Published December 10, 2010
Bear with me guys, I'm new to this. I'm not even sure if I am posting it in the right area! Haha
It's rather short, but fitting for my first posting I think.
Reverberated.
The walls echoing
sweet nothings,
Fantasies never to be
fulfilled or justified
bouncing back at me --
A mere mockery.
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Canary word: Present
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140,565 Literary Works • 673,441 Reviews
wow this is good x
Absolutely love this. Only suggestion is to add some imagery. Setting helps define atmosphere. Otherwise, awesome. I *Like* it (Next to where it says Like on YWS, one of those is mine).
This is so cool, I like how it subtly rhymes. It's got nice descriptions too. Be proud
Keep writing,
Alzora
This is very short and sweet, quite a cute poem I have no corrections to make. I hope you keep writing poems as there is something there that you could make into maybe a longer poem although I have no problem with short poems sometimes you feel more fulfilled reading a longer poem!
Pretty cool poem, the shortest I have seen. It is a really good first entry too! When I read it again, I imagine the poem itself echoing in my head. Although I had to reread it in mid sentence a few time to get it due to the lack of pauses, but that is not really important after you are done reading the whole thing. No corrections from me.
Very nice!