Memories guide,
Memories lead,
I keep memories,
Memories keep me,
Memories can be good,
Memories can be bad,
Memories can be remembered forever,
Memories can be forgotten almost as soon as they were had.
The good memories keep me goin' on.
It has never made me think I'm alone
Remembering my mom's kiss for me,
in times of blue fills me with glee.
Recollecting the words of my father,
guides me wherever I go.
Reminiscing the appreciatitions from my teachers,
makes me believe I'm good at what I do.
Cherishing the moments I had with my love,
reminds me of his soul, alive in me.
picturing my childhood pranks with my siblings,
tells me I am that same little happy girl.
All the moments captured in my heart,
fuels my soul to keep goin' on in my journey of life.
All the way I've routed with the help these milestones,
my special memories that destined me here.
My memories taught me who I was and where I should be.
It's the milestones, they know far I've come and have to go.
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125,005 Literary Works • 672,805 Reviews
Hello, Alex here to review your poem!
This is a really nice collaboration, you two. First, I'll say that I won't be correcting any grammar or punctuation, since those are some of my own weak points and I will be coming at this from a strictly poetic standpoint.
First, I like the powerful title and how this whole story has a hopeful feeling. But at the same time, you didn't make it too overly sappy or optimistic. You still added a few realistic negative elements, which I did appreciate. There were a few of what I'd call amateur rhymes, but better than I could do. Those would've been fine if the whole poem had a more childlike feel to it, but it didn't. Some of the lines were so well written that, I felt it clashed with the lines that were more simple. Perhaps this is just me, I am no professional. When I say 'simple,' I am not referring to the simple lines that were actually quite profound, which, there were some of those that I liked very much! I am referring to vocabulary such as 'feeling blue' and being 'filled with glee' which happen to take residency within the same line. Once again, this might just be me.
Overall, I really like it. A lot of the poetry I've read lately has been hard to understand, dark, filled with hidden meanings, or, at the very least, depressing. It was refreshing to read a more positive one.
Take it all with a grain of salt, I'm not the best writer. Thanks for taking the time to read my review,
Alex
Thank you very much <3 I really appreciate for taking your time to read it.
Glad you liked it!
This is a lovely collaboration piece! Thanks for sharing.
Thank you so much @alliyah
Thanks @alliyah
Hey there, Lives4Christ24 AND Sree !!
This is Eros here with a review for this poem of yours !!
The first word that came across my mind ...was AWESOME. This is a wonderful poem describing the different shades of memories.
This was a topic completely different and complete unique. And the topic thats you have chosedn is very attractive and catchy.
The topic gives a feeling of depth..."My Memories, My Milestones." SUPERB.
The flow of the poem is very smooth. Loved it.
Theme is also unique and the ideas are expressed in a very innovative manner.
Overall a great piece of collab !
And I MUST say, it is difficult to write something in a collaboration. Great team work... Shouldn't say a team also, because it's just two of you Workin together... but I am not getting any other word to express it.
Beautiful work ...
Keep writing such Awesome stuff and we would love to keep reading them !
Have a great day / or night !
~Eros.
Thanks @Eros
Thank you so much @Eros
Hi there LivesforChrist24 and Sree! Niteowl here to review.
First off, kudos to you guys for writing a collaborative poem! I've written with other people and it can sometimes be really difficult to blend different styles together.
One of the strengths of this poem is when you start bringing in specific memories. This kind of specificity is what can take a poem from "hmm, interesting observation" to "whoa, that's really cool. I'd never thought about X like that before". I'd suggest taking this a little further, from just describing the memory to using sensory description to bring us into the memory.
This part is simple but actually pretty striking. Like we think of memories as possessions of ours, but in a way they're also our building blocks, shaping the way we do things in the future.
The rest of the beginning, I'm not so crazy about. Up until "It has never made me think I am alone", I kind of feel like you guys were warming up, starting with some basic observations about memories to get started on this poem before getting into the good stuff where you get specific. I find myself with such warm-up lines all the time before I really hit my stride. I suggest cutting most of this and getting us into specific memories a little faster.
Another general comment I have is that this poem tends to be non-rhyming, but then occasionally it does rhyme. I'm not sure if this was a result of clashing styles or accidental, but I would keep the whole thing not rhyming.
1) You spelled "appreciations" wrong.
2) The first line is awkward, and I think this would be a good place to revise and get a little more descriptive. An example: "When I doubt myself, I remember how Ms. Smith said she loved reading my essays." This is still a little tell-y, but it brings us more into the moment and is a little more specific.
3) The comma at the end of this line is unnecessary. In fact, I think you guys may believe that there has to be a punctuation mark at the end of every line. That may have been a rule a long time ago, but it isn't anymore, and the extra commas are quite distracting. Usually, I suggest punctuating poetry as you would prose unless you have a darn good reason not to. This is what Aley calls "Sentence Punctuation" here: Punctuation in Poetry.
One last thing I think is kind of odd is how you brought in milestones at the end. The memories mentioned are all kind of small events, not milestones like graduation, your first kiss, your wedding, a special birthday, etc. I definitely think there's some truth to this, as seemingly little memories can feel much more important than a day that's supposed to feel important and memorable. However, if you're going to focus on small memories, why even bring up milestones? I'd consider cutting this out.
Overall, I think you have some neat ideas about memories and I'd love to see more imagery and specific descriptions of these memories. Keep writing!
Thanks you so much @NightOwl. Will focus on the suggestions given