina
You would laugh at me
With a laughter so soft
As a waterfall
In the night
When the lions roar
You’ll lay next to me
Keeping me safe
And I’ll feel like a lioness
Being with the king
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,020 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Okay, first off, don't post a bunch of poems at once. Even if you did the prerequisite reviews, it's really annoying and is a surefire way to get less reviews.
Now as for the poem itself, I liked it, but I definitely think it could benefit from some stanza separation and punctuation. It helps the reader figure out which ideas fit together and how the poem flows. I'll let you decide where to put that. Just put punctuation where you'd put it in prose.
Other than that, I thought it was pretty good. Keep writing (just don't post it all at once)!:mrgreen: