Tell me this is just a dream

Hello. It's Murphy posting a review.

First of all I love this. I love how you have put so much emotion into your poem that it really makes the reader feel how you felt or feel. I think that make for a very talented writer.

If I had anything to critique it might be that in the beginning you start off rhyming in the first four sentences and then seems like you stop rhyming. But that might be on purpose.

Anyway, I very much like this poem. It speaks to anyone who has gone through probably one of the most fragile and worst parts in our lives. And it flows very well. Great job

Hi! Space here for a review.

I love the way you wrote this poem. You really express the feeling, wishing it was a dream because you don't want the pain from this past lover/friend to be real. I also get the hint that it happened awhile ago, or some time ago, and the pain is still there, meaning it must've been an important relationship. ("I can't escape this pain..")
(I might be getting this incredibly wrong, but it's what I think of when I read it.)
Getting the reader to understand the concept like this without so bluntly saying it is a very important trait in writing, and you did a great job of doing it.

What do you mean by the "..." at the end of each sentence? Does it mean you are hesitant to say it, do you mean that it's hard to get the word out as if you are saying it to his face, or do you just want the poem to have a slow feeling?

And my one suggestion is to take away the "?.." at the end of the last sentence, because it seems like it shouldn't be formed like a question because it doesn't make much sense. Of course, if it was placed there for a reason, I understand, but maybe make it more clear.

That's really all. Great poem!

-Space

Legacy here for a review .

Personally time only heals things to an extent, it also matters on the other things that you do to try to be better (from personal experience).

The lines that have two periods instead of one are distracting since they are used so often.

"I can't escape this pain../ Please save me from reality..." could be revised to "I can't escape this pain,/ please save me from reality" and it would make the readability slightly better and less distracting.

What has caught hold of you? It was very vague on it and it just distracts from the poem in my opinion.

"Tell me this is all a dream?../" is distracting because of both the question mark and the two periods. I would suggest one or the other.

Hope I was able to help Legacy out.

Hi! Izzy here for a review!

I really enjoyed this emotional poem!

I think you are trying to convey that you are in some type of pain and you have had your heart broken (I'm sorry if I am butchering this, I am just trying to figure it out and see what the poem is about and sometimes I mess up so I'm sorry) Or someone has hurt you in some way and you are tired of being hurt.

I hope I am right!


Izzy