What stood out to me wasn't the capital at the beginning of every line (although that's not really good either) but the comma at the end of every line. Like capitalization, punctuation in poetry usually works best if you put it where you would in prose (paragraph-style writing).
There were also some places where the flow was disrupted by poor wording.
And then you tell,
You couldn’t have made it through,
If not for the support,
But one thing do I know,
You had made it on your own!
Here's how I would've worded/punctuated this:
And then you say,
that you couldn’t have made it through,
Without the support,
But I know that you
had done it on your own.
I'd also caution against exclamation points in poetry. The words should carry the intense emotion on their own without a special mark.
Overall, I liked this better than your other poems that I've read. It's original and has some interesting imagery. It just needs some re-structuring. Keep writing!
Points: 35774
Reviews: 1274
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