SEA-SHORE
You’re that unsteady sea,
That once called out to me,
“Oh shore, you without a sea and me without a shore,
Is a sight extremely sore.”
I went swirling driven by the wind,
Gently beside you pinned.
All I could see was an unsteady sea,
Rippling in a blanket of bronchue-blue.
And a still shore dipped in earth-shine gold,
In an airy womb of sky and a weather so cold.
You washed upon me,
Carrying away a part of me deep into the sea.
The exhibition of jewels and shells and the sea’s song of wave,
Was nature’s way to express our rave.
You said the surf was the tether,
To keep the sea and shore together.
This I chose to believe against those voices,
Warning a tsunami with no choices.
This sea-shore were friends indeed.
You helped me get back to me when in need.
And I was the place where your breakers could be.
The waves rippled gently,
As crumps of seaweed washed upon me silently.
That signaled your call,
So I let my sand swell tall.
Still as always I stood there,
Looking at the horizons with your waves terrifyingly unusual in the air.
Your waves struggled to get back to shaping.
But you grew paler with raging,
I’m drowing .
I’m drowing in a sea of lost thoughts,
Trying to make sense of our knots.
I realized this isn’t anymore the sea,this is a tsunami.
I wish you drowned with me,
But waves don’t drown under it’s own sea.
Little did we know,
The sea and shore were meant to be foes.
I knew I was washed for eternity as I lost sight of the sky,
But I wasn’t ready yet for a goodbye.
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,855 Reviews
This was a really good poem, maybe a bit long but that doesn't matter really, it was a sweet thing to read and seemed to focus on parts of the sea, which I think is better than doing just the sea, and I liked the ending. 'But I wasn't ready for goodbye' It shows an emotional yet powerful end.
Keep writing poems!
-Ross
Thank you RossLighting..
Yeah,I tried my best to minimise the length..and I did cut a few lines too....maybe next time I'll try using a word limit.
Thanks for your help.^_^
I very much enjoyed this! I loved how you compared the sea and the shore to your relationships. There is a great amount of beautiful imagery and your analogy adds to it and makes it a much more relatable topic making it a very good poem. The only part that didn't quite make sense to me and that was the line "The sea and shore were good foes" I was a bit confused as too what exactly you meant by that, perhaps another line relating to that would help to make it stronger and to make a bit more sense. Over all this was a very good poem; I enjoyed it very much and i look forward to reading more.
I very much enjoyed this! I loved how you compared the sea and the shore to your relationships. There is a great amount of beautiful imagery and your analogy adds to it and makes it a much more relatable topic making it a very good poem. The only part that didn't quite make sense to me and that was the line "The sea and shore were good foes" I was a bit confused as too what exactly you meant by that, perhaps another line relating to that would help to make it stronger and to make a bit more sense. Over all this was a very good poem; I enjoyed it very much and i look forward to reading more.
Thanks a lot verba4scriptor!!!:)
Okay,I'll try changing the sentence..if it looks a bit complicated.^_^