Published October 18, 2012
In the early years, when the planet Earth was still young and beautiful, man was richly blessed by the gods. Prometheus had given the humans fire, Hera had overseen the success of marriages and protection of children, Demeter was responsible for the fertility and the successful cultivation of the soil and the resulting abundance of the harvest which she did masterfully. Poseidon created new lands in the water and a calm sea. Aphrodite brought love to the loveless. Hestia kept the hearth lit and the homes warm and happy. The Fates smiled on mankind. Everyone was joyful and glad.
But one man was unhappy. He was revenge crazed and bitter toward the god Poseidon. This man's name was Zelus, which means spirit of eager rivalry, emulation, jealousy, envy, and zeal. Zelus was a simple farmer. He worked hard, long hours and got no thanks. One day his wife and young son went out to sea to catch fish and offer a sacrifice to Poseidon. They took their finest horse and drowned him in the sea to appease the god of the sea, but Poseidon, being a moody deity and an unpredictable god, caused Zelus's wife and child's boat to crash into the sharp cliffs surrounding the sea. The woman and child died there, being thrown against the rocks.
When Zelus heard of this he was outraged and broken hearted. He cursed the god who had slaughtered his beloved wife and child. He locked himself away for days, not eating, not sleeping. Then Zelus awoke from his depression, he was set on revenge. He made a sacrifice and called on the goddess Nemesis, begging her to help him avenge his wife and child's death.
Nemesis heard the man's cries and appeared to him in the form of a woman, she glowed with godly power and glory. She was as beautiful as Aphrodite, but held a fierce and cruel venom in her dark eyes that could nearly turn a man to stone. Zelus offered her food and drink, which she took. She looked at Zelus and saw his pain, the injustice that had taken place, and the crime Poseidon had committed against him. She gave him a sword and a chain, which she placed around his neck, and told him that if he were to take revenge on Poseidon he would need to take his powers. The only way to do that was to pierce his heart with the enchanted sword she'd given him and put the god's blood onto the thick metal chain around his neck. Zelus bowed his head thanking her a thousand times over for her gift to him. Then, after the goddess was gone, he headed to the sea, set on revenge against Poseidon.
Zelus dove into the water, sword in hand, revenge driving him to swim faster toward the terrible Lord of the Sea. He swam to the sea's floor then walked along the sand for hours, until he finally saw the grand coral palace of Poseidon. He knew once he entered the fortress there would be no turning back, but he was so hurt, so broken, so tortured by the god who lay just inside the walls that he could not contain himself. He swam into the coral castle, gripping his sword in his hand so tightly that his knuckles began to turn white. He fought off many mermen and sea creatures before he was over powered and taken to the thrown room.
Poseidon sat on a large coral throne, wearing loose robes and eating ambrosia from a silver tray. He looked irritably at Zelus and leaned back in a relaxed manner. "Who are you mortal? Why have you come to my realm?" the god's voice was strong and rough and as he talked fear crept into Zelus's hardened heart.
"You killed my wife!" he yelled at the god, "You killed my child! They came to offer a sacrifice to you and you killed them!" At that he ran at the grand deity, sword raised high and voice crying out in anger, but before he could reach Poseidon's posh throne his breath escaped him, soon he couldn't breathe at all. He dropped the sword and grasped at his throat.
"I let you humans breathe in my realm for far too long. You have opened my eyes to that, mortal." A rush of water pushed Zelus to Poseidon, and the god simply laughed, "I'd start swimming away if I were you." Then the god, and his palace, disappeared. Zelus was left with only a few sharks to finish him off.
To this day mankind cannot breathe in the realm of Poseidon, they cannot see the wonder of ocean's floor first hand. All because of a revenge crazed man named Zelus.
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Really good. I love Greek mythology. I don't know if that story is true, but it's as if I just read that out of a book.
The languauge use is good, I really like the idea.
It teaches a lesson as well. Its a frustrating story, which is good because it will have an effect on the reader.
Nice!
The ending was awesome first of all, I didn't see it coming. You might want to mention something about being able to breathe in the beginning though, because In Greek Mythology a hero probably could hold their breath the whole time. I really like it though, a great story. Like Veneer said though, you should pace yourself in the beginning. Plus, a little more detail at the end and this could be a lot better. Still a great story, thanks for sharing!
Zephion
Thank you!
I absolutely loved this story. I don't know if it's an original myth or not, but thanks for sharing it!
Besides the pace moving to quickly in the begging, sounding more like things that are happening instead of things that have happened, the story was excellent.
However, on a personal note, Poseidon is my absolute favorite greek god, and I disliked that he was portrayed in a bad way in this story :C. Otherwise great work!
Haha. Thank you. I'll work on the pace. And Poseidon is my favorite too, but he was moody according to mythology, I figured we might as well have that get the best of him.