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18+ Language Mature Content

Delta - 24.3

by LordWolf


Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for language and mature content.

Robe pulled them together once more, pushing Glenn back onto his back and resuming the position that had started before his tumble onto the floor.  No matter how much he was looking forward to the tender lips around his cock, Robe pushed the thought out of his head for a short time being.  He shifted his hips to match with Glenn’s and ground down slightly, feeling a new rush as they rubbed against each other.  He would have to be very careful this evening if wanted to make it the entire way through.

“Somehow it didn’t manage to come up when we were discussing you.  If I had known that though I probably would have dealt with you differently.”

“Oh do tell, Detective.”

“I probably would have fucked you in her storage closet.  It has some wonderful inspirational posters in it,” Robe paused only to lean down and whisper into Glenn’s ear.“I’m sure one of those office supplies would have been able to inspire you to come for me, in addition to my cock up your ass.”

The moaning beneath him started again.  Robe left his lips at Glenn’s ear, slowly sucking on the lobe and biting at his partner’s neck.  It was a careful marking and Robe sighed a bit at the realization the soldier’s leather jacket would be hiding his handiwork.

If it will all be covered, then you should make it something impressive to cover.

The thought danced around in his mind for a few minutes as Robe left more marks on Glenn’s tender neck.  The path gracefully traced down from his ears to his collarbone, and after Robe initially let up he traced the map with his fingertips.  From beneath Robe the moaning and whimpering never stopped, never faltered in its continuity and begging for more of the same.  As Robe placed his lips against Glenn’s skin once again, he set out with the purpose of getting a more verbal beg.  He wanted to hear exactly how badly his partner wanted something between them to be happening, actual words that would tell him more of a story.

Robe made his way across the waiting chest, remembering the movements of Glenn just a little bit ago when it came to the concern of nipples.  He decided to start gentle, repay the favor that Glen had given him, but Robe had other intents in mind.  Those certain intents that he made clear when biting down on the sensitive area and the reaction of the body trying to shift beneath him.

“Ahh, Robe, please.”

“Please, what, darling?”

Please.

Maybe Robe wasn’t that rusty in his skills after all.

There was so much temptation to move on, so much more area to cover but he felt a need to stay at the top of Glenn’s chest for awhile longer.  A series of questions popped up in his mind and Robe wanted to find out the answer to each one.  Biting down on the other nipple, he felt Glenn squirming beneath him once again, along with another cry of shock.  There was a momentary worry across his mind about waking the neighbors, but it quickly disappeared when he placed his own mouth over Glenn’s.

No better way to stifle a moan than with a kiss.

They remained locked in that position for another long while.  Glenn’s hands had crept down to Robe’s ass and Robe found one of his own hands between their grinding hips.  The act would have better if he had taken the lube from the bedside cabinet, but they had gotten excited enough so far to be a bit slick.  More exploration of his partner led to the answers for a few more of the questions on Robe’s mind.

Among them he found out that Glenn’s size matched up to the appearance and the ego.  Another realization was that the man liked attention to his testicles.  And would wince away physically but moan at the contact of a finger near his ass.  Just near.  Not even in.  Robe thought about Glenn’s self-naming as a ‘slut’ as slid the fingers between his partner’s balls and back to the waiting ass.

All in due time.

“Ah, please.  Do you want me to beg for this?”

Glenn had looked up to Robe’s eyes while he asked the question.  They maintained a steady contact for a few minutes and Glenn sighed slightly when letting his head fall back onto the pillow.  Robe moved his fingers up to their waiting cocks, grinding their hips together once again and feeling the pleasure rush through him.

“That’s exactly what you want, isn’t it?”  Glenn was asking him the question through their simultaneous pants.

“Hmm?”

“You want me to beg.  Yeah?”

Robe rolled their hips together once more, sliding both of his hands up Glenn’s ribs and taking another kiss from the open mouth.  He thought carefully about his answer for his partner, wondering what answer would be acceptable, no matter what Robe really wanted.  Of course he wanted Glenn to beg.  The first time he had someone in bed for an extended time, or in general in a year, was going to be drawn out to exactly how he liked it.

“I would like you to beg for it, yes.”

“You’re a bit of a dominating man in bed, do you know that?”

“I am aware of that fact and I’d be a bit disappointed if you hadn’t figured out my position by now.”

Soon Robe’s casual thrusting received an answer from Glenn’s own hips, and a set of hands on his ass bringing them closer together.  It was harder and harder to stave off that orgasm, but Robe had a particular location in mind.

“Please fuck me.  I want, you to do so and you want to do so.I don’t see what’s stopping us.”

“Lube.”

“What about it?”

“We can’t go any further until you get it out of the top drawer.  And get the condoms as well.”

Robe saw the look in the soldier’s eyes of wanting to say something, but a glare back dismissed the thought.  He knew himself to be clean and could wager that Glenn was most likely in a clean state as well, but that was no excuse to not use a condom.  If this was going to somehow spiral into a relationship, there would be plenty of time to go further and Robe preferred to be playing it safe.

“I did get the gist from your look, Robe, but you don’t need that,” Glen lifted a finger to point to the condom foil, and then continued, “if you don’t want to use one.”

“I understand that, darling, but I’m playing it safe this way and I’ll stay like this.  We have a lot of time for going further.”

A small amount of lube was poured onto Robe’s finger tips and he knelt carefully between Glenn’s thighs.  While he inserted the first digit, he leaned up to kiss his partner and enjoy the moans following the insertion.  He slid the finger around a few times before adding in a second, carefully stretching Glenn out, all while keeping their careful kisses going.  There was a gasp as he pulled his lips away and returned to the kneeling position.

“I’ll be back up there in moment, dear.  Just need more lube if we’re going to get another finger in there.”  Robe left one light peck upon Glenn’s lips and continued, “If you’ll just be patient for now you’ll get what you want very soon.I don’t want to hurt you.”


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301 Reviews


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Sun Jul 28, 2019 4:55 pm
fraey wrote a review...



Hi. I figured I could give some quick feedback on a few of these chapters now that I've slacked for way too long.

There's definitely some chemistry between Robe and Glenn, their little fiery comebacks even while having sex. As this happens during a more adult-ish novel, rather than a teenager one, I think the slightly stilted conversation about consent/safety over all of chapter 24 actually works. The reason being that I would say a more mature audience would relate a lot more in being older and being totally down with having completely consensual relations with who is pretty much a stranger.

I think it says a lot about Robe here too, with how careful he seems to be with every step of this encounter - them being a little drunk to then hooking up, but being armed with plenty of supplies needed for sex. Yes, this reads as slightly awkward, with a few of the terms sounding more medical or straight-forward than what people might generally want to describe hooking up, but this is also set quite a few years into the future, so it makes sense that otherworldly beings could perceive things differently and react to things in a different matter.

One funny thing for this comes from that like so many of these characters have all done something which each other in this draft at least - from just Harry, Glenn, and Robe. It's a little cute though that despite everyone's experience, Robe wants to go through every good step for sex. Certainly interesting to read, as ever. ^^




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Sun Jul 14, 2019 2:12 am
LanaOverland wrote a review...



HI! It's Lana, your friendly neighborhood asexual here to review your erotic scene! Don't worry I have zero practical experience! Ahem. But in all seriousness, I've read a lot of erotica for my classes, so I hope that helps me have a better understanding of your piece, but I'm not your audience (which is okay), so keep that in mind I guess if that effects my criticism in anyway.

I like to start out my reviews with a little summary to make sure I have the details straight and you'll know right away if there are some misunderstandings that may affect the rest of the review. In this case I actually had a few different ideas about what this scene was about, which you might see in different points of my criticism. Because its a section of a larger piece and context is a bit scarce because it doesn't need to be there I did my best: So Robe, a detective, is having sex with this soldier guy, Glen. Robe either really likes Glen or is only using him to get some other information, wither way Robe is super dominating and meticulous in his...pleasuring? (I don't know how to describe foreplay without sounding like a creeper). Glen is SUPER into it.

“He shifted his hips to match with Glenn’s and ground down slightly, feeling a new rush as they rubbed against each other.” ----Thoughts on Language: So because this is erotic, I’m taking into consideration the tone that the language creates. The tone I’m getting is very rough, driven by animalistic urges without much consideration for who the people involved are. Particularly the word “rubbed.” This contrasts with the tone of phrases like “tender lips”--which has a nice juxtaposition with “cock”—which creates a more intimate tone. I figured I’d bring it up, though you might be going for a less intimate tone (I’m a nonsexual fluff person myself which is why it sticks out to me). I'm not quite sure what balance of the two you're trying to create cause it sometimes shifts back and forth between strictly physical and strictly sensual.

“He would have to be very careful this evening if wanted to make it the entire way through.”----I’m confused as to why Robe has to be careful, but I’m a little afraid to ask.

“Somehow it didn’t manage to come up when we were discussing you.”----again, not sure what “it” is. I have a guess, but it could be more clear. Also, I actually misunderstood who was speaking there, which may have been cleared up if I was more familiar with the characters, but a dialogue tag would be helpful here since we’ve had a significant break in conversation.

““I probably would have fucked you in her storage closet. It has some wonderful inspirational posters in it,””----The comment about the inspirational posters is distracting.

“Robe made his way across the waiting chest, remembering the movements of Glenn just a little bit ago when it came to the concern of nipples.”----So I wasn’t going to say anything about it, thinking it was a persistant stylistic choice, but I kept getting confused by the sentence phrasing. It’s very clerical, and in this case, because sex is a sensual and fast paced subject it is getting a little lost in the complicated phrasing. I don’t quite know what to suggest to alleviate this. I think you’re going for something of a disinterested Robe explicitly dominating this other man, and thus you’re giving it this clerical-matter-of-fact tone to show that this is a deliberate act of physical—but not emotional—sex. That I can get (which actually maybe that's not what you're going for having finished the piece?). So you don’t necessarily want to go romance book poetic with it, but there’s definitely a disconnect for me with the matter of fact tone and the sensual explicitness of other parts of the text. Like in some places Robe seems to be very sensual: “The path gracefully traced down from his ears to his collarbone, and after Robe initially let up he traced the map with his fingertips.” And in others, like the example at the top, he is almost lost as a human character (by which I mean he is abstracted by the language not that he's two dimensional). It might be a case of picking either this purely physical but descriptive tone or this completely abstracted matter of fact tone. Either I think do a great job at getting this idea about Robe across and will be a great scene. However both asks the reader to constantly be switching between two voices and is probably the reason I was having difficultly understanding what was going on.

“No better way to stifle a moan than with a kiss.”----I like this. It really sells that all work no (a little) play vibe that Robe has in this scene. It’s good characterization.

“He knew himself to be clean and could wager that Glenn was most likely in a clean state as well, but that was no excuse to not use a condom….Robe preferred to be playing it safe.”----One, first and foremost, yay for safe sex between gay men. Two, cut it down a smidge. Again tonal thing, safe sex can and is sexy, and there is nothing unmanly about a top wanting to use protection, but dwelling two far on it can pick away at the momentum and makes it sound like a PSA. I’m not saying get rid of all of it—it’s important—but maybe cut it down to a one sentence reasoning. Or just to the back and forth conversation about it (which actually I might also rephrase a bit to sound less like a PSA and more like a man in charge insisting on safe sex (like, really? You don’t use protection? Only idiots don’t use protection)). Third, can I just say I was surprised to see Robe as tender as he was at the end. Like this line: “If you’ll just be patient for now you’ll get what you want very soon. I don’t want to hurt you” That’s actually kind of sweet. We’re peeling back layers here.

So overall. It was well done. Yes I had some problems with the tone, but I liked a lot of the ideas and the way you characterized.





I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train.
— Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest