Published February 28, 2017
A flash of scenes flood my mind,
as I put my brain to rewind.
Those days we were forced into classes,
trying to concentrate on the complicated theory of gases.
The very next second our sleepy heads realize,
physics gets replaced with maths,
Then comes the addition,subtraction, multiplication and division,
which turns us into psychopaths.
And when we look for a change in literature,
The questions asked gives us an organ failure.
Sometimes our brains get completely stuffed and falls on the bench PLOP!
That's it the lecture in our class starts non-stop.
But now those chains are broken, the doors are opened.
And we get a chance to free ourselves from school life's tension.
But still we stand silent and remain unspoken.
Wishing to return back to those days with a merciful extension.
But instead today we stand here thanking and biding our farewell.
Unaware of where we are all to dwell.
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139,305 Literary Works • 672,528 Reviews
I don't have much to say, I do agree with NickItaShiji, but I do have a few things to add. I haven't come across many poems that can, in a way, give out different feelings to each person. What I mean is that this poem means different things for each person. Like for some people maybe, it may mean that it was a happy way to say goodbye, while for others, it may express the sadness of saying goodbye. Keep it up!
Thanks Mokingjay78!!!:)
Welcome!
Hey, there.
First of all, the poem indeed has a great theme. But i think you could add more to it... especially, to the title. I didnt really find the description of the poem to be "tearful". It had feels - remembering the days of schools, getting upset and at the same time the ignorance about the future. But these didnt give the overall image the adjective - tearful. Thats what i think...
You have a rhyming going on here... i like the usage of the words. But the times of the rhythms dont match up. The lines are being somewhat short and large or large and short. I think you can add or substract to make the rhythm rhyme in time.
In the first line , you said "a flashback of memories" and then you said "brain to rewind"... well, i think flashback and rewind refer to memory already. So i dont quite like the word memory in the first line.. i think you could use "scenes".
The 6th and 7th lines were really big. You should break the lines into parts so that they get a visible rhythm and dont make the reader gasp for breath while reading.
That will all from me. I know i criticized a lot...but i DID like your poem as well. Thanks for the poem and keep on writing!!
Thanks a ton! I did a little editing tho...
Hmmm....the word "unexpected" ... could you edit again? Like... a word which means "something natural and expected to happen yet quite hard to accept"? ...thats how i would modify it%u263A
Well...I'll try not using any descriptions for the word farewell....'cause I'm bad at that. So what do you think 'bout the word 'Adieu'?!
Hmm... i think its good. Its got a different tone... you may use it. Anddd.. dont stop doing something you are not good at. Instead, try to do it over and over again. All the best %uD83D%uDE0A
Haahaaa..Okay...
Sorry ...it doesnt support my phones imoji
It's kay...I guessed it though....
:P
It's kay...I guessed it though....
:P