he knows the lines that trace the earth
as well as the pattern of his veins in his wrist.
but he does not see the blood that flows within.
he has never taken in the rush,
never seen the people that dance and sing,
but simply as the ink bleeds on the paper.
~
he speaks to me in a low voice,
fizzling out the distance between us.
he tells me things no one else does,
or things i never believed before about myself.
i write about how he encapsulates warmth,
and now i feel the blood pulsing beneath my skin.
yet i still fear touch.
i swoon at him only in the interim,
a time spent clotting wounds,
and imagining something.
~
somehow he does not make me feel
like i am his,
like a mirthless possession of permanence.
we both belong to no one,
but we are tethered to each other like orbiting planets.
i still cannot read what is beneath the skin,
although he appears to bleed everything to me.
i fear he will not absorb my sanguineous soliloquies,
and think only of the outlines of land masses.
~
but despite my skepticism,
i know there is vitality in the stream.
all my rivers lead to him,
and there the lake ripples.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
Hello there! It's catsz here to drop by and leave a review for review day! Let's dive straight into it!
When we are young, we don't know what blood is, and we've never gotten hurt or experienced pain ever. I hope it stays that way <33
You expressed it in a way no one else can, so unique and full of detailed imagery. He had never experienced the rush of life, the beeping of cars, the danger outside the cozy, safe home.
It's good for daughters and sons to feel comfortable talking to parents, as of later, they would be comfortable as well.
The "sanguineous soliloquies" i had to search up ToT
The vocabulary you chose is clever and thought provoking.
All the joy leads to him, because you find joy in your own son. The comparison of the bond between mother and son to rivers and lakes is very creative. It triggers lots of heartwarming emotions and joy. They grow up really fast so enjoy the time xD
Overall this was such a heartwarming poem to read, and it lit up my day. Thank you so much for sharing and I look forward to more!
Happy Writing and Happy Reviewing!
~catsz
Thank you for the review!
Good morning!
because that is the most fascinating aspect of it all, no? To hear the opinion of someone so dear and know what they think!Review Day is nearly upon us but that is no reason to shirk regular reviews and this is why I’m here!
Summary already sounds very wholesome ^^
I like the theme running through the poem and how it radiates love in every line, even when it sometimes is tinted with sadness or hesitancy. Like the lines about fearing the touch and not quite feeling like you’re his. It feels all very understandable, and especially with the “we both belong to no one”, even commendable. It kinda reads as if something happened in the past that made you afraid, maybe of losing someone, or maybe of being rejected, and you’re slowly healing from that. At least that’s what I interpret into the “clotting wounds” phrasing 😊
I especially like these lines:
Join the fight! Write more reviews!
Thank you for the review!
I truly enjoyed the imagery woven throughout this poem. From the very first lines, the language pulled me in and invited me to sit inside the moments you created. Every image felt intentional, vivid, and emotionally alive, as if each word was placed with care and trust in the reader to feel what you felt. The way you transformed emotion into scenes made the poem not just something to read, but something to experience.
What stood out most to me was how naturally the poem flowed. Nothing felt forced or rushed. The rhythm carried the emotion gently, allowing each image time to breathe before moving on to the next. It felt like being guided through memories or feelings rather than simply being told about them. That kind of flow takes real skill, and it shows how deeply connected you are to both your words and the story you’re telling.
The beauty of the poem lies in its balance soft yet powerful, simple yet layered. The imagery didn’t overwhelm instead, it enhanced the emotional weight, making the poem feel intimate and honest. I could picture what you were describing while also feeling the underlying emotions beneath those images. That combination is what makes poetry linger long after the last line is read.
Overall, this was a beautifully written, thoughtful, and moving piece. The imagery elevated the poem and made it resonate on a deeper level. Thank you for sharing something so well crafted and meaningful it was a genuine pleasure to read, and it left a lasting impression.
Thank you for the review!
The central metaphor is striking and sustained beautifully. The imagery doesn't overreach.
"Sanguineous soliloquies" is a gorgeous phrase. It earns its alliteration.
Four stanzas, four movements: him in abstraction, the awakening she feels, her fear, and finally, quiet faith. It breathes properly.
Thank you for the review!
This was so beautiful! I love the imagery and the tone! Great job!
Thank you!
This is so cuteeee!! I can feel the emotion put into it! This is really good!
Thank you so much!
someone's in loooooove!
obvi obvi