A Rose

by Litehawk

Published January 27, 2010

How the roses smell so sweet,
And their thorns a warning sign,
A signal we all should heed,
Before we cross that line.
-
For the rose itself is not sweet,
It’s not fun, enjoyable, or grand,
It simply stabs you every time you try,
To submit to its command.
-
A scent so unique but not so true,
It wants to pull you in,
So you can be just one more pawn,
As it commits its evil sin.
-
With petals so delicate to the touch,
Make contact and you’ll break them,
And you’ll be the one to have to clean it up,
As they fall from their injured stem.
-
Such a regal beast it hypnotizes us all,
As we strive to feel its touch,
And though it may look so fine,
It is nothing but a crutch.

Comments & reviews · 6
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Iamnotperfect
Review
Iamnotperfect wrote a review Review · Aug 19, 2010

Hi I really like your imagery and I think there is nothing more poetic than a poem about a rose. I really like the first part however I don't see the same flawness in this part :

For the rose itself is not sweet,
It’s not fun, enjoyable, or grand,
It simply stabs you every time you try,
To submit to its command.

This is because in this stanza I don't see he same pattern that I saw on the rest of the poem, especially

"It’s not fun, enjoyable, or grand,"

The part that I like the most is :

"How the roses smell so sweet,
And their thorns a warning sign,
A signal we all should heed,
Before we cross that line."

This is true and is something that we see in our everyday life. For example someone's aspect can be deceiving because their beuty might give you the impression that they are beautful inside as they are outside but once you get closer to them then you can get hurt

This stanza reflects what I am trying to say as well:

"Such a regal beast it hypnotizes us all,
As we strive to feel its touch,
And though it may look so fine,
It is nothing but a crutch."

User avatar
simplycomplex
Review
simplycomplex wrote a review Review · Aug 17, 2010

Wow, this poem is interesting and creative. I love rhyming. So good job with that :).

How the roses smell so sweet,
And their thorns a warning sign,
A signal we all should heed,
Before we cross that line.
-
For the rose itself is not sweet,
It’s not fun, enjoyable, or grand,
It simply stabs you every time you try,
To submit to its command.

This is my favorite part. It's a really strong beginning and immediately makes you picture what everyone assumes is a perfect, innocent rose.
Good work!

beccalicious94 wrote a review Review · Aug 15, 2010

Litehawk wrote:How the roses smell so sweet,
And their thorns a warning sign,
A signal we all should heed,
Before we cross that line.
-
For the rose itself is not sweet,
It’s not fun, enjoyable, or grand,
It simply stabs you every time you try,
To submit to its command.
-
A scent so unique but not so true,
It wants to pull you in,
So you can be just one more pawn,
As it commits its evil sin.
-
With petals so delicate to the touch,
Make contact and you’ll break them,
And you’ll be the one to have to clean it up,
As they fall from their injured stem.
-
Such a regal beast it hypnotizes us all,
As we strive to feel its touch,
And though it may look so fine,
It is nothing but a crutch.


I loved this poem! You seem to have a way with words my friend. I like how you describe everything so meticulously. The rhyme scheme is lovely. Conveying an entire meaning through touching a rose is a very interesting idea. Keep up the great writing, and I look forward to reading more from you! :D

User avatar
Mizzle
Review
Mizzle wrote a review Review · Jan 27, 2010

Hi there. I quite like this, actually. A lot. I loved it. :D
I loved most of your stanzas and lines, however the first and fourth stanza were a little off to me; maybe just the flow, or something. Not sure.
Unlike KnightlyAngel, I understand your last line, and I think it's pretty clever. :D
Well, I loved this.
Tata, now.
-Mizz

User avatar
alex Comment
alex commented Comment · Jan 27, 2010

Ok so that was so good. I loved it keep writing. I agree with Knightly Angel

KnightlyAngel09 wrote a review Review · Jan 27, 2010

Hey.:)

Nice to meet ya. I'm Nixie.

Oh, I love this poem. I've a thing for roses and for rhymes.

This is a deviation from the 'sweet rose of love' poetry. It's very fresh and I absolutely love your symbolism. Let's see... This put in my mind the image of a coquette. Especially these lines:

For the rose itself is not sweet,
It’s not fun, enjoyable, or grand,
It simply stabs you every time you try,
To submit to its command.


Loved it. Saw a man who tries to win over a woman who simply refuses to be won. I really like it, you showed a character with so much depth by comparing it to a rose. In the 2nd, you show a character of someone who almost refuses to be won over. In the third, that same character, seems to be a flirt. In the fourth, the image of a strong character is shattered by you showing that this person, simply is afraid to be loved lest she gets hurt.

I really liked it overall. Except for your final line. It made no sense to me. I felt like you threw it in for the sake of a rhyme.

Anyway, still loved it. Keep writing.:) And PM me if ya need anything. Take care. Smile.:)



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