What are we to do now, sir?” Thomas asked.
“Well, we are to order the cooks to prepare a feast for tonight, of course. What else?”
“You mean to let her believe that I am really her reincarnated son?”
“Thomas, it will do no harm to anyone if she believes that I have raised our son from the dead, but it will permanently harm our relationship if I tell her the truth. It’s best just to play along with it. This charade will die eventually.”
Thomas couldn’t believe his ears. The king would let his wife believe such nonsense?
“Sir, I don’t mean to be disrespectful, but it seems that even if the queen would be happier if she believed this lie, doesn’t she have a right to the truth?”
“Yes, she does, and we will not lie to her. If you’ll remember, I tried to tell her that you were just our son’s lookalike. If she would ask or even hint at it, I would tell her the truth. I just refuse to directly persuade her, seeing as there is no real benefit.”
“Very well, sir,” Thomas sighed. “I suppose I’ll be on my way.”
“Where are you going?”
“To try and find work in the town so I can find my way back home.”
“No, Thomas. You will stay here until my wife forgets about you, or by the morning a dozen search parties will be out looking for you.”
“But-“
“That’s an order, Thomas. You may not be from our land, but while you are in my castle and my land, you will obey me.”
Thomas sighed and heaved his shoulders. “What shall I do in the meantime?”
“I will have a servant take you to a room, and there you can get dressed for dinner and read a book or whatever you do where you’re from.”
“Thank you, sir.”
The king nodded and waved to a nearby servant. The poor man hurried over and swept a hasty bow. “How may I be of service, my king?” he asked.
“Find an empty room for this boy to stay in. Make sure it is the best our castle has to offer—actually, put him in Maurice’s old room.”
“But, sir, didn’t your wife order that room to be kept vacant in reverence of your son?”
“My wife is of no concern to you. Follow my orders, or deal with the consequences.”
Once again, Thomas saw that angry flash in the king’s eye, and the servant appeared to notice it to, for his face went pale and he bowed again. “As you wish, my king.”
The servant led Thomas down a series of winding hallways and did not stop his hasty pace until they had gone at least a quarter of a mile in the labyrinth of bedrooms. He then opened a door and led Thomas into a spacious bedroom.
“You can stay here until suppertime, just make sure you are properly dressed when the king calls you.”
“What does properly dressed mean?” Thomas asked.
The servant took a step back. “You don’t know?”
“No,” Thomas admitted.
“Well, I’ll send someone up to help you an hour or so before the king would like to eat. Until then, you can look at some of the maps or history books that Maurice kept in his room. Perhaps it will help you gain a better understanding of our culture. And remember above all, if the king tells you to do something, no matter how strange, do it.”
Thomas found this to be strange advice, but nodded. “Thank you.”
“If you need anything, ring this bell, and someone will be with you immediately.” The servant pointed to a bell near the bed, and Thomas nodded again.
“Very well, then. I have some other business to attend to, so if you do not require my presence any longer, I shall be going.”
“Okay. Bye,” Thomas called. The servant half-ran out of the room and closed the door behind him, leaving Thomas alone in the bedroom.
Thomas walked over to one of the large bookshelves near the bed and selected a thick, leather-bound volume. Golden letters across the cover read “A Comprehensive History of All Occurrences in the Land of Moonlight”, and Thomas shook his head as he leafed through the pages. There had to be at least 500 pages with writing so small he could barely see it, and he only had an hour. He moved down a row and drew out another book, this one a little slimmer. The cover proclaimed “A Brief History of the Land of Moonlight,” and Thomas nodded. This would be the best one he could find.
Reclining on the bed, he kicked off his shoes and rolled under the covers. Once he was situated, he opening the book and starting to read. He got lost in the text for an hour, skimming long articles about the various wars that the Land of Moonlight had been involved in, and long essays on why the kings had been either foolish or brave, stupid or wise. By his count, the Land of Moonlight had been involved in a war for 267 out of the past 300 years, although some of those years had seen more fighting than others, which had been mostly skirmishes and collisions with more hostie nations.
One thing that the book lacked was information on current events. This book had been published a long time ago, roughly 15 years, and Thomas was looking through some other books in a desperate attempt to find more information on the war that was going on right now when he heard a knock at the door.
“Come in,” he called.
A tall, balding man with bushy black eyebrows stepped into the room and closed the door. “I hope I did not disturb you, Your Highness.”
“Oh, no, and you can call me Thomas.”
The man shook his head. “No, Your Highness, I am under direct orders to refer to you as I would refer to the prince.”
“Well, then, what may I call you?” Thomas asked.
The man hesitated, taken aback by the question. “My name is Rebo, Your Highness.”
“What does the king wish me to do?” Thomas asked, trying to mimic the way everyone here spoke.
Rebo nodded with approval. “You are to get ready for the fancy dinner tonight being held in your honor. The queen believes that you are a gift from the gods, since the gods believe they have been too hard on her by taking her son.”
“What do you think?” Thomas asked.
Once again, Rebo flinched at the personal question. Thomas got the impression that he wasn’t used to royalty inquiring about his personal views. “What I believe is of little concern to you, Your Highness, with all due respect,” he answered carefully.
Thomas raised an eyebrow, but didn’t press the matter. He walked over to the wardrobe and opened it up, revealing at least 20 different tunics and brown leggings.
“The king wishes for you to wear a blue tunic with a gold sash, brown leggings, and peasant sandals,” Rebo recited.
Thomas took a soft blue tunic off of one of the hangers and pulled off his shirt. Rebo respectfully turned away, and Thomas yanked the soft material over his head and wriggled his head and arms through the appropriate holes.
Rebo turned back around and helped straighten it out, then handed Thomas some fancy brown leggings. Thomas pulled off his shorts and underpants and awkwardly hopped into the skinny pant legs, pulling them up to his navel.
Rebo threaded a shimmery gold sash through the loopholes near Thomas’ waist and pulled it tight, knotting it into a bow in the back.
“Is it too tight, Your Highness?” he asked.
Thomas shook his head no. Rebo nodded and stepped backwards, handing Thomas a pair of leather sandals.
Thomas sat down on his bed and struggled with the unyielding leather for a few minutes, trying to maneuver his thick toes through the straps and attempting to loosen the leather straps to no avail. He eventually gave up and looked up at Rebo.
“Would you like assistance, Your Highness?” Rebo asked, fighting back a smirk.
“Yes, please,” Thomas replied, flushing.
Rebo knelt down and fussed with the straps for only a moment before sliding it onto Thomas’ foot, then repeating the process with the other one. Thomas stood up and used his fingers to brush his hair back.
Rebo offered him a comb, and Thomas gratefully accepted it and ran it through his hair, parting it down the middle like his mother did.
At even the thought of his family, Thomas had to struggle not to break down in tears. He inhaled, counted to three as he had been taught, then exhaled and repeated the process until the tears had dried up.
“Is something wrong, Your Highness?” Rebo asked, looking concerned.
Thomas quickly shook his head and looked down so Rebo wouldn’t see the tears in his eyes. “No, I’m fine,” he said, choking on the last word.
“I assure you that if you need anything, we have it,” Rebo promised.
No you don’t, Thomas thought. You don’t have my parents, or my home, or my friends, or my phone. But he simply said, “Thank you, Rebo. If you don’t mind, I just need a moment alone, then I will be downstairs.”
“Of course, Your Highness. I will wait out in the hallway.” Rebo bowed and quickly walked out of the room, closing the door behind him.
Thomas sank onto the bed and started to cry freely. All the pressure of the past few hours built up on him, and he started to sob. He wasn’t ready for this. He needed to be studying. Nobody would believe him when he got home. He had no way of proving that he was here, and he would fail the SATs. His parents were right. He was a failure, just like his brother, and he would probably waste away in a jail for most of his life because he couldn’t control himself enough.
The only reason he was here was because of some delusional queen and her husband who didn’t have the courage to break the news to her. He had probably married her for the alliance, or wealth, or beauty.
It was such a failed system, and Thomas couldn’t’ do anything about it. He couldn’t even persuade people that what they were doing was wrong. He really was a useless prop, just there for the queen’s contentment.
He steadied himself a little and took a few shaky breaths. The king would be counting on him to play along with the act, and judging by the fear all the other servants showed him, it would be better for everyone if Thomas just went along with it. He didn’t really have a choice. He was a prisoner in this castle, and his sentence might be life.
Rebo knocked on the door. Thomas dried his tears and then went up and answered the door. Rebo saw him and didn’t ask any questions, but he did lead Thomas to a bathroom and scrubbed Thomas’ face clean.
“Are you ready, Your Highness?” Rebo asked.
Thomas nodded, not trusting his voice yet. He followed Rebo down a grand flight of stairs and walked into the large dining hall, where men and women dressed in fancy clothing were seated at a long table.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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Hello, MJTucker! It’s Kara here for a (hopefully) quick review!
Give me your soul.I'm still sorry about misgendering you XD I'm so stupid XD
With that aside...
STOP! Grammar time!
This isn't really grammar, but remove "actually," as it seems too laid back for a king.
Again, not really grammar, but this is too laid back for a servant.
Pointing out a typo.
Should be "Thomas's."
Wanted to point out the typo.
Suggestions:
They didn't really have books in medieval times. More likely they had scribes who wrote in scrolls, if I remember my history correctly
which I probably don't.This doesn't sound like a king would say this either. It's too laid back.Instead of the actual numbers, write them out.
Confusing things:
This does not sound like a king said this.
Why would he nod?
Other comments, reactions, and fangirling:
PFFT his phone.
Overall:
A few grammar issues and realism issues, but otherwise this got me hooked and I thoroughly enjoyed it
Give me your soul --
Kara
Hey, it's me again in the quest of rescuing as much pieces as I could from the nasty Green Room.
This sentence is supposed to be threatening, but it humours because I don't imagine it to be voiced with a serious tone. It's more like someone sassy would say, but I guess I imagine it because the king can be sassy. xD
Poor guy. Does this mean even his parents didn't teach him how to dress properly? It does make me question what kind of environment did he have to deny him such knowledge about the manner of dressing.
Wow, the Land of Moonlight likes to pick an enemy. The number of wars it has almost make it the ratio to be one war per year. It doesn't seem like the Land can hold peace that long, and really, what makes it a target by others? This number is quite exaggerating and unbelievable, if you ask me. And it currently has war also, oh dear.
Is it possible for Thomas to come from a modern timeline? O.o Or he just doesn't know how to speak formally. As I read further, I think he does come from the present, given how he mentions his phone. Maybe I should read earlier chapters to confirm this.
Urgh, I think I ship Rebo and Thomas. They have instant chemistry with how Rebo's hinting to be a teasing, helpful friend and Thomas being the innocent, naive one. If you're planning a love interest for Thomas, I recommend Rebo. I think they're going to be a cute couple. #diversity
Thomas breaks down fast. It's quite a surprise seeing he presents himself as a calm person with no trouble to care in the world. I'm not sure how I feel about it. I think it's something out of nowhere. Instead of delivering his breakdown all in this one instant, it might be good to stop after Rebo leaves. Right now, Thomas hasn't confronted with a scenario sad enough to bring him back the memories of his family and friends and force him to break down.
Urgh, so cute. #ReMas <3
And that is all! Keep up the good job!
So many chapters! I'll have a lot to review.
You prob memorized this but here again anyways:
Key:
My comments will be in red
My suggestions to add something will be in green
My suggestions to remove something will have a strikethroughRandom comments that you can ignore or laugh at
Spoiler
Whew, that was long. I wonder if Thomas will ever get back home... Hopefully my review helped!
Thanks for the review LittleBird! Your notes were very helpful, so thank you for your time, and have a nice day
hahah lol wrong timezone XD. It's night here. I will be going to sleep soon lol. I'll review your other chapters tomorrow since I'm tired from all the reviewing today. (I think I did like 6 reviews total today, each one of the with at least 1000 words).
no problem haha. Have a nice night, and I'll see you in the morning! Once again, thanks for all the reviews