Young Writers Society

Home » Literary works » Poetry » General


mirrors

by LordWolf



Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
41 Reviews


Points: 57
Reviews: 41

Donate
Fri May 24, 2019 4:41 pm
starryknightt wrote a review...



Hey there!

I just want to say that you have such a unique voice. Your works are always so inspired and different. It's really a breath of fresh air and I love that.

I really like the metaphors and similes you have going on in this one. It's colorful and adds to the mystery and intrigue. The first line is my personal favorite, but the "tight leather pants laid out on a table" part is so awesome. It's super specific, but that's the best part. You're specific but I still don't have a great idea of what's going on- so I want to immediately read more!

One small thing I noticed, not sure if I'm just misinterpreting things or not. That last stanza you have. It specifically states that the dead have already left? But then right away it says "they'll wait for you". I understand it's supposed to be kind of foreboding and everything, but I'm a little confused. Maybe clarify that part.

I can't wait to read more of your art!

-M




User avatar
151 Reviews


Points: 10736
Reviews: 151

Donate
Wed May 22, 2019 3:42 am
View Likes
Toboldlygo wrote a review...



Hey there! Toboldlygo here for a review!

I really love what you do with your backgrounds. I'm not going to lie, the way you present your poetry is actually a major part of their appeal. They're sweet and fun to read and the backgrounds add so much to the words of the poem! This one in particularly looks like a mirror or portal, which really fits into the title of the piece very well.

I have to admit, this poem actually shakes me a little. It's dark and definitely caught me off guard. It seems like a warning, that death is closer than we realize. Now, that's definitely a good reminder in my opinion, but it's also a very unnerving one. The writing itself is suspenseful, and it definitely adds to that sense of impending doom.

I think the last line, particularly, "they have already gone on - and they'll wait for you," though, sounds more hopeful to me. The entire poem feels like it works up to a death or tragic event, and then suddenly, next thing I know, there's something that sounds like a promise. It could be a threat, that death is coming to you, too, but it's also hopeful because you know that people you know and love are there to wait for you already. It seems hopeful, and I think that's an awesome ending to the poem.

Happy Writing!

Toboldlygo





In any free society, the conflict between social conformity and individual liberty is permanent, unresolvable, and necessary.
— Kathleen Norris