Published June 10, 2011
Enjoy ![]()
Take films, popcorn plus
addictive sugary sweets
add blankets and friends.
Minus sleeping and
parents, times by fun to make
movie marathons.
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Short and sweet: this was a really cute piece and I enjoyed the youthful (and somewhat snarky) themes contained in it! The part about sleeping made me laugh; ahhhh, the good old days of all nighters and seeing who could stay up until the next morning. I loved this. Good job
Oh karzkin...always on the lookout for "haiku"
Anyway, I thought these were nice. I'm not a fan of movie marathons (I'm prone to headaches) but I appreciated these nonetheless. Nice and light and fun! You should write some more of these to give us all a laugh. Also, loving your signature! Nice work!
Sare
This is a nice little pair of senryu. However, they are not haiku. You might like to have a look at this: It is a crash course in writing haiku and senryu, written as a collection of senryu. Please, please learn what a haiku is, and what a haiku isn't. This might also help.
So, these are good senryu. The only thing I'd change is the description.