Young Writers Society

What a lovely poem, again, as always!!

The dust leaves behind a trail
Leading me to fall into a dream infused
With faded ghosts and tranquil shadows.

Can nature be haunted too,
Or just the places most sacred to us?

Hello there!

I came across this poem by chance, and I am not disappointed; this is a gorgeous piece. Each new line builds a picture that becomes more vivid, and -appropriately- more haunting. I don't have a better word to describe it; it's not particularly gloomy, and it's not particularly fantastical, but it feels like there's so much more to what's there. Especially since you incorporated more than just the visual sense, with notes of listening to a "symphony of tickling whispers."

I also love that you chose a moth to use in your imagery. Moths and butterflies are creatures with such strong symbolism, and spirituality is consistent with many types. The Dead Head Hawk Moth usually represents the supernatural and death, the White Witch Moth typically represents magic and hauntings, etc. I may be preaching to the choir, here, but "moth" works so well with the theme of hauntings. That visual of a moth departing from ashes just gave me goosebumps, and I think this is why.

When forced to ask myself the question, with that last line, I think nature can be haunted too. And it's not something I would have thought much about myself, so I much appreciate the experience ~

10/10, amazing poem!

Hi, izzy here.

Number one your title pulled me in, i like the question "Can nature be haunted too"
it can be a little sad to think about what small creatures endure in their time of existence.
Number two, when i first read this, all i could about is how i am terrified of moths lol. I think when you are in a rough spot in your head you begin to worry about others, even animals. I like how you related the place that haunts you to just the worrying thought about a moth.
I believe nature can be haunted though, in a realistic sense, obviously every animal, insect, human has learned through trial and error over the years, you learn how to survive, but some things you cannot endure, and that creates your ending. I really liked how you grab the reader in with a moth and relating that to the fact that nature is haunted. Nature is haunted by the ridiculed lessons it has endured and the cease of their kind. When your stuck as something so small, that's it.
I think I maybe over analyzed this.

This is a very awesome poem! From the use of imagery to the sort of eerie tone that I'm getting perfectly captures the essence of it. The last line, "Can nature be haunted too," is so deep and it left me thinking for a little bit. What I like to take from it is that the moths could be a symbol of death almost, an extension to the ghosts that were mentioned. That's just how I see it personally. Honestly, this is one of my favorite poems that I've read! Great job and keep writing!

Hello! The Silliest of Billies is here to leave a review of your work! Saw it in the green room and thought "Why not?" also because I like moths

This poem seems to be pretty open-ended, with many interpretations available for the mind to connect the dots to. The moths departing could symbolize people leaving as life goes on, with them leaving behind memories that bring a sense of melancholy. The faded ghosts remind me of a quote from Bojack Horseman Episode Fifteen of Season Six "Loss is a collaborative art between the people who leave us and those who remain. We dance with the shadows of their absence." The last moth who wishes to be sung to in order to return to safety could possibly resemble that of a strained relationship, wishing for one last good moment before its untimely end.

I like your use of imagery in this story, as it creates a nice enough image for me to imagine the scene while also letting me use my imagination to fill in some blanks.

Overall, "Can Nature Be Haunted Too?" was a good, and thought-provoking read! I would recommend it to a friend and would love to read more of your works soon! Keep up the good work

This is the Silliest of Billies signing off, wishing you a good day or night, where ever you are! ^^

Hi Lullaby! Lim here with a review.

General Impressions

I really enjoyed reading this poem. It leaves me feeling this sense of melancholy, and the poem itself is beautiful. The image of moths on ashes stands out to me, and it also blends nicely with the ensuing images of the ash forming trails that lead into a more surreal part of the poem.

Themes and Interpretations

I interpret this poem as having something to do with the themes of death and journeys. I’ve read somewhere that moths are symbols of death to some people and maybe that is how the moth is being used in this poem. The choice of words like “haunted”, “ghosts” and “ashes” also seem to suggest that the speaker/narrator is being confronted with death.

As for journeys, it appears that the moths “depart” and then return to the window over the course of the poem. Likewise, the speaker departs from the waking world into a “dream” and then returns.

I’m not sure what the last two lines could mean. At first I interpreted “haunted” as being kind of supernatural (and so human-made and natural places can both be supernatural), but I had a look at the work’s summary, which made me realise the moths might be personified here. So, “haunted” could mean the moths are haunted, like people can be haunted by a bad experience. That would add a theme of humans and the natural world to the poem and could make the reader question how similar or different they are, and perhaps whether the speaker is projecting their own hauntedness onto the moths (since they suggest it might “just” be “the places most sacred to us” which are haunted).

Imagery

Something I liked about the imagery is the level of detail. The writing conveys enough that I can imagine what the scene looks like, sounds like and feels like, from the evening sky outside the window to the “tickling whispers”. It also gets me to use my imagination and fill in other details that aren’t explicitly mentioned, such as the texture and maybe sound of the ashes as the moths disturb it.

As mentioned, I didn’t quite interpret the moths as being personified / treated as ‘characters’ here, if that makes sense, at least not until I went back and read the work’s summary. So if the personification is important to how you want the poem to come across, it might be worth adding more of it to the poem, or changing some of the words to become more person-specific, for example, maybe the moth on the ledge is “eager” for the speaker to sing it back to safety.

Structure

I thought the transition to the second stanza, “Can nature be . . . “, was a little abrupt. The first stanza is all full of concrete imagery, so the change to a rhetorical question was rather surprising. It could be intentional for it to be surprising, of course, but if you’d prefer the poem to keep that same calm, melancholy tone throughout, it could be good to have a slower transition to the poem’s central question.

Something I liked was the presence of sibilance and some alliteration with: “somber/ Symphony of . . .whispers” and “sing . . . safety”. Sibilant sounds seem to match the idea of moth wings flapping and a somewhat ghostly evening.

Overall

This is a short poem with layers and is satisfying to linger over. My main suggestion would be to consider the movement from one stanza to the next, as mentioned, and see how you want that to reflect the intended message or effect of your poem.

Let me know if you’d like more feedback on something specific!
-Lim