Young Writers Society

We're on the couch, my legs resting casually in his lap and my head on the couch arm. His fingertips are slowly tracing up and down my foot, each stroke sending shiver through my body. Jared and I have been friends for almost two years now, when he transferred into my school. Obviously, right when I saw him I knew I wanted to be with him, and the five awkward seconds I stood staring at him from outside my first period class, our epic love that you only see in movies passed before my eyes. After that, there was no denying it, I was utterly and totally in love with him. I was in love with how tall he was and the way he talked, laughed, walked, breathed, smiled, smirked, wrote, read, raked his hand through his hair, raised his eyebrow when he talked to you, stuffed his hands in his pockets, and rocked on his feet while he was waiting for someone or something. I loved the way he listened to you when you talked to him, and the way he chewed on his lip when concentrating, and the way that he appreciated everyone and everything, and was totally arrogant and cocky and confident, but in a good way. I loved his gorgeous sky blue eyes, and his short cropped chocolate hair, and his tanned skin, and his perfect smirked lips, and the lines around the corners of his mouth when he smiled, and the freckle next to his right eye, so small, but obvious. I loved everything about him, and everything he did, but only from afar.

It took me a couple of weeks of summoning up the courage and slightly stalking him to finally utter four words to him. Well, technically four and a half if you count the 'um'.

"I like your um, shirt." (For the record, he had been wearing a grey hoodie at the time).

Of course even though I was totally embarrassed and all the courage I had mustered up had left me abandoned, standing their like an idiot, waiting for a response all he could do was look at me. After a few seconds the tips of my ears started burning and when I realized he wasn't going to reply, I turned my back and quickly walked away, hugging my binder to my chest. I hurried to the nearest girls room, tears threatening to spill from my eyes. All my fantasies of him and me together, running away, and loving everything about each other were suddenly snatched from me by reality and it sucked. With a heavy heart and a broken attitude, I came into school the next day, dreading the sight of him. I didn't see him all day and felt so relieved when the last bell rung. I hurried onto the bus and pulled out my book, that when the normal people got on I didn't notice them because I was so engrossed in it. I didn't realize that the always vacant seat across from me had been filled until halfway through the bus trip, and that was only because they cleared their throat. I quickly looked up to acknowledge them for just a second and then get back to my book, but my heart jumped into my throat and I recognized the familiar features of his face. Jared. He didn't take this bus, he never had. I pretended to continue reading my book, totally petrified with fear, until he cleared his voice one more time. I quickly try to swallow the lump in my throat before I turn to look at him, biting my lip. I'm not ready to hear him talk, or see him smile, or even look into his gorgeous eyes, but I can't look away from him.

He smiles sheepishly at me, the first time I've ever seen him somewhat shy, but even now his eyes are portraying total confidence. I close my book slowly, being sure to place the bookmark perfectly in its spot before turning fully towards him. I start chewing on my bottom lip, confusion taking over mostly, along with a slight twinge of fear. I don't know what to expect. What could he possibly say?

"Thanks." His words shock me. What should he be thankful for? Then my mind flashes back to my embarrassing four (and a half) word sentence that I uttered to him the other day.

Even though my body is totally raked with fear now that the confusion is gone, I lightly smile.

"You're welcome. I like your shirt today too." I glance down at his shirt, not recognizing until know that he's wearing a normal blue long sleeve, pulled up to below his elbows. His sideways grin hits me like a truck and it takes all of me not to melt into a puddle right there.

"So what's your name?" He leans sideways against the seat, his whole body facing me, and his eyes intent on mine. I can see the concentration in his eyes that he has with everyone else when he listens and my eyes drift over to the freckle on the side of his right eye. I realize how familiar he is to me, yet so foreign. I'm in uncharted territory and I'm scared, but oddly excited. I'm finally talking to him, and can actually utter words. I'm filled with a rush of confidence, but my voice betrays me.

"Cress." It barely gets out of a whisper, and I rub my hands together, nervous again.

"Cress." He says it out loud, repeating me, and as if to see how it would sound.

My heart jumps into my throat at the sound of him saying my name. I mentally kick myself for being overly dramatic, but what can I say? I'm a true romantic.

"So are you always on this bus?" I pull my sleeves over my hands, and look down at them, not wanting to look at his gorgeous eyes and trip over my sentence.

"No, but now I will be. I was staying with my aunt while my house was being renovated for the move into it. You know I'm new here, right?" I try to hid my smile by bitting my lip. Of course I know he's new, just like I knew he moved from Utah to New York, and he has two younger sisters. Like how I know his parents are divorced, and his favorite sport is lacrosse. I might sound like a stalker, but I promise I'm not.

"Yeah, I figured. Where'd you move from?" I ask like I already don't know.

"Utah. Have you always lived here?"

I nod my head. "Sadly, some of us have never experienced life away from this dump of a town." He chuckles, even though what I said wasn't funny, and I finally meet his gaze. My eyes latch onto his sky blue eyes and my breath catches in my throat for a minute, causing me to cough. His eyebrows knit together in concern as I start on a coughing fit.

"Are you okay?" He places his hand on my shoulder, which makes everything worse for me, because all of a sudden the contact makes my ears and face go red. The bus stops and I stop just for a moment to realize we're outside my house. I quickly stand up, shrugging his hand off me, and grab my bag and my book, calling a quick and quiet goodbye over my shoulder as I rush off the bus, stuff barely falling out of my backpack. I get off the bus and take a breath of the fresh air as it drives away. I'm not dizzy anymore, and my head is clearing, but I can still feel the ghost of his hand on my shoulder. I sigh and walk into my house and up into my room. I didn't know at the time that I would spend almost every afternoon with him after that.

~

"Cress! Goddamnit! I thought I was driving you home, where are you?" I listen to my voicemail from a minute ago from Jared. I'm sitting in his car, waiting for him to come out of the school after soccer practice to drive me home. I told him I'd meet him outside of the locker room, but I totally forgot and just walked to his car. I laugh as I text him a view from his car and he replies, obviously furious with me. It takes only a second for him to come jogging out the side door, looking pissed. He opens the back door and throws his bag in.

"Not funny." He manages to say before the door slams close, and he gets in the front seat, with a scowl on his face. I laugh at him. "You big baby." I put my shoeless feet up on the dash as he silently starts the car. I turn on the stereo and music faintly plays in the background as mind starts to wander. I start to think of all the times me and Jared have hung out. In the beginning it was weird, because I was so madly in love with him that I couldn't even speak. He made it really easy to be in love with him too, which didn't help, but after a while we got used to each other. I'm still in love with him, and it's hard to be around him and not be his girlfriend, but I know him enough to know that he doesn't want to be with me, and that he doesn't think of me the way I think of him. Sometimes I'll catch him looking at me, as if he wants to kiss me but I know that's just me being the hopeless romantic I am and playing it up in my head to be a big thing. He's a very protective person too, and is always pulling me towards him when he gets uncomftorable or if he feels threatened or scared, which is often. I don't know if he thinks that I know or if he even realizes he's doing it himself, but after the first few times I figured it out, and it warms my heart.

"Cress." He whispers and I look up at him, running my hand through my short curly blonde hair to get it out of my eyes, before hugging my knees closer to my chest and answering him.

"Yeah?"

"Don't do that to me again, okay? I know nothing was going to happen, but I got scared for a minute, and then mad, as if you just ditched me. I know it's stupid but I thought maybe you found someone better to hang out with or something." He glances over at me with a small smile on his face, but I can see in his eyes he means it. He usually tries to hide his feelings with humor, but you can tell he's being sincere. One of the many things I love about him.

I smile back at him, taking my lip in between my teeth, and tucking my hair behind his ear. "I promise." He reaches over and squeezes my hand that's wrapped around my knees, before letting go and putting it back on the wheel.

I finger my necklace chain as he pulls up to Starbucks and jumps out, running in and coming back out with two steaming cups of coffee. He gets back in the car and hands me mine. I wrap my hands around the cup, loving the warmth of it, and close my eyes taking a sip of it. There's a hint of caramel in it, mixed with hazelnut. The warmth runs through my body, making me slightly happier than before. He continues driving and he drops me off at my house.

"I'll be over in an hour to pick you up to go see that movie you want to see, I just got to shower first, okay?" He says as I get my bag out of the door.

"Okay." I shut the door and gleam up at him, tucking that hair that always seems to be loose behind my ear. He grins at me out the passenger side window as he drives away, honking twice. I smile and walk into my house. Fifty minutes pass, and I change and run downstairs for something quick to eat before stepping outside to wait for Jared. I sit down on the steps and look up at the setting sun. It's only six o'clock and it's still light out. I love the nights like these, where the air is warm but the breeze is cool, and the sun is changing the night sky into different shades or red, yellow, and orange. I can already see the faint shine of stars in the sky and tilt my head back to look up, resting my chin on my hand. After a couple of minutes I pull my knees close to my chest, and wrap my arms around my legs, burying my head into my knees, and closing my eyes. Today's workout was really tough, and my coach was pushing us harder than normal, but what really bothered me was that some of the girls couldn't keep up, and she kept pushing and pushing, getting so mad when someone was to exhausted to keep going. I understand she wants us to be our best, but sometimes you need to take a break, even if they want you want to do your best.

I was pulled out of my trance by a trucks engine and glanced up at Jared's pickup slowly coming to a stop in front of my door. I don't know what came over me, but I just sat there, staring at him. His hair had gotten longer, curling around his ears, and he had gotten more muscular, at least that's what I see from where I'm sitting. Maybe it's just the shirt, or maybe it's me imagining it, who knows. Even from here his sky blue eyes pierce into my dull gray ones, and I can see the confidence being radiated from them. Pity the fools who don't believe that eyes are the windows to people's souls.

"You coming?" He leans over and pushes open the passenger side door and I jump up, quickly scampering into the truck, and closing the door behind me.

We drive to the movie theatre, goofing off during the drive. We get there and get seated. There's no one else in the theatre except for us, and it seems to stay that way for the rest of the movie. During the movie Jared seems bored, and gets up to leave a couple of times, leaving me alone in the dark. Even though I don't like to admit it I've always been scared of the dark, but when Jared comes back all the terror floods out of me and is replaces with warmth and happiness. Having Jared next to me makes me happy, and I'm so glad he's here with me to fight away the darkness that sometimes I imagine seems to swallow me.

Halfway through the movie the door opens and someone walks in, sitting with a thud two rows back from where me and Jared are sitting. I pay no attention to it, and continue with the movie but Jared turns around to look. He quickly turns and wraps his arm around my shoulder pulling me close and leaning into my ear.

"Cress, can we go?" I pop a piece of popcorn into my mouth and knit my eyebrows together before looking into his eyes in the dark. The screen illuminates them to a bright and lively gray, keeping me in a trance for a second. I quickly snap out of it and search his eyes before asking why. I can tell he's nervous, and the sudden shift of emotions in him confused me. He pulls me closer, shaking his head and shrugging it off by mumbling a 'nevermind'. He plants a kiss to the top of my head and my heart flutters a little. Curse this boy.

The movie continues and through silent spots I hear the person a few rows back shift as if impatient and agitated. I ignore him, although a little annoyed at his constant movement and how it's ruining the dramatic affect of the silence that laces the room. I finally turn my head back and my eyes immediately meet the eyes of a dirty thin faced man. His sunken eyes stare at me coldly and dead-like. I quickly turn back around and bury myself further into Jared's arm, feeling tiny and afraid. From the quick glance I get his gray long beard hangs from his ghostly face.

"Let’s go." As if expecting me to say it, Jared jumps up and grabs my hand, pushing me into his left side and under his arm, shielding me away from the man.

Me and him run into the lobby and out into the cold, pouring rain. He quickly pulls the hood of my jacket up for me before I can and I flash him a smile of thanks through the raindrops as we sprint to his car. We both get in and close the doors, sitting in silence getting warmed up. He shakes the rain out of his hair out, getting water on my shirt.

“Hey! Watch where you shake that thing.” I laugh and throw my wet jacket in the back, Jared copying me and then starting the truck, peeling off.

After a few minutes of comfortable silence with music playing in the background I finally speak.

“Why’d you want to go?” He seems to shift in his seat, and looks nervous.

“I don’t know. I just felt uncomfortable and was feeling sick. Did you really want to stay?” He furrows his eyebrows at me and flicks his eyes towards me. I shift in my seat so I’m looking fully at him and my back is resting on the window. I study him for a minute, the way his eyebrows are pulled in, worried, and the way he’s gritting his teeth, his jaw clenched. His hands are grasping the wheel like he’s hanging on for dear life.

“Jared, hey, it’s okay, you look so stressed." I lean forward and rest my hands on his. His gaze flickers off the road and on our hands, his face softening for a moment. My heart flutters, but I remind myself that a touch here or there wasn’t special to him like it was me.

He sighs in and out slowly then turns to me, tossing me a lopsided grin.

“I’m good. I’m not ready to go home yet, want to go out and get something to eat.” I frown at the idea. I ate before I came, and the popcorn also doesn’t help my full stomach, but I say yes to him. I’ll always say yes to him.

We pull up to a McDonald’s drive-thru and I only order a vanilla milkshake. While Jared is ordering his meal I slip my shoes off and pick my legs up, crossing them in my seat, tucking my hair behind my ear and watch Jared, resting my head in my hand.

“Thanks, you can drive up to receive your meal.” Jared grins at the speaker even though there’s no actual person there to thank.

“Thank you.” He says and then steps on the gas, driving up the the window and taking our bag.

“Cash or credit?” The gorgeous girl standing in the window smiles down at Jared in the car. She never glances at me, keeping her eyes on Jared the whole time. Jealousy burns inside of me as she flips her gorgeous brown hair behind her shoulder, and bats her long eyelashes.

“Credit.” Jared takes the bag and hands her his credit card. She smiles at him once more and and rips the receipt out of the machine and hands it to him along with his credit card when she's done.

“Text me and have a great day.” She winks at him, and he clears his throat, frowning and looking confused as he drives away. I’m confused too, until I realize that she must’ve given him her number on the receipt.

“Could you put this back in my wallet?” He hands me his credit card and wallet to put it back in. He’s still holding the receipt in his right hand, resting in the middle of us while he drives with his left.

“Hey Cress?” He glances over at me for not even a second.

“Yeah?” It comes out as a whisper. I look away, suddenly embarrassed, not just for witnessing the total forwardness of the girl back there, but also the fact that I'm making it somewhat obvious that it's getting to me. I peek over at him while getting my milkshake out of the bag.

“Throw this out for me?” He hands me the receipt without even glancing at it. I stare at it between his fingers and then up to him.

“Why?” I regret the words right when they come out of my mouth.

He shrugs. “Because I don’t need it. Do you want it?” He smirks over at me, and then chuckles as my face gets red.

“Don’t be stupid Jared!” I lean over and playfully swat his arm. He plays along and pouts, rubbing his arm. “Ow.”

I laugh. “Do you need me to kiss it?” The words slip out of my mouth before my brain can register it. My face and the tips of my ears instantly heat up. I fight the urge to tuck a stray piece of hair behind my ear, terrified he would take that as a sign that I actually would love to. I try to laugh to brush it off, but Jared’s staring at me with such an intensity that I can’t help but almost choke on my milkshake. “What?”

He shakes his head as if he’s coming out of a trance and shrugs. “Nothing.” I hand him his fries and he mindlessly nibbles on them for a little while before pushing them away. “I’m not hungry anymore, you can have them if you want.” He mumbles.

It feels like we’ve been driving forever when a certain song comes on the radio and I start humming softly to it. Out of the corner of my eye I can see Jared start to smile. The song ends and another one I love comes on, and Jared turns it up, knowing how I feel about it. He looks over and starts humming along with me. After these two years I still can’t fathom that we’re as close as we are, and how much he’s opened up to me. I’m his best friend, and he’s mine.

“Cress!” Jared's arm protectively shoots out, hitting my chest as if to shield me. The car in front of us breaks so suddenly. I can see everything before it all happens. Our car skids on the still-wet tarmac, the lights of the cars around us flashing before my eyes as our car looses control. The impact of our car as we crash into the one in front of us is to much for my body to handle and I jerk forward, the air getting ripped from my lungs. If it weren’t for my seatbelt I would already be through the windshield. I grit my teeth and tears leak through my eyes as our car tumbles over and over again, glass shattering. The airbags are doing nothing but making it harder to breath. The car lurches forward one more time, making the seatbelt dig even deeper into my shoulder. The car finally stops and the silence is scaring me more than the pain. The air finally returns to my lungs, and I scream for help. I try to move as I sob, but the collapsing roof has me pinned down, and the seatbelt plug is to far out of reach for me. The car flipped so many many times I became disoriented and was now fighting the urge to pass out. I try to get a hold of my surroundings but all of a sudden a wave of pain knocks into me. It’s to dark to see anything and the sound of cars rushing by makes it hurt even more. Was someone coming to help? Are we just being left, abandoned? Why was everyone passing us? Us.

“Jared!” The first words out of my mouth are strangled and thick, mixed with my tears. I can’t stop the uncontrollable sobbing as I try to move, try to get closer to Jared. I have to help him. I have to get to him.