The rulers of the Solar System carried their meeting at the highest floor of their parents’ (Rendarin King and Queen) palace. In the middle of the floor was a room where they gathered. Ilal entered it to find a space with no end; indeed, galaxy painted the wall, the ceiling, and the ground. Iridescent stars moved together in graceful patterns with blackness as their background. Only a deity’s sight could discern where the wall and the ground ended.
In the middle of the room was a round table, and around it were ten chairs, each of them painted in glowing gold. The Queen’s Children occupied half of the table - well, most of them. Terna was yet to be seen, and Ilal suspected this had something to do with the King’s Children. Between Alta and Anam was Nevea, assuming the seat of Ambassador of Creation. Ilal sat beside Anam.
Termin, who had been following Ilal, assumed his seat beside the wall. He was a deity of the third rank, a rank below than Ilal and their siblings, and so was qualified to attend the meeting. The only deities who were powerful enough to reach the first rank were the Queen and King. Three more deities assumed their positions: Arga sat beside Termin at one side, while Selin and Lafia sat at the other side.
‘And now we wait,’ Anam said, smiling. He leaned back to the chair, folding his arms.
‘Ah, waiting. What a waste of time.’ Alta rested his arm on the table and opened his hand. In it was a sphere of wind, changing patterns according to his intention. He looked up to Ilal, then with a glimmer of mischief in his eyes. ‘What do you think is happening between Yalir and Terna?’
Ilal stared at Alta thoughtfully. He valued beauty, whether it came in pictures or musics. The god gravitated to things he deemed interesting. It wasn’t the fact that Terna associated herself with another goddess in secret that intrigued him - no, same-sex or incestuous relationships were common in the world of deities - it had something to do with Yalir being an unknown goddess, a common one. None of them knew what she was capable of.
They shrugged, and in a whim, changed into a male form. ‘I don’t know and I really don’t care,’ they said. ‘That’s not the most important topic to discuss right now.’
‘It is interesting though, sister!’ Anam joined in. ‘We’re talking about Terna! The one who never had any relationship before.’
If Terna heard that, Ilal was sure there would be some sort of quake. Ilal didn’t think now was the best time to discuss about relationships, but the conversation served as a silent breaker. ‘At least,’ they said, raising an eyebrow at Anam, ‘Terna didn’t change lovers in between a few decades. And she definitely wouldn’t be afraid of confessing a crush on her sibling if she has one.’
Anam winched, taking the full hit of their words. Ilal smiled. He deserved it. Unlike humans, incest between deities wasn’t a taboo. Perhaps it was because of Arxey’s exclusiveness that struck a nerve in Anam. The God of Black Hole was a mystery.
‘A relationship between deities - the appeal in that is lost to me,’ Nevea said, joining the discussion, her voice calm and majestic.
Ilal scrutinized her. Nevea had her own lust, but the concept of relationship didn’t attract her. Ilal could understand her, though. In an angle, it was easier to choose between being committed to someone and being committed to oneself. Nevea chose the latter; even the idea of her being the Queen, ingrained by their parents didn’t entice her either. And that was odd since she was born with a natural inclination to leadership. She was a living contradiction.
Ilal let her mind wander without a purpose for a good ten minutes before the door was open. Terna emerged with Quayn, God of the Dead alongside her, their arms locked. Behind them were another two Children of Rendarin King, Ania and Felih, chattering between them. Arxey followed them, face hidden by his hood. Ilal didn’t need to watch Anam’s reaction to his presence; they could feel the male hormone oozing from him.
Ilal turned to look at him and pinched their nose as if they had smelled something unpleasant. Seeing them, Anam cleared his throat and held his chin high, trying to look as professional as he could. Terna took her seat beside Alta. Ania and Felih sat next to her and Quayn opposite them. Arxey took the seat belonging to the heir of Rendarin King.
Ilal noticed the fifth Child of the King, Suen, wasn’t with them. They wondered what had happened.
‘So,’ Ania started, excitement glimmering in her eyes, ‘what’s the big bad stuff that’s happened?’
Ilal set their face to conceal any expression of disdain. Ania was Goddess of the Past, capable of destroying current time line around her to the one before, allowing her to create a pleasant one. They remembered how she turned back time when Terna slapped her and made it so that she slapped Terna first. The goddess was uncontrollable.
‘Anam, Terna and Ilal sensed an unfamiliar aura on Earth. Then, destruction happened,’ Alta answered, his focus shifted to the middle of the table.
‘That’s it?’ Ania frowned.
‘We don’t know who are the criminals, so to speak,’ Anam said along with gestures.
Ania giggled. ‘And the five of you can’t handle them.’
Terna, her eyes widened, was about to say something unpleasant before Felih rested her hand on Ania’s arm. ‘Stop it, twin. We’re not here to cause a conflict,’ she whispered. The Goddess of Darkness liked to keep her voice low.
Ilal was glad for her interruption. Ania’s childish behaviour should be ended as soon as it manifested itself. They decided to take charge of the conversation. ‘This whole issue started yesterday, and unlike previous cases, the perpetrators were definitely invisible.’ They paused. ‘Or we can say they’ve supervised our daily routines to come with a foolproof plan.’
‘Terna told me she saw red aura leaving Kalaki’s sky, and that you are the first deity to witness it,’ Quayn said with a diplomatic voice. Ilal admired him the most out of the Rendarin King’s Children; he was efficient and professional.
They folded their hands, looking to the table thoughtfully. ‘It happened at the outskirt of Egali. After I watched a shepherd ushering his sheep into their den, I went to check the issue here regarding the planet Aevi. When I came back to Egali, this time at Rof Itwah, I saw red aura coming from behind the library and seemed to possess the shepherd. It quickly spread to my followers who were practicing rituals on the field around the building.’ They glanced at Anam.
He took the cue and went animated. His hands moved to exaggerate his words. ‘They turned mad! Like the shepherd! They went to eat those who weren’t infected, and we had to contain them and bring them to Ilal’s Earth base for inspection. We went back to the shepherd’s place, and there was a crater. His sheep were all gone. That was when Terna joined us.’
He raised an eyebrow at Terna and received a frown from her. Terna disliked sharing stories. She let out a long sigh. ‘I fixed the crater and scanned the rest of the Earth. I felt destruction in Kalaki and the three of us went there to check.’ She left it like that with a silence.
And they foolishly waited for more. But nothing came out of her.
‘That’s it?’Ania leaned forward, wearing a frown and an eager smile on her face.
Terna didn’t look at her. Ilal knew she had given up speaking to that goddess a long time ago - a century and a half. They inwardly shook their head. The unity of the Children - from the Queen and the King - was strained more and more as they grew older and their views differed from each other. The Queen’s Children ruled some nations on Earth while the King’s ruled others. And the planets in the Solar System, they argued among themselves on whom to rule them.
‘Terna?’ Quayn asked with a gentle voice.
Terna looked at him. She had a good relationship with the god. ‘People died, buildings collapsed.’ She paused. ‘We saw a trail of red aura leaving Kalaki just after we arrived there. I think it’s an important part of the whole scenario.’
‘Anything about the possessed people, Ilal?’
Ilal sighed. ‘Progress is abysmal, though we did gain some new, but insignificant, information. Our main subject was the shepherd, Nas. From the reading of his brain pattern, we found out that the possession manipulated a part of his brain focusing on his fear - nightmares and all. We don’t know how it works, but right now we can safely assume the entire process is not organized in the sense that the puppeteer didn’t have direct control of their puppets.’
A/N: And here's the belated subchapter! I'm not happy with this one. I feel like it's going nowhere, but the meeting is important to show the deities are taking this issue seriously. I just figuring the content of it. Also! The abilities of Children of Destruction (CoD) are temporary, so perhaps there is no darkness or time manipulation, I dunno. What do you think? For the Children of Creation (CoC), they have planet creating, star creating, unlimited law (magic) creating, element creating, and soul creating. What can the CoD have to juxtapose those abilities?
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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125,005 Literary Works • 672,798 Reviews
Hmm, I'm a bit torn on this chapter. On the one hand, it's nice to get Ilal's family finally laid out. Seriously, it cleared up a lot of things for me. On the other hand, yeah, slight overload of names. I was actually most okay, though I would definitely try to explore the relationships between the deities more (while still not dragging the whole scene out too long.)
I'm definitely going to miss reading this novel - you've really gotten me most invested in Terna and her character arc. I like Anam as a character, but he doesn't feel much like an active protagonist, more like he's just along for the ride. Ilal I feel like I don't know nearly as well as I should, despite being in their head for a lot of this novel so far, but as a whole I've still really enjoyed reading this. Definitely don't give up on it - there are too many good ideas here. And let me know when you've started writing it again! <3
Perhaps part of the problem is how neutral Ilal feels in all this. It doesn't feel like they have very strong feelings one way or the other about any of their siblings. It feels more like they are colleagues that Ilal barely knows rather than siblings they have dealt with for thousands of years. Even things like saying that Ania was impossible to control just feels like Ilal is reporting a fact dispassionately rather than commenting on their relationship.
That being said, I quite like what the Children of Destruction's abilities are, or at least the one about turning back time. I like how, essentially, she has to destroy an entire timeline to use her powers, and so even though it can create, destruction is an inherent part of it too. The others didn't strike me as much. I would say to definitely go for contrast/parallels, just not to make the CoD's abilities too obviously "evil."
So... you told me you're taking a long break. You haven't really told me why, but I'd guess it's because you're having trouble working out plot details, character relationships, worldbuilding, pretty much trying to manage all the threads that go into a novel. At least, that's usually what my problem is at this stage in my novel writing. Maybe if you tell me more about it, I could offer you better advice, but for me what really helps is having a few key scenes in my mind that I know I want to write, that are essentially the reason I'm writing this novel. Basically, I try to begin with the end in mind, and then even if I have no idea how to get there, at least I know where I'm going. Sometimes, I set word count limits for myself: I have to get the characters to this important scene in ___ amount of words. Anything to stop me from stagnating in uncertainty - even if I don't set up the important scenes very well, that's what drafting is for. I've found it's a lot easier to fix things after you've got the first draft done.
Anyway, I may have just blabbered on for ages there and not said anything of use.
Hello.
Haven't read previous parts. Just going off what I see here.
The introduction of the parents felt haphazard to me, with the brackets indicating and no working into the prose. If the note was just for new readers, then put it as an A/N instead of in brackets. Because right now it looks like the piece is trying to sweep a lot of dynamics under the rug.
I've been in exactly this position, where I want to focus on the plot instead of the character relationships, but the character relationships become the plot and add in a very large dimension. Reading over the opening paragraph about this, and reading father down, I'm asking one question to the point of distraction:
How does Ilal feel about being related to these people, parents and siblings included?
The parent part of the question could've been answered previously, but the fact you slipped in so quietly makes me think you haven't.
Continuing to read, there are lots of characters introduced by their traits— but not any sort of actual character. I don't get a sense of how the characters interact with each other, how they feel about each other; you mention the King's Children and the Queen's Children don't seem to get along, but we don't actually have any direct sense of who they all are.
Basically, I feel this is a wasted opportunity. Meetings are boring but important, I agree. That being said, the people within the meeting should be interesting, and the narrator should be weaving in notes about how they actually relate to each other to give a sense of interest and tension. Is there somebody who dominates the question in the room? Does the PoV character find this a chore? Is there a person breaking protocol/etiquette and not behaving properly, be it talking to another before they walk into the room or doodling?
These types of questions give me a sense of who all these characters are, and you can do that in the early section of the meeting to make it interesting and to give a sense of how the meeting's going to go. That is lacking, and that is what feels like the missing part to this meeting.
All in all, too many questions about how they all relate for me to really enjoy this. Answer that and this will be much better.
Hope this helps! Let me know if you have any questions or comments.
~Rosey
Okay, so first to answer your query...
Obviously I've only read a chapter of this prior to this point, so I hardly know about the CoD and CoC, although perhaps if the CoC have all these creation abilities, the CoD could have the same abilities but destructive instead of creative? Like instead of element/soul creating, they could destroy elements and souls, depending on how much you want these two groups to parallel each other. My other thought was that perhaps some of the CoD's abilities could be permanent rather than temporary, which makes them a more formidable force - unless the CoC's abilities are also temporary, in which case they're more evenly matched. But I just figure, if the CoC's abilities are permanent and the CoD's are only temporary, that doesn't make the CoD sound that scary.
Anyway, couldn't they manipulate darkness and time even if it IS only temporary?
ANYWAY.
I love that you have a genderfluid character in this, particularly since these are deities, so why the heck not? Like deities in many cultures change shape and form and gender all the hecking time. (Cough cough Loki getting impregnated as a horse cough cough Zeus seducing a prince as a shower of gold cough cough) Obviously I don't know how this character's initial introduction went, but I picked up on it pretty easily here.
Prior to that point I didn't realize, and at first the "they" here confused me as to who "they" was, but I think it's mostly because Ilal's only referred to by name before this line, not pronoun. I mean, there's "their siblings," but since Termin and Ilal are mentioned together at the start of that sentence, I thought it meant "Termin and Ilal's siblings." Anyway, I like that you included a genderfluid character and did it so casually (in terms of just like "this character is male, this character is female, this character is genderfluid" and it's no biggie).
Honestly I didn't feel like this was going nowhere - it was cool to see the relationships and tensions between the deities, and it made sense they would have sort of this emergency meeting about what's happening. That said, there was kind of character overload, especially since some of the characters (like Alta) really don't actually figure into the chapter at all. There were so many names dropped that it got hard to keep track of anyone who wasn't Ilal, Terna, Anam, or Ania.