The Affluent and the Atrocious.

The sounds and echos of the voices around me spoke of sympathy, but I didn’t believe them. There careful words, fake smiles, and awkward pats were annoying me beyond what I thought was capable. This whole affair made me sick beyond belief. I saw another middle-aged, overly tanned woman with a bad spray tan coming after me. I walked out. The viewing had been all day. I didn’t know how to plan these sorts of things, so I just went off my lawyers advice. Clearly I should have just buried them in a wooden box in a shallow grave. Shallow like their friends. Shallow like their business deals. Shallow like their lifestyle. Shallow like their hearts.

The air was making me sick and I left the room. I went out back and started walking around the magnificent garden my mom insisted she would have. I am glad she followed through with the project. The landscaping was lovely and it was a good escape from where I was. I sat down on one of the benches; surrounded by trees, I knew I’d stay hidden. I heard a small sound as though someone was walking closer to me. I looked behind me and was glad it was my own imagination acting up. I turned back around and saw a figure standing about 20 feet away from me. She was wearing a dark golden dress that flowed out just above her knee. The bodice of the dress was black and outlined with golden sparkles. Her soft brown hair fell just below her shoulders. It wasn’t until I noticed the small smirk forming on her face when I recognized who it was.

“Olivia Batchelor, what do I owe you for this lovely surprise?” I smiled.

“You seem awfully happy, considering your parents just died.” she said cooly.

“Yeah, well.” I said carelessly. They were hardly my parents and she knew that.

She walked closer to me and placed her hand on my shoulder, “It’s okay, Ellis.” She wrapped her arms around me and I gladly returned the hug. Even if I didn't need it, her comfort somehow helped me. It was hard to find some honest solace.

“It really has been too long.” I sighed.

“I know. I’m sorry I left. I had to. You know how things were, and well, I just did what I do best, you know….”

I sighed, “You ran from your problems and left me to pick up your mess.”

“Ellis, don’t do that! It was a long time ago. It’s the past, and I’m here now and so are you. Can we just make the most of it?”

“You could’ve come back at any time you wanted. I would have taken care of you. I would have, Olive. You know that. But you left me for better things. You left me because you doubted me. You didn’t trust me enough. That’s what hurt the most. I thought you’d trust me enough to let me help you.”

She laughed, “Not all problems can be fixed with money. I needed to figure this out on my own. I did. The problems fixed. No ones gonna come after me like that again. I wasn’t running. I went to face it. Now it’s all over with and I came back. I came back for you. I came back, because I had to make sure you knew I still loved you. Even if you don’t believe me. Even if you won’t take me back, I had to make sure you knew. I’ve thought of you every single day while I was gone. Every. Single. Day. I haven’t had a good nights sleep in three years. I always wake up screaming and reaching out to you. And now you’re here and I find myself doing the same thing.”

Her tears broke my heart and I realized I couldn’t let the past hurt me. I was done kidding myself. I had absolutely no one right now, and here she shows up. I need honest company. She made one mistake, and once it was better, she came back. She didn’t want to give me anything less than perfect and that was enough for me. I pulled her into my arms and kissed her delicate lips. Soft first, then hard with passion. I had never felt more alive.

We sat there under the moonlight in that hidden part of the garden. I heard someone softly calling my name. I didn’t want to go back to that awful scene. I couldn’t deal with it. I couldn’t leave the safety of this girl, no, woman sitting beside me.

“You wanna get out of here?” I suggested.

“I’d thought you’d never ask.” She grabbed my hand and lead me out the backway to my small hidden garage where I kept my motorcycle. She remembered well. I tossed her a helmet and before I got onto the bike she stopped me. “I wanna take you somewhere.”

And so without any hesitation, she drove and we were off into the starlit sky.

An hour later we arrived in Vegas. Figures. We went into one of the casinos and ate dinner and gambled. I played some poker and I won about $10k. It wasn’t that much compared to what I had, but I felt like a millionaire. The feeling of winning made me feel so alive, so complete. I won 10k and I won the girl of my dreams back. Like the moon, I kept climbing higher and higher into the sky.

Before I knew what I was doing I drunkenly said, “Let’s get married!”

“What?” she asked in disbelief.

“Marry me, pretty girl, marry me!” I shouted.

She laughed and nodded her head. And the next thing I know we were at the chapel signing papers and saying “I do”.

“Let’s go some place fantastic!” I said.

“Like where? We’re already in Vegas!”

“Let’s go to the very best hotel there is. We’ll have the finest things in the world! You’ll have everything you’ve ever dreamed of, my beautiful wife!” And so we got a room at the Bellagio hotel on the very top floor. And we got champagne and we drank and drank and drank.

“So my--ma luvly bridee,” I stuttered out in my drunken stupor, “w-wwut shud we do next?”

And so we did what any newly celebrated husband and wife would do. We made love for the first time in 3 years. It was the best I had in a long time. She had gotten some better since the last time we were together or maybe I was just incredibly drunk. Probably both. It was perfect in every way I could think of. And when I awoke I was so relieved to see her by my side. Except I had forgotten everything we had done. I had forgotten about the whole marriage thing.

“Who are you?” I asked when I first awoke.

She laughed, “You’re funny Ellis.”

I looked closely and those feelings started coming back and I didn’t know how she got here or what I was doing, but I was glad.

“What exactly happened last night? The last thing I remember was my parents funeral and kissing you.” I said truthfully.

“We got married, silly. Speaking of which, I need you to fill out some of this paper work. When I got up this morning I realized it wasn’t all finalized. Is this something you still want to do.” she said sweetly.

I didn’t want to lose her. But I wasn’t terribly sure what was going on, “How about we go get some breakfast. We’ll get dressed and go and eat.”

“I haven’t gotten any clothes.” she said looking sad.

“Oh. Well, we’ll order room service, then take you shopping and talk about it over lunch.”

She smiled and gave me a kiss. I loved her being here around me. The warmth of her body next to mine made me feel alive. I could only feel the happiness of her here.

“You know what?” I asked.

“What?” she smiled.

“You are the greatest thing. You really are. I’ve never seen someone so perfect in my entire life. We’ve been disconnected for three years. Three long years, and yet I feel as though you’ve never left me. I don’t need to go over anything. Give me those papers.”

She handed me the papers and I signed in all of the spaces required. Then I ate some breakfast and fell asleep again. Almost as though I had passed out. I felt her warmth on me and everything in my life was at peace.

Until I woke up.

I felt the coldness of nothing next to me. When I awoke she was nowhere to be found. She was gone. I knew she hadn’t just left for a while because the smell of her was gone. Everything felt empty and numb. I got up and I looked around hoping I was wrong. How could she break my heart again? How could she? She was my everything. We had always been so close, so in love. I looked all around the hotel room, hoping to catch a glimpse of her. Everywhere I looked around and around trying so desperately to find her. Eventually I came across a note written in her perfect lovely handwriting. I read it again and again memorizing every line.

Dearest Ellis,

I love you, you must know that. Our hearts beat in rhythm together, and together we’ll be one day. I had to leave though. Responsibility called me elsewhere. I have other obligations. I realized that getting married was a mistake. We’re so young, Ellis. So young. I can’t be committed to anyone or anything anyhow. I’m sorry it had to be this way. I wish I didn’t have to hurt you. I wish I didn’t have to break your heart. But there wasn’t a better way. No, there was nothing I could do.

My darling, those papers you signed were divorce papers. I now have no obligation to you. Don’t try to find me, please. This is my battle and I have to take care of it. I took some money. I hope you don’t mind. I paid for the hotel room for about a month until you can work out other arrangements. You have about ten thousand dollars I left you. Please, Ellis. Don’t be mad with me. Don’t. I know you love me. I know you care about people more deeply than any other person I have ever known. If you have that deep care for me, then you’ll let it go. You’ll make your fortunes wisely, I’m sure. My dearest, oh my dearest. It makes me cry to think that I have to leave you. Whenever you miss me, I want you to look into the stars, because that’s where I am now. Drifting among millions of people. Wish me luck in this world, as I would do the same for you.

All my love,

Olive

I could see where the ink was smudged by her tears. I wanted to help her, but she had already helped herself. I couldn’t handle this pain. I couldn’t handle anything at all. I went down and bought the only thing that could satisfy my dreams. It’s silver felt soothing to my mind. I placed one golden bullet into the chamber and I fired, the gun in one hand and the note in the other. No one could take advantage of me any longer.