Published March 13, 2005
It's starting to confuse me,
the fact that Spring will fall into Autumn
like spiderwebs being swept off my ceiling,
so rapidly that when I open my eyes
the seasons will have ducked under me and swapped positions.
I want to colour blanks pages with my hot blood,
and not have to put up with the
depressing, lukewarm, soapy white.
But I don't want to fall through the glass
of my monochrome safety while I still have it.
You wanted me to dye my hair blonde,
but I laughed and tried not to
let myself get stirred up in your expectations.
I know you're gorgeous, but there are
some things I've learnt not to sacrifice.
As the wind laughs across my cheeks,
I wonder what it would be like to
run my teeth along yours.
I could be your wind.
I wonder what sort of gunk would collect on my teeth.
There are photographs of popcorn on cinema floors,
of the tips of your hair,
of croissants and hot chocolate
pinned on the wall of my mind
because the real things won't fit in my suitcase.
written: Wednesday 25th August 2004, 10:15pm.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
141,779 Literary Works • 675,751 Reviews
This was a really lovely poem <3
These lines hit me so hard. Thanks for writing this, I am so grateful I found it. I absolutely adore how well you are able to describe such a variety of themes, but keep the same mood overall. This poem really made me feel like I was living inside your head. This made the parts I could relate too so much more amazing.
Your poetry is so descriptive. These lines were so well done:
I love your style! Thanks for writing this, 19 years ago. Also, I love that you included exactly when you wrote this- even the time too
Your friend,
Ellie
I'm not sure what was going on in the poem. It looks like you tried to take several different topics and cram them together into one poem and there doesn't seem to be much that links them together. I think it could be made alot clearer, but it sounded nice.