“So, are you like ok?” Daisy said tentatively as they walked down the busy road. The movie had been pretty crap, but Finn seemed to like it, though maybe it was just to avoid talking Ed. Finn thrust his hands into his pockets, not meeting my eyes.
“I don’t know, I just don’t know. I’m all muddled up right now.” He said.
“Look, if you want to talk to me about anything, just like talk to me, ok?” Daisy said, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. Finn nodded, still not quite meeting her eyes.
“So, Gabriel, huh?” He said. Was there an edge to his voice? Daisy thought, sneaking a quick glance at Finn. He was looking at her with those eyes, the ones she’d told everything too, and something about them made her want to tell him everything.
“He asked me out, to the Music Festival on Saturday.” Daisy said. Finn smiled, and it was reassuring because it was a clear and happy one.
“That’s awesome! You should totally go!” He said. Daisy nodded, she’d been so stoked when he asked her, but the whole thing with Ed had made her feel strangely guilty.
“You think?” Daisy asked. Finn nodded, pulling a hand through his hair.
“Totally, I mean you like the guy, right?” He asked, eyes alight with curiosity. She did, he was mysterious and kind and had a brilliant taste in music, but she liked Finn a lot as well.
“Yeah, but I don’t know, I just wanted to make sure you were ok with it.” Daisy said, regretting it as soon as it came out of her mouth. Finn looked confused for a minute but nodded.
“Hey, look, report to me how it goes, ok?” He said, “I’ve got to go, the train ride’s like three hours long, and if I want to be in time for dinner I better scoot.” Finn said. Daisy hugged him, feeling the warmth radiate from his skin.
“Email me, k?” She asked, as he took step back.
“You bet.” He winked, the turned around and Daisy watched his denim-clad legs disappear into the maze of pedestrians.
So, how’d it go with Gabriel?
The counsellor calls me in a lot, just to talk about stuff. She seems frustrated by my answers, but I don’t care. Not in like a rebel way, I just really have no interest in what she thinks of me. I’ve been ignoring everyone at school. Tyler’s gone to the jocks and I mainly just hang out in the library, reading.
Mum got really pissed at me for staying out so late. It was past nine by the time I got home and she completely blew her top. I think she was taking her anger out on me because Cody’s being a douche to her about being so strict. She cries a lot.
Have you read the Cather In The Rye? I would highly recommend it.
No, I haven’t. I’ll borrow it.
Yeah, it was really fun. We just walked around mainly, talking. Gabriel’s hilarious. I mean, there’s just so much stuff I didn’t know about him. He does live in The Flats, but he said that there not too bad as long as you know your way around. He said that he hates St. Clarks, too many rich kids that think they know everything.
And then when everyone was packing up, Gabriel got up on stage and borrowed his friend’s guitar. He played this really beautiful song, an original and he has a beautiful voice.
He asked if I wanted to ride to school with him, and to meet him at The Flats.
I really like him, Finn. I know that sounds dumb, but he’s different to anyone I’ve ever met.
Ahh, so he’s alternative?
School was ok. We had English, and our teacher got us to all to write a poem. Any subject, but it had to be meaningful. I just stared at the blank page and started writing, like I don’t even remember writing it, but when I looked at the clock and back; there it was, my poem.
Here it is;
The girls you used to talk to,
The line you used to wait in,
The shoes you used to wear,
The friends you used to have.
And in a small bit of metal,
It all faded.
I still see you,
Sitting by the window,
Spying on Ashely Wilson,
Smiling that dumb grin.
Maybe there where warning signs,
But to me you were always,
Just my best friend.
So I’m sorry that I didn’t do something,
That would have made you stay.
And then I had to read it out to the class and I started crying because I knew I wasn’t trying to read it to my class, I was trying to read it to Ed. Another visit to the counsellor, she asked me harder questions this time.
“Do you have nightmares?”
“Do you have suicidal thoughts?”
“Are you angry he didn’t say goodbye?”
And I said no too all of them, but in my head I was saying yes.