Sometimes I miss the moonlight when I sit at my window and watch the clouds blank out the sky.
The darkness is the true day, the time when everything but humans live. Birds caw in the trees and animals crackle on the ground and nature breathes its cool envy down the neck of mankind.
My sister has always been scared of the dark, so have my friends, the tiny figures in the TV and the monster under the bed. He hides waiting because he is scared and cannot open his eyes. It’s because night does not belong to us. Humanity can colonise the earth and the sea and the sky, but night is impenetrable due to an ingrained terror for what we cannot see.
I think that it is nature’s way of balancing our power. From the moment light seeps into the morning humans awake like a hive of bees to scurry and buzz around, condensed so thickly in some areas you can hardly see the ground, building and marvelling at the elaborate structures of our talent. But at night the bees go to bed and the world wakes up.
For the animals are the heartbeat of the land, they make the bushes tremble, the trees blush and the flowers preen their vivid petals. They are Mother Nature’s infants whom she holds in the cradle of her nighttime nursery to flourish and to grow.
We are the toddlers who’ve learned to walk, starting to spurn our Mother and run wild across the earth with the temptation of potential.
Sometimes I miss the moonlight when it is blanked out by the clouds.
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142,152 Literary Works • 676,789 Reviews
Hia, saw you doing a lot of reviews and decided to read your story :3
I think for your chosen genre, you have an excellent opening sentence. Love the description :3
Tho I feel like you’re not doing a good enough job to convince me of your protagonists thesis statement: darkness is the true day. Because, in the dead of night, most animals are also silent, right? Also not sure why nature is breathing cool envy… Who is being envious here? Humankind of nature or nature of humans?
I like the idea of darkness being there to balance things out.
That said, I also think you are giving humans too much credit. I don’t think we are even close to colonizing the seas and if we do, I don’t think darkness will be much of a problem anymore.
In general I have a little trouble discerning on what side of this argument the narrator falls. Are they too afraid of the dark for they miss the moonlight?
It’s a very confusing narrative that seems to contradict itself at many points. Very peculiar.
A warm welcome to the site and I hope you have a great day~
Thanks for your review! It's super helpful, and I'll definitely use your feedback. I guess I didn't think about my narrator having an opinion, it's more of a stream of consciousness, but it would make more sense to take a side.