The Hidden Treasure

A good story with every possible details and the beauty of each and every thing present there....
Keep writing...

Hello Lily! I enjoyed this read quite a bit, it was small but it was one that got to the point right away, like boom... bam... here it is, and no more, it was constant imagery and such and giving items characteristic terms. Like almost all pieces of writing tho it did have its, pros and cons so I'll take each paragraph and show you what i like and didn't like about it, hope it helps! well, here I GO! MASKED POET AWAY!

An abandoned house holds the artwork of the past, each of its rooms stripped bare and covered in a blanket of weeds, grass and mold. When you said "each of its rooms" I felt as if it was correctly done, it didn't sound right, my brain kept wanting to say, "each room" and just remove the "of its", this could just be me but hey it's still a well put together sentence, the only other part of it was when it said, "Covered in a blanket of weeds, grass and mold." It just sounds weird in my opinion but then again that could just be me. I liked the thought of heading down this hall passing rooms full of dusty art and pealing paint, it was slightly stress revealing.
Ceilings fallen with thanks to the war of cold, damp, dirt, dust and air.This sentence was a bit confusing due to the words "with thanks" threw me off of this part so I just ignored those two words and read it without them, and besides that yet again extraordinary imagery, this hooks up with the sentence before it, making me see the paintings even more dustier, and the walls dirty and damp. A broken door is the gateway to the smallest darkest room of the house, the only murky window faces the right wall and depicts an item lost to all.Most of me wants to say, this is the perfect sentence to end this paragraph, and just all round perfect, but it does have two flaws that disrupted my reading, but I'm also a picky writer. "Smallest darkest room of the house" to me it doesn't sound right without a comma to separate the words, "Smallest" and "Darkest", besides that it's perfect to me =) I don't see why you need this at all, I'd remove that last bit, I don't see the need for it.

Light shines upon the dark damp wall "," to which it is hung at a now crooked angle. A mirror. An object which holds faces of the past. Its surface shines with a dull glow, the glass tinted with the green sign of age. Yet its beauty is still captured in the detail of its frame. Though the coloring of an once vibrant gold has faded, the slowly rotting carvings on the wood still show. Swirls dance around the edges and curve into roses near each one of the four corners, though the detail of each petal has crumbled, its natural structure still stands. With this part, instead of reviewing each sentence I'm just going to do the whole thing, easier for me, and for you. If I was the writer of this I would of placed a comma between "wall" and "to"m and remove the "a" before the "now crooked angle". I like how you used the periods to stimulate pauses between the next part of the paragraph, "An object which holds faces of the past." Is most amazing, I love small piece and i could see it become a famous quote if this was in a book like "twilight" or "harry potter" instead of a period at "age." I would of placed a comma seeing as your still talking about the same thing and they connect, either way it's still properly done, and for the rest of this paragraph i got nothing to say besides, "Bravo".

Behind the mirror a patch of mold can be found hiding from the world in its dark damp defenses, its grown to almost grab its protector, keep it placed to its post which was given many years before. Also hidden hammered to its place stands a rusting iron nail. Its structure weakened by the deterioration of its form, it starts to finally buckle under the weight of its long time friend. The mirror shifts. The nail finally snaps and falls, bringing with it its larger partner. Seconds pass before the destruction is final. The first corner hits the ground and the rippling effect begins and ends with its breaking. Its tragic demise paints the floor with tears of its surface. The glittering shards cast light around the room to give one last act of beauty.This first part of the paragraph, the first sentence seemed a bit long, and dragged but kept me reading and imagining this place, this mirror. the word describing the rusty nail, "stand" like as is stands or what ever I don't really like how you used it cause in my head I think of a rusty nail just there, but I know you meant it's in the wall. For the rest of it, I think more commas and less periods need to be used, it sounds like I'm reading steps when i have to constantly do a short pause at a period.

The mirrors long life is at a end, but will never be forgotten.