Published September 29, 2011
I’ll put on my best hat,
And you’ll put on yours,
As we walk hand in hand
Through every open door.
We’ll keep our eyes locked
on the destination ahead.
Though worlds apart,
Together we stand.
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139,535 Literary Works • 672,600 Reviews
Hey LittleLionWoman,
It's pretty good so far. I like where you're heading with it. But it does need to be longer
and you need to explain thoroughly what you mean. I didn't really get a sense of direction
until the end. And the end only just introduced your concept for the poem, when this
should be made clear from the start, where it will draw people in.
It's got heaps of potential and I can't wait to see what you do with it.
Miyakko.
so this is a good poem you've put.. Though I would give you the same advice as the reviewer before me.. I think besides that it was really good... The rhyme was good and flowed pretty well too... Though it was really short, It conveyed what it was meant to.. So well written..
Harshita:)
From what you've written, it seems really good. But I feel as though it should be longer, just to put more emotion into it. But so far, it's good.