Published December 14, 2010
Been quite down lately, it's a faithful poem, but I encourage those who are not to read. Not all Christians think the same way or feel the same way. Heck, I swear like a sailor. I have friends who are Jewish, friends who are Muslim, friends who are Hindu, and friends who don't believe in anything at all. I just try to be the best person I can, and I know I haven't lately. This poem is in honor of that..
Call on me in the morning God,
When the world has not yet invaded
The corners of my mind.
Do not look on me in the day Father,
For my mouth drips of sin,
And my heart swells in selfishness.
Do not see me in the evening Spirit,
For my soul breathes shallow,
And my mind is numb.
Do not visit me at noon Jesus,
For my stomach only hungers for food,
And thirsts for the impure.
Do not gaze at me in the night Lord,
For my bloodshot eyes will not open,
And my ears will not hear Your word.
Call on me in the morning God,
When dawn breaks
And I gaze up at You,
So we may see eye to eye.
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140,565 Literary Works • 673,441 Reviews
MAN! this poem is good. not unlike all your other poems, it entrances me!
Your creativeness is really intriguing, your obviously very talented and poetry is something i'd definitely recommend pursuing (: As always please write more
Hi there,
I really love the cadence of this poem. It flows beautifully from one petition to the next. Also, the theme is vulnerable and soft and I love it. A lot. The images are great, the parallel structure is nice, I like how you change the opening line of each stanza, and the amount of detail in each line is just right. The only line that strikes me as awkward from a literary perspective follows:
Grammatically, it would be "my soul breathes shallowly," but that sounds awkward, so maybe just play around with it a little more.
Thank you for sharing this piece. It's very beautiful.
I love this poem. I'm not really good with poems and poem writing so I can't really give you a review with out a good knowledge. In truth, I think it's fine. :]
In my mind, I love the way it doesn't point one person or section of people even thought it is first person. I believe it points to the entire public in a way that says not everyone is perfect and we are all sinful sometimes even we we don't mean to be. I not sure if I have the wrong idea about it, but I just love to read this poem over and over. Great job and I can promise you you'll pull yourself out of the hole you're in. Feel better and think of a happy past.