Published September 29, 2011
Dear Brother,
I would like to know
When all this started.
When you changed from the loving brother
To an inconsiderate bastard.
When life became so dull
You needed drugs and alcohol to spice it up.
You became so angry, yet so refined
When you say such mean words,
and started calling your sister a bitch and a slut.
When suddenly you're not the big brother I looked up to.
Does anyone else notice?
You hold an air to you,
An air that makes you king,
And keeps your friends following.
But, someday you will fall.
Your friends will be gone,
And like always,
I will be the one on the ground to catch you.
Love,
Your younger sister
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139,536 Literary Works • 672,600 Reviews
That poem was great. I personally felt the emotion in it because I have a younger sister. I love how you kind of gave the brothers life there and how you changed it making him turn angry and into an antagonist. Then the end gave me chills of how even though the sister felt his anger she would still be there for him. Fantastic poem I loved it!
Please write more!
Hey again LittleLionWoman,
This is definitely a dramatic poem, and it was clear to see where you were going with it.
It was good that you had a source to write from and about, and that really came through
in your writing.
I know this poem must be very emotional and deeply passionate for you, but even with
all its coldness and anger, don't lose your sense of poetry. Edit it, and try and make it
more poetic - make it flow better and make it more lyrical.
But I think its so great you were very honest in this piece, and you displayed your true
feelings and emotions without shame. Not many can do that. Great stuff.
Miyakko.
Hello! I will be reviewing your story this evening. I really enjoyed this poem, it was really deep. Just one little nit- pick. The air you were looking for is heir I think, not air as in the atmosphere. I have an older sibling myself, and they graduated college last year, so for me this was a little close to home. Overall, I simply loved your piece, and I can't wait to read more! Keep on writing!