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125,012 Literary Works • 672,841 Reviews
I cannot review this. It's beautiful. By the way, I heard you reading it and that was amazing. You have a great voice for it. This poem though... I can totally imagine it, and it creates a very powerful image. Thank you for publishing this.
Favorite line in anything, ever.
That is all.
I can't even slightly convey how much I've missed your poetry, my goodness.
And how things have changed. I sometimes forget people grow up. I kind of half expected I would come back and everyone would be as they once were. That feelings would all somehow be at that same level and maturity, but this really proves me wrong.
I love how much hope you express in this. In a lot of ways. It's still subtle, and painful, and all the things I've come to know and love about your work. But it's painful and subtle in the way that hope can be painful and subtle. It expresses something more than longing which is something I feel you never used to do. But, then again, maybe I used to read your poetry in such a way. So there's that, too.
I guess what I'm really trying to get at is this feels very hopeful.
The only note of criticism I have pertains to the last stanza. This poem is very earthy and organic for the better portion of it, and though I do appreciate the bit of window imagery, I'm not quite sure how I feel about the road. It's as if promising an end to said adventures and yet the window does that better. The road feels like it's juxtaposing the wooden path and I'm not sure if it's meshing in a way that really helps hit that earthy feel home. Then again, maybe I'm overthinking it.
Anyways, lovely to see your work. I've missed it, missed you, and I'm glad to see some hope in your work. It's refreshing in a lot of ways.
~Walker
You have noearthlyideahowmuchI'vemissedyourreviews. It's always a good sign to me that a reviewer (or reviewers, in this poem's case) tack onto thoughts that are on the outskirts of my own edit-brain. You're wonderful. Your reviews are wonderful. <3 ilu bye
Hi Lumibear! I'm back to review!
I felt like this was an abrupt return to reality, where the narrator had drifted off for a second. I would probably try to make the transition a little smoother, with the narrator coming out of their thoughts gradually rather than shaking their head to get rid of the thoughts, but that's up to you.Usually, I do a pretty in depth review, but I'm just going to write down some things that I noticed about it.
Your language is beautiful and deeply involving in a form that is simple and full of imagery. I really love this, in other words, and I told you before that the middle bit made me cry.
In the first stanza, I don't feel like "followed the wooded path" really conveys a "long way" that the narrator and this other person have come. But now that I think about it, the whole poem is the long way-- never mind. My brain is too used to reading self-contained stanzas, but your poem has more thread than others that hold the stanzas together.
So this sentence is a comma splice and you can fix it by either adding a semi-colon where the comma is or adding a period. I'm on the period side of the argument for this one. I think it would be nice to have a firm, full stop where this person is ordering the narrator to do something.
That next bit makes me feel so much. Thank you for sharing it.
The conclusion of the poem is quite nice. I love the narrator's sentiment even though I get this idea that the adventure is over for now and the two have to go their separate ways.
Altogether, this is wonderful. I hope that this review proves useful to you! Happy poeting!
Your thoughts are perfect and make for excellent edits. Thank you. <3
It is very late right now-- and all I have to say is that I can't tear it to shreds. It's a heartache on paper, a moment of happiness encapsulated and put on display, adding a layer of nostalgia and melancholy.
I would love to review this later-- just comment on this and I'll get back to it when I'm more awake <3
Kanome here. c:
I don't consider this a review, but you must capitalize.
Other than that, simply amazing piece c:
There are no capitalization rules in poetry. Lumibear can choose to capitalize or not. I'd like to mention e.e. cummings, who didn't even capitalize his name. Also, you might find this article enlightening: Capitalization in Poetry