Hello there.
Popping in to give you some feedback that I think everyone deserves, even if this is coming years and years later.
I guess I'll be going part by part.
For the first short, I think that this would honestly be more effective as a poem, as it almost reads as one. These long, run-on sentences in a story format try to carry the reader deeper into this image, but I'm a little perplexed by what this is supposed to mean. That first line especially seems like it's being a preposition or two to really link the pieces together. I guess that my biggest recommendation would be to either draw this out a little more, like adding a few more "personal" thoughts besides just describing what we, as the reader, are supposed to see. I do like the imagery here, but I feel like in a poem format, this would flow better and you'd have an easier time adding or not adding punctuation.
For the second one, I assume this is supposed to be a more personal message for someone the writer knows since there is some information missing here. As a short story, I don't think is too effective at really connecting the reader to the speaker, as we don't know why this person hates another. And I think the beginning lines sound a little off in their present state. I think the slight change of tenses is what throws me off the most. Here, I recommend either to make this longer with more hints or to turn this also into a more poetic structure and draw the reader in that way.
For the third one, I somewhat feel sympathy for the speaker, but I also don't know what to feel? The descriptions are interesting to a certain extent, but then I want more than just seeing what she can see. I want to know why she's ignored, or at least why she thinks she is. The sense of hope/helplessness is sad, but I feel that is something touched upon by a lot of writers in different ways. I simply want more information on this character. I recommend extending this or giving some sort of hint in one of these parts to really let the reader know what caused this sadness/depression.
For the fourth one, I'm also perplexed by the change in tone here. This is a separate person than before, but still, the ending part of this is much darker and almost seems disjointed from the beginning. This had a decent implication of what's been going on with the narrator, which I'm appreciative of, but that idea does also make me sad. I think the shortness of this part actually works out in your benefit because the reader at least has some sort of knowledge to grasp at here, and it feels a little more finished. The thoughts in this seem a little harried and all over the place, but maybe that adds a little to this story.
For the fifth one, I like the longer length as well. Here, it's interesting to filter through the information the speaker feels is important enough to speak, and find what's hidden. I think the set of questions is interesting but also weird since the way they're worded don't allow for a smooth feel. Instead, this feels disjointed as well and a little scatter-brained, but maybe that's what you were going for. Most people at least thinking-wise aren't the most on top of things. The last line was a little blunt, but I think that does a good job summing up these random thoughts and shorts collectively.
Overall, I thought this collection was different, but I do wish there was a stronger sense of uniformity, as I'd almost rather read these as separate pieces instead of together.
That's all I have, for now, I guess.
Poetic, to be sure. It wasn't really a story, but that's OK, it did have sort of a plot...*sigh* no critique, for now. If I think of something, i'll post it later.
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